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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think delivery driver was rude/strange?

33 replies

Lamont77 · 01/10/2021 15:52

Neighbours weren't in for their parcel, so delivery driver rang my doorbell (which is quiet in some parts of house so I guess I didn't hear it) then starts banging on the door.

I answer it. I have endometriosis, was in bed with pain today as period started. So was in a long dressing gown which completely covered me.

Anyway, he was really rude. Said 'oh, how are you today!? Did I wake you up!?' I said no, he asked it again twice. I said no. Then he said do you work nights, I didn't reply.

He said do you work night shift again and weirdly I just said yes so he would leave lol. He said are you a nurse or something!? I said no. He said where do you work? I lied and said supermarket (didn't want to tell him anything).

He said which supermarket? I lied and named a supermarket.

He then asked for my name (which I think is probably normal considering it isn't my parcel).

But why so many questions 🤦‍♀️ I didn't want to say oh I have endo, I'm in bed with hot water bottle and meds. Just so unnecessary, just give me the parcel and leave 😂 AIBU to think this is strange/rude?

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 01/10/2021 15:57

Just friendly or a serial killer ?? Hmmm

Thomasina79 · 01/10/2021 16:02

Horrible man, of course you wouldn’t want to discuss such private matters with him, but if you had I bet he would have run a mile!

MadeOfStarStuff · 01/10/2021 16:03

That’s really weird

It’s none of his business why you’re in a dressing gown and it’s very rude of him to comment on it.

LaetitiaASD · 01/10/2021 16:06

Sounds like harmless banter... albeit harmless banter that you would have every right to have a go at him about (WTF has it to do with him when you sleep and when you don't, and there's certainly something a bit judgey about "sorry I got you up" type comments).

It also sounds like he did an appalling job of recognizing that the banter wasn't wanted, and an appalling job of failing to recognise that maybe one or two sentences of banter are likely to be plenty in most cases, and that a woman in a dressing gown is probably not up for a long chat with a stranger who isn't even delivering a parcel to her.

Spindrifting · 01/10/2021 16:10

Yes, he was rude, but you contributed to the situation by inventing stuff and continuing a conversation you didn’t want rather than simply taking the parcel and shutting the door.

bruce43mydog · 01/10/2021 16:47

Some people just ask a lot of unesessery questions and don't know when to shut up.

tomorrowalready · 01/10/2021 16:59

I would be suspicious he was trying to find some way of getting into your house/finding out if you were alone. You'd have been justified in not answering in first place or being very short with him on your doorstep. It's your house, your time, doesn't matter if you are ill or like to sleep all day, you don't owe strangers any explanation. It's not funny or friendly, it is intrusive and rude and possibly dangerous.

merryhouse · 01/10/2021 17:21

I've found things have got a lot easier since I realised that I don't have to answer the question

If someone on the phone asked "how are you today" I would always give some non-commital answer but then I would be dragged in. Now (because only one type of caller asks that question) I simply ignore it say "we're not interested thankyou" and put the phone down.

It's harder on the doorstep, but I think you have to channel your inner misanthropist and say firmly "what do you want?" The thing to remember is that at no point does this person actually need to know the answer to his question in order to do the allotted task.

Original poster
Lamont77 · 01/10/2021 17:21

Thanks for everyone's replies.

It's nice to have my feelings validated by most of you. I wondered if I was just being over sensitive or overthinking. But he definitely seemed judgemental and bloody nosey. It was like he was trying to catch me out with questions (I could tell from his face he didn't believe my answers).

I think I lied because I felt judged for being in a dressing gown at 3pm, which is ridiculous because I'm a grown adult and can do what I want 🤦‍♀️ but I strangely felt the need to justify it to a complete stranger (mad, I know!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lamont77 · 01/10/2021 17:24

@merryhouse you're so right. It's strange that I felt it would be very awkward of me not to answer him, or that it was easier to answer than potentially get in an argument. But, I need to remind myself I don't owe anyone an explanation or an answer!

OP posts:
Mumoblue · 01/10/2021 17:27

Nah that was weird and pushy.

BlueberrySugar · 01/10/2021 17:28

What a weirdo!

Should've just said you're a lady of the night. See his reaction then.

Notaroadrunner · 01/10/2021 17:30

[quote Lamont77]@merryhouse you're so right. It's strange that I felt it would be very awkward of me not to answer him, or that it was easier to answer than potentially get in an argument. But, I need to remind myself I don't owe anyone an explanation or an answer![/quote]
And you also need to remind yourself that you don't need to answer the door in future unless you are expecting visitors. Fuck your neighbours delivery.

pelosi · 01/10/2021 17:32

YANBU, you don't have to answer him. Next time just say 'I don't want to say. Please don't being me neighbours' parcels'.

Original poster
Lamont77 · 01/10/2021 17:37

Thanks everyone. I do feel a bit silly that I replied to him, think I was just caught off-guard and wasn't ready for him/expecting to be questioned. I'll be prepared for any future weirdos at least Grin

OP posts:
Globaluser · 01/10/2021 17:46

No, he wasn’t, but you were for telling me this story.

pelosi · 01/10/2021 17:48

@Globaluser

No, he wasn’t, but you were for telling me this story.
I’m glad OP posted.
AlthoughTheyFlyByJumboJet · 01/10/2021 17:58

Maybe he thought he was making conversation, but I'd find that weird, too. I'd have told him I was feeling ill, since that's true and would probably shut him up and get him gone sooner! If I really wanted to get him on his way, maybe turn to the side and make a few gagging sounds... Wink

seaandsandcastles · 01/10/2021 18:27

Sounds like he was just being friendly 🤷‍♀️

Looubylou · 01/10/2021 18:45

It's the insistent repetition of the questions that is strange/creepy. An apologetic , "oh sorry! are you poorly and I've woke you up?" Would have seemed OK/appropriate even. We have the opposite - delivery drivers are ringing, putting the parcel on the ground, and have scuttled back to the van by the time we open the door.

ThinWomansBrain · 01/10/2021 18:56

most of the delivery drivers here are so fast they dump things in the main lobby and run! to be fair, they're polite if you do actually meet them.

Maybe he was feeling lonely or isolated - but does sound a bit creepy.
Think I'd have ended it with a "not feeling great", grabbed the parcel and said "bye"
Acocmpanied by a death stare for good measure. Usually puts people off of trying to make conversation.

WhatAShilohPitt · 01/10/2021 21:46

YANBU. None of his bloody business!

ClareBlue · 01/10/2021 21:49

It's not like there have been any people sick and recovering from illness at home over the last 18 months is it?
3pm, dressing gown, looking groggy not answering with any enthusiasm. I would guess at sickness, but it is not any of my business so just pass the parcel and leave.

TheCanyon · 01/10/2021 21:51

Was his name kev from dhl?

Mondaynightnamechange · 01/10/2021 21:53

He must be new to the job - otherwise it wouldn’t have even registered with him.