To want to leave London but not sure where to?

[HayzCo]

Early 30s, “two under two” and renting with my husband in London. We want move out of London (for the usual reasons) and have the flexibility to live anywhere now, as long as we can get to London once a week or so. Neither of us want to go back to where we grew up but other than that.. don’t really have a clue where to start.

If you made the move out of London, how did you decide where to go? What criteria did you consider?

AIBU to just pick a place that ticks boxes on paper and make the place home?

Nobody can work out your needs for you - only you can do that and you need to give it serious thought.

Where in London do you both need to commute to? As others have said, you’ll want to live on a train line for that station.

If you’ve got DC, how many nursery options and what hours do you need? Don’t pick somewhere rural as there won’t be as much choice.

Can you afford £££ on your weekly commute?

Where are your families? Do you want to be near them? Eg if they’re in Cornwall don’t choose to move to Kent as it’ll take you all day if ever you want to visit them.

Do you drive? Do you want to be able to walk to a station? Do you need to live near a hospital?

These are the sorts of things you need to work out based on your own circumstances.

You seem a bit vague about it, OP. Do you know if you want a town/city, or somewhere rural? Seaside? Countryside? Are you more interested in outdoor stuff liek nice walks/outdoor activities, or indoor stuff – soft play, shops, culture/arts/food scene?

A friend of mine left London for Lyme Regis and likes it. Commutable once a week but has the beach, countryside and some 'life' and culture to it.

IN 2 hours you could be in the Midlands which is MUCH cheaper than going south to the coast. Some parts of the Midlands are stunning - a friend just moved to Birmingham which while not stunning is cheap and she is bowled over by what a great city it is

There is such London obsession that people forget what great places we have elsewere

Do you want country or city??

If Paddington is ok for London stations. I'd look at Stroud in Gloucestershire. Do some googling. Great lively market town with award winning farmer's market and beautiful surrounding villages. Good schools ( would recommend Foxmoor for primary) including grammars if you are interested in that. A lovely rural atmosphere for bringing up kids but still enough going on. Beautiful views from the commons and a good fast train line into London.

a friend just moved to Birmingham which while not stunning is cheap and she is bowled over by what a great city it is

Birmingham has big plans to become an active travel city, putting walking, cycling and public transport at the for front and cars last.

so bear that in mind whether your a petrolhead or like active travel it may make a difference

South Lincolnshire has good rail links to London (1 hour 10 minutes from Grantham). Housing is pretty affordable. But it's Lincolnshire. There's not much here except fields and mud, which is fine if that's your thing. (Lincoln is pretty good, though, and we get the Red Arrows roaring about, which is quite cool.)

I want to too, husband doesn't, has family here so I'm stuck.. I want my children to have the freedom and fields that I did growing up, except now everything here is a block of flats or a shopping mall 🤦🏽‍♀️

Thanks for all the helpful advice and suggestions everyone. Please keep them coming! Lots of food for thought.

Definitely the issue is I’m too vague about what really matters, I guess because this stage of life (revolving around kids) is so new still and we don’t really know.

I hope for good schools and places to entertain the children (leisure centre/ parks etc) within walking distance (we drive but don’t want to rely on a car) and generally to move to a community that we can become part of. This probably suggests small city/ town? No pull to any place, other than London as noted, and always lovely to be able to visit the seaside easily!

I work for TfL. Where is your office?

Honestly I would start with transport and base your search around the train from the most convenient London terminus for both your offices

@HayzCo

Thanks for all the helpful advice and suggestions everyone. Please keep them coming! Lots of food for thought.

Definitely the issue is I’m too vague about what really matters, I guess because this stage of life (revolving around kids) is so new still and we don’t really know.

I hope for good schools and places to entertain the children (leisure centre/ parks etc) within walking distance (we drive but don’t want to rely on a car) and generally to move to a community that we can become part of. This probably suggests small city/ town? No pull to any place, other than London as noted, and always lovely to be able to visit the seaside easily!

Have you thought about somewhere in Bromley, perhaps beckenham.

It has what you've listed but is still London so easy access for work?

we drive but don’t want to rely on a car)

London has great public transport

The rest of the country is not set up so well

Have a look at somewhere like Kenilworth, that’s the type of place you can live and not use a car day to day, train and buses are ok and lots to do with children

Hi OP, we really need to know which mainline railway station is nearest to your work. I promise you that it won"t be outing telling us that, as quite a few people use each mailine station!

So we have moved to Hastings - town, community, cinema, lots of things for the DC to do, Ark recently took over the schools so they are all on the up, train is an hour and a half back to London (and we're 10 minutes walk from the station in Hastings) and beach - which is the dream - and which is a 5 minute walk from the house.

Those talking about Liverpool will have to consider that it has changed a LOT in the past 10 years. The amount of building work in the city centre is ridiculous so to me it feels overcrowded now. So all the reasons I moved back home here from London are slowly disappearing. Roads are busy, trains can be busy. The housing costs are ridiculous for the nicer parts (we’re not talking Uber posh, just normal Mr and Mrs Average areas/houses)

I live in Mossley Hill/Allerton/Calderstones area and houses are selling within a few days to a week. Our house was worth about £60-70k in 2001 ish. We bought it just 2 years later for £140k . It’s now worth nearly £400k. Just a 3 bed semi (one bedroom is a box room). People think housing in Liverpool is cheap but it isn’t anymore unless you WANT a house in one of the most deprived parts of the city/country….. Other areas like Aigburth with terraces which were inhabited a generation ago by people with very working class jobs are now inhabited by professionals like GPS, teachers, solicitors. People move into the area and can’t get their children into a local primary school.

Do your research, try and get local knowledge. Don’t rely on a weekend visit.

(Oh and laughing at the idea of Toxteth being green )

(Oh and laughing at the idea of Toxteth being green grin)

Parts of toxteth are green. Princes park, princes avenue. You also have great open views over the water from parts of it. Unfortunately it's extremely run down with a lot of crime, derelict housing etc. Can't imagine many southerners wanting to live there!

Liverpool is great in many ways but the poverty, deprivation, crime have got so much worse over the last few years. The city centre is ruined by beggars everywhere plus the insane amount of building. The corrupt mayor Joe Anderson sold off as much green space as possible for housing.

In spite of that there's a lot going on, south Liverpool has beautiful parks and architecture, you can be in Wales or the lakes in an hour or 2.

But I wouldn't live in a city to commute to another city.

I live in Mossley Hill/Allerton/Calderstones area and houses are selling within a few days to a week. Our house was worth about £60-70k in 2001 ish. We bought it just 2 years later for £140k shock. It’s now worth nearly £400k. Just a 3 bed semi (one bedroom is a box room). People think housing in Liverpool is cheap but it isn’t anymore unless you WANT a house in one of the most deprived parts of the city/country…

Wow I just had a look and can't believe how much prices have shot up! There was a huge increase between about 2000 and 2008 and then I think prices stayed stable for about 10 years ..but it looks like they've more or less doubled since 2018. Crazy.

Some lovely areas in the SW, around Bristol. Very easy by train to London.

Don't do it yet. Imagine your life now and then imagine making everything much less convenient and harder work logistically, and more expensive. Your kids are little. Fatigue and proximity to shops, cafes and parks is important right now. What you don't need is a long commute, expensive train fares, cold damp house that's expensive to heat snd feeling isolated for about 4-5 months of the year because you don't know many people within a 5 mile radius. And needing to drive absolutely everywhere and possibly wjth two cars if you both need to be mobile which is likely.

A two hour commute on paper sounds fine, but let me tell you it's EXHAUSTING trying to do it both ways in one day and it takes it out of me for a few days afterwards and my kids are older. I always joke it would be easier to fly to another country.

Wait until you know what you want and need. Move in first year of school or just before - you'll be more aware of any specific needs your children may have. They might be fine in a little village school wjth only one class they might not. It's impossible to say. It's hard to reverse this decision so don't make it lightly. Country life is not for everyone. Commuter towns might be a safer bet if you definitely want to get out of London now but be within easy each of the capital snd still have plenty of amenities. That said you're still looking at steep rents.

Puffykins are your DC in an Ark Academy yet?

@HeartvsBrain

Hi OP, we really need to know which mainline railway station is nearest to your work. I promise you that it won"t be outing telling us that, as quite a few people use each mailine station!

Oh sorry! I think Waterloo is most ideal but we both go into London for meetings so end up dashing here to there once we are in.

Are you absolutely certain you want to leave? London is a great place to bring up children. I know housing is expensive. You haven't said what sort of budget you have and what kind of property you want. Or have I missed that?

If you want Waterloo consider Poole and Bournemouth. Not cheap but lovely places to live.

I live in Central Bath (10 minutes walk from the train station) and used to (75% of the time) achieve 2 hours door to door to a variety of locations in Central London BUT some days it would be closer to 3 hours or I'd just give up. A regular commute is unpleasant (once or twice a weeks is fine) and lots of people move here with the intention of doing so and then give up after about 18 months (especially if they have to drive to/from the station as well).

We only use our car to go to the tip or to ferry DD around for sports fixtures (and holidays). Schools are all pretty good.

You probably want to look at market towns near(ish) London to find a similar lifestyle.

What about Lewes, Chichester, Farnham, Tunbridge Wells, Amersham?

(I am unfamiliar with vast swathes of South East so just going where some of my friends live).

I know Surbiton is still London but it doesn't feel like being in London. It has an easy commute to Waterloo and there are good schools around. Bushy park and Hampton Court are nearby for days out. Thames Ditton, Teddington, Hampton, East Molesley have also good access to Waterloo.