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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to the theatre with a cold?

129 replies

blameitonthecaffeine · 02/10/2021 09:45

I have a theatre ticket for tonight.

I had Covid 3 weeks ago but wasn't ill. I think I caught it at the theatre (can't know for sure of course but I was sitting next to someone visibly ill and it was hit and crowded).

Now I have a cough and cold. Worse than covid was for me but nothing like bad enough to have given a second thought to pre Covid.

Half of me feels I should stay at home tonight. I was uncomfortable sitting next to the ill person and if I cough or sneeze while at the theatre, I don't want anyone else to feel that way. Even though I know it can't be Covid, they don't know that. And if they catch a cold, they'll have to go through the whole testing malarkey anyway.

The other me half of me thinks that theatre tickets aren't cheap, I'm well enough to go out and that we can't go round avoiding colds forever. If people are happy to be in a theatre they are probably well aware of and happy about the risks of catching a variety of bugs.

Which half would you listen to? YABU = stay at home. YANBU = go to the theatre.

OP posts:
FlyingScott · 02/10/2021 10:04

In any case have you checked the theatre website to see what their regulations are?
Most theatres will expect face coverings to be worn and for people with any symptoms not to attend.

Rainbowheart1 · 02/10/2021 10:04

Imagine sneezing in a theatre….all eyes on you!!

Happens when I go to the shop, someone sneezes and everyone just looks at them! Imagine if you can’t leave as in a theatre and someone hears you sneeze TWICE! 😳

Lanique · 02/10/2021 10:05

I have a snotty, coughy cold and I really wouldn't wish to inflict myself upon others right now.

Holskey · 02/10/2021 10:05

Yabu. Nothing to do with Covid. So annoying sat next to someone coughing and snotting, and if you're a considerate person, you'll feel too self conscious to enjoy it anyway.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/10/2021 10:08

“MrsSkylerWhite - totally agree that a constant cough would be extremely annoying. But I'm talking about a normal cough and cold. As in, may or may not cough or sneeze in a 2 hour window. Not, will certainly cough and sneeze multiple times in that 2 hour window“

Nope, you are still BU. Change your ticket. If you can’t, one of those things.

Abraxan · 02/10/2021 10:09

If you have a cough, don't go.

It's not just a covid risk - it's to do with how much interruption and disturbance you will cause. The people sat right near to you are going to have their evening spoilt by not hearing everything due to you coughing and sneezing throughout the show.

You also say that you felt uncomfortable sat next to an ill person. Why make others feel the same as you did?

To be honest, this is just about common courtesy not covid.

Abraxan · 02/10/2021 10:12

And yes, I've just had a caught - caught at school. Numerous LFTs and two PCRs say not covid, 'just' a cold. I've had nearly two weeks of feeling rubbish, coughing, sore throat, sore eyes, sore head. There are some horrid colds going round. I wouldn't want to spread it and I'd be annoyed at someone sitting next to be at a social event (not essential, not like it's work place etc) and giving me a nasty cold bug.

Gardenlass · 02/10/2021 10:13

I wouldn't go.

seaandsandcastles · 02/10/2021 10:15

Yes, YABU. It’s unfortunate but it’s not fair for you to make other people uncomfortable and ill.

ViceLikeBlip · 02/10/2021 10:16

I don't think I'd be able to cope with all the inevitable death stares. But I'd pissed off to forfeit expensive tickets because of a cold!
Surely there will be plenty of people in a similar position- either they had covid within the last 3 months, or they've had a negative pcr after developing this particular cold?

But then again, I work in a school, and all the kids are snotty and coughing atm (some have had negative pcrs, some haven't bothered). And for younger people I feel like it's really important they DO get exposed to common illnesses as normal. So my perception might be a bit skewed.

FWBNC · 02/10/2021 10:17

I don't think you should go. Can you get your ticket refunded if you're say, waiting for results from a PCR test?!

There are some selfish people on here saying not to let how other people feel affect you. I wonder how they were dragged brought up!

Ponoka7 · 02/10/2021 10:17

"You can get covid twice in 3 weeks, there’s different variants. The rest advice is for LTF not PCR"

Could you link to that information, I can remember Chris Whitty saying the opposite. It's why the vaccine still works because the core of the virus isn't different. The other parts makes it more vaccine resistant, but not completely in anyone under 55.

HidingFromDD · 02/10/2021 10:18

I think Covid is a red herring here. I have two family members who would be severely ill if they caught a virus like that. They take as many precautions as they can, but I do think we should be more considerate when going out and about with very obvious nasty viruses. You wouldn't go to the theatre with noro would you? We do need to learn to live with Covid and other viruses, but going out and about with minimal exposure to others (eg essential shopping) is very different from sitting next to someone for two hours when you know you're exposing them to something and they have no ability to move away

kindlyensure · 02/10/2021 10:21

when are we ever going to act normally around each other again?!

This - it should absolutely be normal NOT to go to the theatre when you have a heavy cold.

I go to the theatre a lot and this is my bugbear - people coughing and sneezing. It's unhygienic, distracting and just unpleasant for those around you who want to concentrate and enjoy the play and can't move away from you.

I was at the theatre the other week and the lady sitting next to me cheerfully said 'excuse me if I cough. I just want to reassure you, it isn't Covid, just a cold."

Um, thanks a lot. I no more want you coughing next to me then I do covid, so stay at home please.

You could ask the theatre for a credit note or a refund. Depending on the theatre, some do (the National Theatre is excellent for this for e.g.).

ViceLikeBlip · 02/10/2021 10:22

Also, I'm not sure we're in a place where people should feel terrified of going out in public just in case they cough once or twice in the space of 2 hours? I mean of course no one wants to sit next to someone with a streaming cold, red eyes, bundled up in a scarf, constantly coughing etc. But "a bit snotty, but might easily go through the whole 2 hour performance without coughing at all"? That doesn't sound like a social pariah level of illness to me.

KrisAkabusi · 02/10/2021 10:22

@WhereYouLeftIt

Don't go. Put covid to one side completely - it's something of a red herring.

Someone sitting in a theatre coughing is, and always has been, a complete pain in the arse for everyone else there. Ditto sneezing. Sniffing. Just don't go.

This, 100%. In normal times it's a dickish thing to do, now it's very antisocial. Whoever is sitting near you will not be happy!
OhWhyNot · 02/10/2021 10:23

Wear a mask

Since when has having a cold or cough stopped us from going about our business

I’ve had terrible cold/hacking cough this week have still been out and about and at work (PCR tested negative and a number of lateral flow tests) I had one day off as felt unwell too as was coughing to much

If you are coughing constantly then you probably won’t feel up to going if just general cold with some coughing go

Lots of colds around at the moment

HangOnToYourself · 02/10/2021 10:25

I have really bad asthma and a few years back I ended up in hospital with pneumonia brought on by the flu, since then almost any cold I get tends to turn into a chest infection which obviously causes me a lot of suffering due to my asthma. So just please bear in mind that what seems like just a cold to you can be very unpleasant for some others, if you have a heavy cold please try not to spread it around

ilovesooty · 02/10/2021 10:25

Stay at home.

HalzTangz · 02/10/2021 10:25

Why do you assume your symptoms are a cold and not covid? Are you basing this on testing positive 3 Weeks ago? Have you considered that result may have been a false positive and you actually might have covid now?

Have you done an LFT?

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 02/10/2021 10:26

If you feel well enough to go about your daily life, then go. Everyone else going will surely be big enough and ugly enough to make the decision to go , given the risk of Covid/coughs/colds etc they have enough info to make their own informed choice. Up to you, up to them.

Skinnytailedsquirrel · 02/10/2021 10:26

Don't be selfish. Of course you cannot go. Grrrr....some people are unbelievable.

greenlynx · 02/10/2021 10:26

I would also think how tiring it might be for you. I suppose you’ll need travel to the theatre, maybe talking to whoever you are with in intervals, etc. Maybe staying at home will help to feel better by Monday. Yes, we shouldn’t pause life forever but sometimes we need to pause for one weekend rather than feel awful for weeks and weeks.

HalzTangz · 02/10/2021 10:27

You can get covid more than once, and covid can last week's and weeks

toomuchlaundry · 02/10/2021 10:28

I bet everyone loved you @OhWhyNot, spreading your germs

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