@Kneesaregood sorry for the delay in reply.
Basically in relation to using clinical psychologists or psychiatrists who specialise in developmental trauma, there have been developments in the last decade in relation to developmental trauma which your average therapist or social worker wouldn't be aware of. The sort of therapy and also the environment suitable for a looked after child will depend on their specific experiences - and so getting that input right from the outset is crucial, I think, even if it is initially guidance about a child's specific needs. For example - where the trauma occurred at the time the limbic brain developed, the therapy would be different from where the trauma occurred at say age 10 or 11 in an otherwise securely attached child – this is just two examples – there would be many other potential scenarios - the initial therapeutic work for each would look very different. A clinical psychologists specialising in developmental trauma will be aware of the problems with communicating with children who are unable to trust adults, or attachment problems, and understand how that fits in with other aspects of the child's developmental trauma, and would be able to explain how the caregiver, school, doctor, everyone in the child's life need to work together right from the outset. It quite possibly wouldn't involve talking therapy at the outset.
I think that trying to get them settled in a placement first, without getting professional input, is putting the cart before the horse. Where things are done the right way round, the outcomes will be different.
The idea that children put their parents on a pedestal is not really understood either, I don't think. The children you are talking about here will love their (biological) parents, even if their parents are not great parents, and they will want to see their parents, but they will still
be capable of understanding that their parents were not great parents – the two things go hand in hand. I think that the problems arise because of really poor communication with children, a certain amount of incompetence, and a real lack of understanding of how these children feel and why their home life was as it was from the vast majority of people involved including social workers which is the problem. The reason why they may resist being put into care is because even without abuse, they will be living day on day with micro aggressions, from other kids, from staff or foster carers who aren't up to the job, without any escape or any let up, and it is really, really tough on a child. But fundamentally, a child can love their parents and want to see them at the same time as recognising that they were not caring for them properly and suggesting it is putting them on a pedestal is not helpful, in my experience.
You mentioned adults not yet being able to delve into things – I know similar adults – basically, if they had had the sort of help which some children get to learn to process and come to terms with things as they happened, they wouldn't nearly so much to delve into, I think (based on my own experiences). Does that make sense? It isn't so much that these things cannot be delved into, it is more that if they have been left a long time memories are fractured, multiple losses and trauma will have been tangled up, there is a lot more to unravel – this doesn't happen where children are taught to process and deal with things from the outset, whatever has happened in their early life.
I have also known adults who have taken advantage of current therapies in relation to old trauma or intergenerational trauma, and vastly improved their happiness levels! The problem is partly that not everyone knows what help is available, and partly that there is not enough expertise to go round, possibly.
Understanding intergenerational trauma is also key to understanding why families fail and with that understanding could come better prevention.
Something I do want to say here is that despite my having come to terms with things and gone on to do well, and despite having had a pretty good and stable adult life, and despite my story not being nearly as bad as some others, including that of an older sibling, I still find the memories incredibly upsetting - in my case it was certainly out of the frying pan into the fire and I don't think I am unusual. I spent a decade as a LAC and quite honestly if I think back it is still like some horror experience - and as I said, I don't think my experiences were nearly as bad as others' experiences.
In summary, there are ways to help children with early life trauma and difficult home lives much, much better than before, but I do not think it is happening in practice.