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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving school 10 minutes early each week for swimming lesson

114 replies

PattyPower · 02/10/2021 15:05

Hi all

Just wondering if it’s unreasonable to ask headmistress if I can pick up my year 2 DC 10 mins early for a swim lesson every week? He is academically able but is very unsure in the water.

He has been having some 1-2-1s with a swim teacher he loves and is getting his confidence - it would be a shame to stop. Unfortunately she now only has availability at 3.30pm - which would mean DC pickup at 3.05. Normally DC finishes at 3.15 and is in playground for pickup.

Weekend lessons seem to be booked solid...

I think it wouldn’t be that unreasonable but really grateful for thoughts. Thanks!

OP posts:
Dguu6u · 02/10/2021 15:50

@AudTheDeepMinded

If kids can have musical instrument lessons in school time, why can't the same apply to swimming, arguably a far more valuable life skil.
It’s already part of the curriculum, they need to be able to swim before they leave key stage 2
Dguu6u · 02/10/2021 15:51

Never hurts to ask! Just go for it, the worst that can happen is that’ll say no

modgepodge · 02/10/2021 15:55

I have a child who disappears in the middle of one of my lesson every week and reappears an hour later, as she goes off for tennis lessons! Also all the music lessons which lead to kids disappearing for 20mins/half an hour. 10 mins at the end of the day would be far less disruptive than this. Assuming your child can pack their bag and get them self to the office independently and doesn’t need the teachers help with this. The last 10 mins of the day is mostly packing up and stuff anyway.

RahRahRa · 02/10/2021 15:55

No book lessons outside school hours…imagine if everyone did this!

DeepaBeesKit · 02/10/2021 15:56

Yabu. Get your name on waiting lists for after school and weekend lessons, slots come up regularly. He is only 6 and it sends the message to a child that school is optional if you've somewhere you'd rather be. School really won't like it either

Frazzled2207 · 02/10/2021 15:56

In isolation it’s not a big issue but the problem is other parents might want to do similar. Then there might be significant disruption.

Woeismethischristmas · 02/10/2021 15:58

Our school would allow this. Swimming is on the curriculum but I think they do it in P6 for a term and only for kids who are below stage 4 in the swimming levels. It’s not unusual for kids to scoot off early for extra curricular stuff at all.

Suprima · 02/10/2021 15:59

@PattyPower

Thanks for all the comments much appreciated - I think the consensus is it’s U so that’s good to know. Appreciate how it might be disruptive to other children obviously don’t want that.

I didn’t think it was too ridiculous but possibly unreasonable ;)

Thanks to poster who suggested 20 mins good idea may do that so he has continuity.

Thanks again all for taking the time x

People answering aren’t teachers

It won’t be disrupting any lessons at all. That will be getting-ready-to-go-home time. He’ll miss story time and the chaos of collecting forms and sheets to go home, at worse.

If your head is sensible they will permit it.

Suprima · 02/10/2021 16:00

@PattyPower you will have to vow to keep it to yourself though and no ‘spreading the word’

Swimming is a vital skill and this won’t be for very long

DelphiniumBlue · 02/10/2021 16:05

It's a pain for the school to deal with children leaving at odd times - someone has to remind them, or answer the phone saying the parent is there, then make sure they have all their stuff, and then escort them to the pick-up point. That means stopping what they are doing and doing it at some other time. If there is only one adult in the class, it's even more of a pain, and frankly unmanageable in some schools due to their layout, as children can't move around unescorted because of site restrictions.
You will know whether this is an issue at your child's school.
For older children it's not quite so annoying as they should be able to sort themselves out- for 8 and under it's really quite disruptive for the whole class.

ivykaty44 · 02/10/2021 16:08

for sport it maybe possible?

my dd trained for sport with a national sporting body on occasional days, at secondary school they allowed this time away as its considered important and isn't classed as absence by government

no harm in asking

poppy1973 · 02/10/2021 16:10

Well, you could probably do it once, but say they have an appointment instead of a swimming lesson.

You can't really take the child out of school every week, most people just wait for after school lessons or wait until a slot comes up on the weekend.

Shellfishblastard · 02/10/2021 16:10

No - it’s sets a precedent.

Just go on the waiting list for the teacher. A slot will become available at some point

ivykaty44 · 02/10/2021 16:11

No - it’s sets a precedent.

for what?

MajorCarolDanvers · 02/10/2021 16:14

Sorry but yes it's U

What if everyone did this?

Viviennemary · 02/10/2021 16:15

No. I don't think you can tempting though it might be. . Once this is allowed it will set a precedent. Never hesrd of this being allowed as a regular thing.

blackteaplease · 02/10/2021 16:17

This would be allowed at my dcs school. In fact I collected dd early for 2 years for ballet until she moved up a class. Half the kids go ealry on buses (rural school) so there is already disruption at that time.

waybill · 02/10/2021 16:18

There's no harm in asking. Explain the situation, and the reasons for it, and let the school decide. They can either say yes or no.

My dd left early once a week for a year to get to elite dance training class, which was some distance away. The school was fine about it and very suportive, and none of the other parents or kids really noticed, or if they did, no-one ever said anything to me.

EmpressSuiko · 02/10/2021 16:22

I think it’s worth asking, worse case scenario is them saying no and if that’s the case then I’d ask the swim instructor if you can do 20 minute lessons instead of 30.

Smartiepants79 · 02/10/2021 16:22

@ChoporNot

No. Just no. Where does the school draw the line? Swimming? Vital football training? Art class? Bonding with Granny in John Lewis Cafe....

Loads of things are more convenient during school work hours. But life does not work that way.

As PP have said, wait for a suitable slot. Take them swimming yourself weekly to ensure they continue to practice and build confidence.

Just no.

I agree with this. School hours are set. Like work hours. Are you allowed to regularly leave your job early to go and do a hobby?? I’m also a teacher and this would infuriate me. What if all my class suddenly decided that school didn’t quite suit them? What if Joe need to leave 15 minutes early for his drumming lesson and then, well if he can do that why shouldn’t Sheila be allowed to leave 20 minutes early for her ballet class? Your child may be your whole world but in many senses he is not different or special. He is one of maybe hundreds in his school. The system still applies to you. It utterly undermines the importance of school.
leavesthataregreen · 02/10/2021 16:22

I think YABU. The last few minutes of the school day are when important information is handed out - birthday invitations, forms to be signed, homework assignations.

Swimming is vital, but that slot doesn't work for you. Find another teacher or take him yourself. I taught DS2, aged 13 to swim in a few months just by going once a week. Lessons had never worked for him and he was very insecure in the water but he went from half a length to a kilometre within a few months and ended the year swimming a mile. I was so proud of him.

godmum56 · 02/10/2021 16:25

yanbu to ask...it might go down better if you could be more definite about how many times you want to do this.

GreyhoundG1rl · 02/10/2021 16:25

@ivykaty44

No - it’s sets a precedent.

for what?

What do you think?!
Wondergirl100 · 02/10/2021 16:27

I think you SHOULD be able to - it's totally sensible and swimming is a life skill that has been made harder by covid.

but probably they will jsut say no because then everyone would ask. Which is a shame.

ballsdeep · 02/10/2021 16:29

Yes it's unreasonable. How would your DC get to the gate? It's disruptive

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