My DM was 80 earlier this year. She isn't easy to buy for (not many hobbies, interests). I got her a necklace and presented it to her. The day after she told me that she didn't like it and was giving it back to me (she didn't like it as she said it was too short and she likes a longer chain length). The design of the necklace meant that the chain couldn't be lengthened. When lockdown lifted my DF organised a party with friends and family and I had bought another necklace. I had specifically asked the jeweller for a long chain (18inch). The new necklace was duly presented and now yet again I'm told that the necklace is too short. I'd given her the gift certificate for the second necklace and the jeweller is local to her so not sure why she even needed to tell me that it wasn't right.
I just think that if you receive a gift then you accept it graciously and don't return it. She does have narc tendencies. I find that if she gives me a gift then I'm constantly asked why I'm not wearing it/haven't used it yet - it could be even the day after receiving the gift that I'm asked. Or if she gives me a gift it comes with an insult.
It's my birthday coming up and at this stage I'd just like to say that we don't need to bother with gift giving anymore.