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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think just let them out

29 replies

Mamx3x · 01/10/2021 16:57

DS is in year 12 (sixth form) within a school. And has just received this email (all the schools emails are automatically sent to me as well as he logged in his school account to my phone once).

“Good afternoon,

Please could I remind you that your ID cards will only open the door at reception at break time and lunch time. If you need to leave the building at any other time you must see a member of the 6th form team to obtain an exit pass. Reception staff will not open the doors for you without an exit pass regardless of how much you harass them.

You should not, under any circumstances, start banging on the doors or shouting at the reception staff. Anyone who behaves in this manner will have the access permissions on their cards revoked and may face further sanctions.
To be clear, you cards will only work between
(Time) (break)

(Time) (lunch)

If you have any questions regarding this, please see me in the 6th form office.

Kind regards
(Name)”

While I certainly agree that no one should be rude to anyone I can also imagine the frustration if you had a doctors appointment or something and then the receptionist refusing to let you out likely meaning you were late. Many of these kids have part time jobs, drive ect and some are legally adults (being 18). Aibu to think that needing a pass is absolutely ridiculous and the office staff should just have let them out.

OP posts:
Seeline · 01/10/2021 17:03

If they had a drs appointment or something, presumably a pass would have been given. We have to request approval for such things at least 24 hours in advance (unless emergency, when presumably not in school anyway). School need to keep track of where students are in case of fire etc.

My DDs sixth form, also attached to a school has the same rules although they aren't allowed out at break, just lunch.

HollowTalk · 01/10/2021 17:03

But isn't it part of the sixth form rules that the pupils keep school hours? They can't have them wandering in and out - it's a safeguarding issue. If he wants to just be there for lessons, then he should be in a college instead.

Seeline · 01/10/2021 17:04

Actually, by the time of that email, I would assume that many students have been abusing the system, not just the poor receptionists.

MattHancocksSexTape · 01/10/2021 17:06

Delete your sons emails from your phone. What a massive invasion of privacy.

Seeline · 01/10/2021 17:06
  • tone, not time
Eaumyword · 01/10/2021 17:06

Yabu - the tone of that letter suggests that students have been rude/abusive towards staff who are probably just following the rules that have been set.
Despite being in 6th form, students will still need to sign in and out of school for safeguarding and fire reasons.
If a student has a dental appointment for example, surely they or a parent should advise school in advance and this planned exit from school would be fine.
I'm not sure I agree students should come and go at will - free periods are for study surely?
Also - I'd feel a bit sorry for the poor office staff having to get up every 5min to let students in or out! School doors are usually set to buzzer entry to stop crazies getting in.

Eaumyword · 01/10/2021 17:08

Sorry, my slow typing! Just seen others making the same points!

ImNotDancing · 01/10/2021 17:10

Seems perfectly reasonable of the school as far as I’m concerned

RichardMarxisinnocent · 01/10/2021 17:11

I have idea how such an arrangement would have worked at my school when I was in 6th form. It had 6 different actual buildings, plus at least 4 mobile classrooms. We had lessons in several of them across the week so needed to be able to leave each building to get to either our next lesson, or the library if on a free period.

Rosebel · 01/10/2021 17:12

When we were in the 6th form we only had to be in for lessons so as soon as your class finished for the day you went home. You could also arrive late if you didn't have any early classes.
Obviously things have changed a lot. At 16 to 18 surely they don't need to be in school if there are no lessons. Seems silly but I guess those are the rules at your son's school.

CoRhona · 01/10/2021 17:12

You should not be seeing emails to students. What if he had a personal issue? Agree with pp, massive invasion of privacy.

pelosi · 01/10/2021 17:12

YANBU, that's ridiculous. One of the perks of sixth form is the relative freedom compared to the lower years, and students could certainly leave, as they were being trusted to manage their own timetable.

pelosi · 01/10/2021 17:13

@CoRhona

You should not be seeing emails to students. What if he had a personal issue? Agree with pp, massive invasion of privacy.
Not if her son knows and doesn't mind.
Strawbsaturno · 01/10/2021 17:15

Are they at a school based 6th form?
My 6th former is at a large campus like college and can come and go as he pleases in between lessons. They can go out at lunch etc. They don’t need to be there between set hours only attend when they have lessons. There’s late started snd early finishes. It’s not supposed to be as rigid as school.
Yes the do have very high academic standards and excellent alevel pass rates.

SuperstarDog · 01/10/2021 17:16

A reason my son chose college instead of school sixth form was because the ones attached to schools wanted them in for school hours rather than just when they had lessons. Was this in the rules before he joined? Was he under the impression they could leave at other times?
There are younger children at the school and they do need to keep them safe which I suppose is another reason they don’t want to be constantly letting students in and out, which isn’t an issue in a college where everyone is at least 16.

CoRhona · 01/10/2021 17:18

@pelosi it will also be against school policy.

Strawbsaturno · 01/10/2021 17:19

@CoRhona

You should not be seeing emails to students. What if he had a personal issue? Agree with pp, massive invasion of privacy.
Exactly. There’s posters making assumptions here. It depends if they opted to share communications between DS & parent. I know we had to opt in or out of arrangements like this.
AlternativePerspective · 01/10/2021 17:20

you shouldn’t have your adult son’s emails going to your phone.

I suspect that he may not be as ok with it as he might be saying, so many youngsters still have expectations placed on them by parents and find it hard to say no at this point.

Strawbsaturno · 01/10/2021 17:23

I quoted the wrong post. It’s an assumption to say you shouldn’t be receiving emails for your son, this may very well have been consented to upfront by both parent and child.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/10/2021 17:25

Well no one can come and go as they please on school premises Confused

Doors are locked for many reasons - people trying to come in, children trying to run off

Limejuiceandrum · 01/10/2021 17:30

Oh you’re one of those parents

Dixiechickonhols · 01/10/2021 17:38

I’d assume rules are student on site 8.45-4 and those are what students have signed up for. Rule is to potentially stop students bunking off.
From schools point of view they are in loco parentis. If parent thinks child in school and in fact child is at mates house at 2pm overdosing on drugs it’s a potential issue for school.
If teen wants a more relaxed experience a college with a come and go policy would suit better.
It’s like a job you can’t just walk out without telling someone you are off. Safety reasons too eg if fire alarm. If issue is staff can’t be found to authorise then that needs addressing as there will be genuine emergencies. Otherwise good practice for teen to get Dentist etc authorised in advance. They shouldn’t be working a job in day - obviously lots did at my college but it was a more relaxed set up than school (and they all ended up leaving or repeating a year due to missing too many classes)

cookingisoverrated · 01/10/2021 17:39

@HollowTalk

But isn't it part of the sixth form rules that the pupils keep school hours? They can't have them wandering in and out - it's a safeguarding issue. If he wants to just be there for lessons, then he should be in a college instead.
Nope, not true!

The joy of sixth form for many is that their daily hours do vary and they are there when they need to be, ie have class, an event, or want to study on site.

My sixth former would not put up with such treatment; nor should he.

MakingM · 01/10/2021 17:41

Well, that’s a bit prison-y. Year 12, that’s 16, 17 years old? Have to get a pass to leave a building during lesson time? These aren’t children. They’re old enough to consent to sexual relationships but not old enough to decided whether they leave a building?

No. That’s a whole other level of control freakery…just no.

WorraLiberty · 01/10/2021 17:44

If you need to leave the building at any other time you must see a member of the 6th form team to obtain an exit pass.

While I certainly agree that no one should be rude to anyone I can also imagine the frustration if you had a doctors appointment or something and then the receptionist refusing to let you out likely meaning you were late.

What do you think the exit passes are for then? Confused