AIBU to wonder if there is something really wrong with me?

[sundaydayisnotmyfundayday]

I am a fairly decent person I have always thought. Sarcasm as a defence mechanism but I am kind and honest and loyal.
But right now I feel so bloody lonely because I appear to have no friends. I cannot seem to connect with people on that level.

I did have 1 but I moved 150 miles away about 10 years ago and of course our lives have moved in different directions. That's ok, I understand that this was probably bound to happen. It wasn't too bad before the pandemic, but in the last year or so she has completely withdrawn to the point where she doesn't even interact with me on social media.
I have sisters who are local. They tend to spend time together though and I don't really get invited along because I work full time hours - or at least I hope that's the reason. I would ask but I suspect it would be viewed as a bit dramatic on my part and I don't want to cause ill feeling.

I have 2 kids at home and a husband and my job so my days are pretty full but every now and again I just get hit with the reminder that nobody outside my family home really wants to spend time with me and it makes me feel so sad. I don't know what I have done wrong to end up nearly 40 and billy no mates?

So you have two kids and a job, these are common routes to making friends. What happens when you see parents at school or colleagues at work? Do you say hello, make polite conversation?

I think having no or few friends is more common than you might think. However I also think it’s something most people have to work at a bit when they meet new people, make an effort to chat, suggest coffee etc. Do you do these things?

I mean all this kindly, I’m trying to help not blame.

Well I work from home so I don't get the chance to physically see anyone. I do have colleagues I am friendly with but we all live hundreds of miles from each other so there is no way to easily meet up. As for school, I unfortunately have to get a neighbour to do the school run because of my shifts (I pay her to do this as I really need to be able to rely on it to keep my job) so I don't see anyone at the school gates - that said even when I did there was nobody I felt I could ask for coffee. I tried a couple of times but they already had plans.
I did try to find new people by joining a couple of the meet a mum apps but that seems to be mainly new Mums with babies looking for mums of kids a similar age (totally get it and wish this was a thing when mine were tiny!)

Maybe I just need to be told to grow up and get on with it all. I am usually ok but every now and again the panic sets in that this is it, I am just never going to have a social circle as it were.

Before I had children I made friends through a knitting group (it was a trendy London one that met in pubs). Do you have any hobbies that you could join groups for?

Or when you invite your children’s friends over just ask the other Mum if they want to pop in for a quick coffee. I think you just have to keep asking and not let it get to you when people turn you down.

Also take up every opportunity, class Mums’ night out, PTA, quiz night etc.

I don't really have hobbies, I enjoy going to the theatre or the cinema but I tend to go alone because I don't know anyone who would want to go.

I like the idea of asking mums of ds' school friends to stop for a coffee though, thank you. I will try that. It's so hard to shrug off when they say no, I wish I could!!

I joined the PTA but was never invited to anything and to my knowledge there is no social aspect from the mums at school although I'm not sure how I would hear about it if there was?

Hi Op
What about Meetup? There are lots of groups for cinema and theatre. Just search your local area and put in things that interest you. Lots or people in the same position. Or you could always start your own group!

I forgot to say in my previous post that there is nothing wrong with you. Making friends is hard especially as an adult that’s why there are so many lonely people out there. Sometimes I worry about friendships but my husband always says to me ‘you have everything you need within these four walls’ and it is true - friendships are just a lovely bonus.

@ShesComeUndone

I forgot to say in my previous post that there is nothing wrong with you. Making friends is hard especially as an adult that’s why there are so many lonely people out there. Sometimes I worry about friendships but my husband always says to me ‘you have everything you need within these four walls’ and it is true - friendships are just a lovely bonus.

Thanks. I love the sentiment and I try to feel like that. I just feel like I need the company of other women sometimes I suppose.