Is it normal to think constantly, or even regularly, about your own death?

[QuimReaper]

I don't think I'm having a crisis or anything, but I think about dying a lot. At one point I even fantasised about hiring a hit man for myself so my family would think it was just a random gun death.

My life is wonderful really. But if not for my mum and sister I wonder if I would carry on with it.

Is it just me?

For me, this kind of thinking is a sign that things aren't quite right with my mental health. Not exactly intrusively per se but more than would be the norm. It's a pretty good barometer actually.

You say your life is great but then in the same breath that you wonder if you'd carry on if not for your mum and sister. If you're thinking these things 'calmly' it can be harder to recognise as part of being unwell as you're not overtly distressed. It's easy to let it become part of your norm, but important to acknowledge that this type of thought pattern is a classic symptom of depression. I think you need to have a chat with your GP really.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the spring. Whilst waiting for the test results to find out 'which one and how far' I did think about death a lot. To my surprise I felt quite calm about it being my time - only thing that frightened me was that my children are still (young) teenagers. The thought of them loosing a parent so young was so most hurtful. Thankfully, my breast cancer was non invasive and most treatable kind.

You say you are not having a crisis point, but if it were not for your mum and your sister you wouldn't bother. This sounds at odds with your 'wonderful life'. That sounds very sad, I know it's a cliché but have you considered talking to someone about this?

If it doesn't bother you then loads of people have strange thoughts. Whenever I am high up or get the tube I think I'll just jump! No idea why.

However the fact you say you only go on because of family means it's more than that.

Intrusive thoughts/ thinking all the time about dying and importantly that you can't because of family.

Sounds like depression + anxiety (note I'm not a doc!).

Please go to doc and tell them.