I'm not his type on paper

[SlateCoaster]

I have dark brown hair and brown eyes.

My OH's last partner has blonde hair and blue eyes. The ex before her also has blonde hair and blue eyes.
I recently got back in contact with an old friend who knows another of my OH's exes... you guessed it... that ex has blonde hair and green eyes.
Also, my OH's mother passed away this year and not to long ago I was helping him move some of her belongings and we found some photo albums. There were some holiday snaps of him and yet another blonde haired ex.

We're both in our 40's and I can't help but think that my OH doesn't find me as attractive as his blonde haired, blue/green eyed exes and he's just settled for me. AIBU to worry about this? Should I just bleach my hair and be done with it?!

You're being ridiculous. Don't let something so silly spoil your relationship. If he wasn't attracted to you, he wouldn't be with you.

But none of the people that he's fine out with that are 'his type' have lasted. So were maybe more likely to be based on looks rather than anything more important.

Which indicates to me that what he sees in you is less superficial, and might have more of a chance of working out.

He wouldn’t be with you if he wasn’t attracted to you. Even if you have a physical ‘type’, most humans are not so two dimensional that they can only be attracted to one very specific look. Attraction is multi layered and also changes through your life.

YABU and very insecure!

I think it's much better than to be his usual type, you have something special about you that attracted him to you.

Oh bless your heart!

On paper my DH is absolutely not my type (he's not French for a start ) but I love him more than chocolate.

My type on paper is very tall and dark. None of the men I’ve had serious relationships with have looked like that.

Frankly, there is enough blondes in the world that if he wanted one, he could find one not "settle" for brunette...

Don't let it bother you. He has picked you for a reason. My dp is the same. All his ex's bar one (who was Italian and drop dead gorgeous apparently 🙄) were all blonde/strawberry blonde, really tall (5'7 plus)with straight hair (he loves long legs and straight haired curvy girls with blonde/copper hair) he has settled for me. Short (5'2) dark curly hair, pale and skinny. I am the complete opposite of his type. In fact no feature of mine is his preference yet he still decided it's me he loves. Like your dp has clearly decided he thinks your his type now.

Why don't you just say to him, hey, all your exes are blondes, what made you fall in love with a brunette?

It's fishing for a compliment, but it sounds like your self-image needs it, and I'm sure he'll be happy to tell you.

Don't let these little unspoken worries fester and get you down. Just communicate.

My dh is not my type on paper but I find him more attractive than anyone else on the planet.

Talk to him and he will reassure you.

Thanks ladies. I'm not normally this insecure, but was having an off day yesterday and it started playing on my mind.

I suppose, if I flip it, my OH isn't exactly my type on paper either, but my previous ex is.. and I find my OH much more attractive than him. I guess emotions and feelings play a lot more or a role than I was giving them credit for yesterday.

Every single boyfriend or partner I had before my dh was short and dark and very muscular. That was most definitely my type. Dh is 6'2 and (was) blond and blue eyed. And weve been married for coming up 30 years.

I am literally the opposite of DHs usual physical type but he still married me 😂