19 month old and new baby

[Vickyjo1986]

I had a baby 10 days ago and I already have a 19 month old and a 9 year old. The new baby was not planned and since before the birth I’ve been anxious about how I’m going to cope. Following the birth my anxiety has been off the scale, mainly surrounding my toddler. As much as she seems to be fascinated with her baby sister her behaviour has completely changed since her arrival. I expected some upheaval but I feel like I’ve completely turned her little world upside down.
She seems to spend most of the day moaning and crying over anything and everything or being generally destructive. I assume it’s to try and win back some of the attention. So far my tactics have been :-
Trying to get her involved as much as possible
Positive reinforcement when she behaves well
Having as much one to one time as possible
Keeping her routine as close as it was before
Using special toys etc when I need to occupy her whilst feeding.
Does anybody have any great words of wisdom for me as to how I can help her transition?
I’m hoping the anxiety is hormonal and short lived but the thought of being on my own with them both once my partner finishes paternity terrifies me.
She was also previously an awful sleeper but I managed to sleep train her just in time for the new arrival. I’m dreading her sleep being setback due to the upheaval and find myself sick with worry most nights and at nap times that she won’t sleep. Completely pointless I know! Sorry for sounding like such a nervous wreck but fortunately prior to now I’ve never suffered with anxiety so it’s all very unnerving for me.
Thanks in advance

She seems to spend most of the day moaning and crying over anything and everything or being generally destructive.

It sounds like you are doing your absolute best and the above sounds like typical 19 month behaviour so try not to put blame on yourself or the situation, it could mainly be another leap and a coincidence of timing have you spoken to you HV, any chance of getting a mother's help or the 19 month having a couple of mornings at nursery to give her some time outside the home and give you some breathing space?

Icecreamsoda99 thank you for your reply.
I think I’m finding it hard to get things into perspective and you’re right it is probably normal behaviour. My mother in law is always offering to have her which is fantastic but the trouble is she won’t nap there which completely disrupts her night sleep plus she tends to just get away with everything so I’m not sure if it helps her behaviour!
I have looked into local childminders just to mix things up a bit so that’s an idea.
I don’t drive either so I think I’m worrying about being stuck in all day with them.

There's 17 months between my two. The youngest is now 14 months. It's hard work at times but my oldest doesn't remember a time without his sister.

I have a slightly longer gap but to be completely honest it's been really hard. My older one is just 2 and the baby 3 months now. I don't have much family help. I would say my older one is pretty good for her age but even so there's usually a time each day when they are both screaming and I don't know what to do! Or I am stuck breastfeeding the baby and the toddler is up to no good.
I think you need to plan ahead a bit with 2. Make sure you are showered and dressed and ready to leave the house as much as possible, go for walks or to the play area or to local toddler groups. If at home put baby in a sling so you are hands free. Lower your expectations. It will be survival for a few months. Can your mil come round and help out generally? Sending the toddler away is not going to help - she needs to stay close to you.

Would also add that your toddler sounds normal. I find that explaining things helps. For example "the baby is crying and needs some milk so I can't play with you right now but we can sing a song" etc. And have the one to one time when you can.