Aibu to find this inappropriate

[Westside1]

So I’m on a what’s app group for weightloss group. None of us have ever met, we usually share tips. Sometimes people post pics of their dogs. Over the weekend a member said her mum was very ill and then posted pictures of her in hospital bed all wired up to monitors etc and looking extremely ill. Now tell me if I’m wrong but I think this is so inappropriate and I’m thinking the poor woman in that bed having those pictures shared with 80 strangers?

Inappropriate and very attention seeking.

Just a mention of hospital would have sufficed.

I agree, totally inappropriate.
But I would also assume that the person doesn’t have anyone to talk to about it if they’re sharing with the weight loss group. Do you feel like you could maybe get in touch privately and offer support?

YANBU. I really don't get why people take and then post photos of their friends and family in a hospital bed. Definitely attention seeking.

Maybe your fellow Slimmer is feeling desperate unhappy and needs some attention.

I wouldn’t find it my place to judge.

If you’re in a weight loss group the idea is to support each other through the tough times that contribute to weight gain/eventual loss, so it would be appropriate for this woman to share what she’s dealing with in regards to her mum? I’d supply a picture too but that’s because I’ve a fear around never being believed, the woman maybe felt the same. If she didn’t offer proof then maybe no one would believe her.

I'm seeing this more and more. Or of them holding an old person's hand with a picture on social media so you can see the cannula. I just imagine the poor elderley relatives in pain and discomfort watching their children and grandchildren saying "hang on man hold my hand..yep just gonna take a pic...ah can I take it again".

Awful

@ButterflyAway

If you’re in a weight loss group the idea is to support each other through the tough times that contribute to weight gain/eventual loss, so it would be appropriate for this woman to share what she’s dealing with in regards to her mum? I’d supply a picture too but that’s because I’ve a fear around never being believed, the woman maybe felt the same. If she didn’t offer proof then maybe no one would believe her.

But surely you can see that your fear of being disbelieved by eighty complete strangers doesn't trump your mother's right to privacy when she's seriously ill in hospital and wired up to monitors etc?

I am guessing she wants to show the depth of her mother's situation. I wouldn't do it but I guess she understandably is looking for support so I would give it to her.

Do you know what, I'm calling bullshit on the 'she just needs support'. To me a weight loss group is there to give tips, advice and 'you can do it!' type messages. You don't have to support 80 strangers in whatever makes them eat - nobody has time for that, and it's inappropriate when the members are not trainer counsellors. Where do you draw the line - What if someone is suicidal and that's why they eat? Why is it up to someone who just wants cooking tips to take on that burden? And why should anyone support this thoughtless attention seeking?

This idea of a blanket 'support others no matter what', only EVER applies to women too. Let's not enable it please.

I wouldn’t feel any inclination to get in touch privately. I might justify this by saying it’s rewarding bad behaviour, but ultimately we all have friends and family of our own and don’t have resources for every passing stranger. Helping in an emergency when you happen to be present is obviously different.
I can’t imagine someone passing round photos like that at a meeting so why is it appropriate on line.

@YourFinestPantaloons
Cross posted. I agree

I'd feel so violated if I found out someone had shared pictures of me like that.

Absolutely hate it when people do this, I’ve seen people doing it to their children on social media and I find it so distasteful.

Re sharing pictures on FB as inappropriate.
I’ve recently seen a mum whose baby was born sleeping a week before due date. She took the baby home to meet other family and children then took photos of the children grieving holding the dead baby etc and again another day posted videos of the same things. I have no problem with the family seeing the baby etc. All part of the grieving process.The thing I do worry about is the pics and videos she shared of her children and wonder what they think about the photos being on Fb for all to see

@YellowandGreenToBeSeen

Maybe your fellow Slimmer is feeling desperate unhappy and needs some attention.

I wouldn’t find it my place to judge.

This. Not everyone has RL support Don't judge her for seeking support and/or attention from strangers when she is having a hard time.

This is actually making me think about the safety issues of being on such a large, presumably unsupervised, WhatsApp group of 80 strangers.
As for not judging, well the classic Christian advice was to forgive the sinner not the sin (and even then probably only if they had repented). She may not be a terrible person but it’s unacceptable behaviour and nobody who knows her so slightly has an obligation to help her.

Munchausen by proxy.

Someone in a work what's app group did this recently with their child in hospital and I found it really inappropriate. If someone wants support they don't need to post a photo they could just say what's going on surely.

I can see what you mean as if I was her mum and found out a photo of me ill had been shown to people I wouldn't be happy, and also as it is a weight loss group it isn't relevant.

However, I will also say, don't be too hard on her as it sounds like she might have been looking for support and with the stress, not thought straight. Maybe her friends haven't been very supportive, as people can tend to disappear if going through a tough time, and she finds the weight loss group a friendly bunch so this was like a cry for help.

Totally inappropriate.

Ok so it’s not just me. I was wondering was I very cranky! I’ve no problem with looking for support as it’s such a worrying time but it’s the photo sharing I’ve issue with. Even if she posted a picture of her mum in happier times saying her lovely mum was seriously ill we would still get the message.

I was very unwell after the birth of my daughter, I’ve just one photo of a few days after the birth. If anyone took a photo of my lying there I would have been very upset. I think I need to leave that group as stuff likes this just annoys me.