People who keep complaining/moaning

[Starling57]

I have a friend who I have known years. She is a complainer/moaner. Every time I see her there’s something wrong. It doesn’t matter what advice I try to give or how I try to help there’s always a negative response from her. Lately I’ve had problems of my own. I tried to tell her about how I’ve been feeling and I caught her rolling her eyes at me. I just lost it and ended up storming out of her house. She’s been messaging huge messages starting with I’m sorry but…. followed by how upset she was, her car has exploded, her cat is at the vets etc etc moan, moan, moan. I’ve ignored them all and honestly, I just don’t want to speak to her. I feel so drained after being in her company. AIBU for not contacting her?

She's not a friend. She just like having you there to listen to her moan.

Rolling your eyes is a sign of contempt. She literally showed you she thinks she is more important than you and you should know your place as her emotional support sidekick.

Fuck that. End of friendship.

That sounds so hard. I had a friend like that who would constantly complain and fret aloud about her life. I eventually told her in a tense convo to get therapy as it sounds like she is havin a really hard time and needs to talk about it. she was surprised as didnt realise. Said it was draining. She was a bit off with me but now things are much better. So suggest therapy? And also my tactic is i really listen and sympathise without interjecting for about 10 mins at the start of seeing her and then just divert the convo, without feeling bad, if she brings it up again

Jeez. End of friendship? Thats dramatic. Dont you give ppl a chance before throwing them over? Just talk about it like adults and hopefully have a better relatiomshio afterwards

Wow, she’s rude. Just reiterate that you’re sick of listening to her moaning and that rolling her eyes at you is bloody rude.

Why are women so often "friends" with people they don't like? Is it related to the phenomenon of women telling us how violent, stupid and sexually incontinent their partners are, and also how wonderful?

You don't need her as a friend. Block & Delete as they say.

If you don't, you know that it will always be the same again... Why be friends with someone who does not have your back or have time for you when you need it?

If she's said 'Im sorry, I should have listened. I want to help' fair enough, but she just tried to continue her moaning & suck you dry via text.

Who can be arsed with that?

Oh god. I think this is me. My car exploded this week, and my cat is at the vets.
Except I haven’t seen any of my friends.
I hope it’s not me

I'm rubbish at decluttering objects, but I do have a Marie Kondo approach to friendships - if they don't bring me joy...

Obviously everyone goes through rough patches, and I'll support friends through that, but when it's a permanent "me, me, me" situation, sometimes you have to accept it's unlikely to change and step back.

I would have to reply to her and say that I felt I had been a good friend over the years, listening to all her problems with patience and understanding. I was therefore very very hurt to see her reaction (ie eye rolling) to the one time when I needed to tell her about my own problems and how I was feeling.

Then I would not bother with her again.

No you're not. It sounds like a one sided friendship. You need a physical and mental break. Some people are too comfortable offloading all of their problems without a second thought for the person who is listening. You're not only there for her gain.