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Original poster

To think friend might be jealous?

15 replies

obsessedwithcouchguy · 03/10/2021 19:37

My friend noticeably become competitive once she had a boyfriend (despite me being single and still am). Shows off about relationship, work and when I bought a new house she did and when I had the better car she got a new one and sent me photos straight away.

She already dislikes her new house after a year (hers a in build) and mine was a fixer upper and it’s taken a year to get a majority of mine done.

I suggested doing a Christmas meal in December with her and mutual friend (not Christmas Day) and she said no she didn’t want to host that and then I said no it’s fine I’ll have it at mine as she’s not seen it yet and it will be nice for her to not have to host for once.

Immediately she’s said no no it’s fine we’ll have it at mine or go out Confused - her excuse being she’s has a puppy to look after and her boyfriend will be away ... but then surely she couldn’t go out to a restaurant either.

I genuinely don’t get the jealousy, on paper she has the better life and she barely even knows what my house looks like apart from the kitchen.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 03/10/2021 19:39

It sounds like you're as bad as each other tbh.

WandaVision2 · 03/10/2021 19:45

It all sounds a little childish

suspiria777 · 03/10/2021 19:45

when I bought a new house she did and when I had the better car she got a new one

Given it takes at least six months and considerable expense to buy a property, and literally YEARS to save enough for a deposit, i suspect the timing is coincidence. You sound very self-centred and it seems like you don't really like your friend.

Original poster
obsessedwithcouchguy · 03/10/2021 19:52

@suspiria777

when I bought a new house she did and when I had the better car she got a new one

Given it takes at least six months and considerable expense to buy a property, and literally YEARS to save enough for a deposit, i suspect the timing is coincidence. You sound very self-centred and it seems like you don't really like your friend.

It doesn’t take years to save for a deposit. She sold her house and bought a new one and moved into the property in about 5 months.

I actually had a rusted pile of junk for a car that the window didn’t even go down. When it got to the point that the cost of fixing it I could buy a new car then I did. Once she saw I had a new car she went on and on about what car she wanted to get now.

OP posts:
Original poster
obsessedwithcouchguy · 03/10/2021 19:55

@WandaVision2

It all sounds a little childish
Probably is. But I don’t know, all I wanted to do was cook a meal for friends and she kept saying she’s not seen my house yet.

Just the other way around if she invited me to a meal at her I wouldn’t insist that we have it at mine instead or we go out. I’d just say yea I can go or no I can’t and would you like me to bring anything.

OP posts:
Shelddd · 03/10/2021 19:58

@girlmom21

It sounds like you're as bad as each other tbh.
What do you mean? I don't understand this? Are you the friend from the OP?
WorraLiberty · 03/10/2021 19:59

Well you certainly sound as though you want her to be jealous of you but from what you've said, there's little indication of it.

WRT the restaurant, I expect she'd spend a lot less time there than she would at your house, so the puppy would be less of a problem.

Getyourownback · 03/10/2021 20:09

Cue people being vile to the OP for no real reason. 🙄

Teeturtle · 03/10/2021 20:24

Nothing you have said sounds like jealousy to me.

Tubbytele · 03/10/2021 20:24

Why is everyone being rude to OP?
Anyways, trust your instinct OP. If she continues being this way, will you decide to stop your friendship?

girlmom21 · 03/10/2021 20:27

@Shelddd it reads to me as though they're as competitive as each other.

Leeds2 · 03/10/2021 20:36

If it were me, I would jump at the chance of her offering to host!!

If you really want host, offer a couple of dates to your friends in January, and do one of those. Just remember that the friend you are talking about may refuse to come!

WorraLiberty · 03/10/2021 20:44

I suggested doing a Christmas meal in December with her and mutual friend (not Christmas Day) and she said no she didn’t want to host that and then I said no it’s fine I’ll have it at mine as she’s not seen it yet and it will be nice for her to not have to host for once.

"It will be nice for her to not have to host for once"

That ^^ implies she always ends up hosting. Do you think she's annoyed that you're only offering to host now to show off your house?

Newmumatlast · 03/10/2021 22:29

@WorraLiberty

I suggested doing a Christmas meal in December with her and mutual friend (not Christmas Day) and she said no she didn’t want to host that and then I said no it’s fine I’ll have it at mine as she’s not seen it yet and it will be nice for her to not have to host for once.

"It will be nice for her to not have to host for once"

That ^^ implies she always ends up hosting. Do you think she's annoyed that you're only offering to host now to show off your house?

To be fair, OP only.offered to host after friend said she didnt want to host. Friend then 180d.

Tbh if friend is annoyed because she thinks OP wants to show off her house that is odd. Never would I assume a friend was only offering hosting to show off. And tbh if friend did think that, why care enough to prevent it by insisting hosting or going out? It's all a bit odd

TaraR2020 · 03/10/2021 22:44

@Getyourownback

Cue people being vile to the OP for no real reason. 🙄
Indeed

Jealous behaviour occurs at any age, op, sounds like she's insecure. Probably only a problem if a) you can't see past it or b) she's one of those friends who only want to be friends because your bad luck makes them feel better about themselves

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