To not say thank you for maintenance

[Disapoint]

So I have a 12 year old child, I’ve raised her alone. Her dad has had some issues and hasn’t been there much. Sometimes he will send money here and there but it’s never been consistent. His family does help out here and there when they can which I really appreciate. Anyway he’s recently decided to start giving me £80 a month for her. Today he sent the money and I was busy so I never said thank you.

Now he’s sending me messages calling me a bitch, that I should at least say thank you, he doesn’t owe me anything. I feel like I shouldn’t even have to say thank you because I literally pay for everything. I don’t need his money but I think he should pay towards her even if he can’t be there as a dad

I hope you just replied with - LOL 😂

What a dick.

I have on occasion said something like ‘nice one for sending that money over’ to my ex if I happen to be speaking to him but I certainly don’t feel obliged to thank him. He’s a good friend though and I’d say the same to any friend who had paid money they owed me.

Thank my child's Father for a pittance towards supporting his own child? No, can't say it's ever occurred to me to thank him. He certainly hasn't ever thanked me for being Mum, Dad, bank, nurse, teacher, and the rest to our child.

He should be thanking you every minute of every day for what you do for your daughter in that case.

I remember when my ex offered me £80 a month for our 4 children. I told him to ram it and I was going to CMS and he replied that if I send his girlfriend all my incomings and outgoings she can do me a budget and tell me what I can cut back on as she is amazing at budgeting. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

What a piece of shit. He wants a thank you for paying a pittance to raise his child? Disgusting.

@LateDecemberBackInLowB12

He should be thanking you every minute of every day for what you do for your daughter in that case.

I remember when my ex offered me £80 a month for our 4 children. I told him to ram it and I was going to CMS and he replied that if I send his girlfriend all my incomings and outgoings she can do me a budget and tell me what I can cut back on as she is amazing at budgeting. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Fucking hell!

Dont ever say Thank you.
Does he thankyou daily for taking care of his child?

Tell him you won’t be thanking him anymore because you’ve realised he’s never one thanked you.

Stupid prick.

And that’s the problem with a depressing amount of men - they see their fatherhood as optional and therefore anything they do, particularly financially, should be treated with thanks and gratitude instead of just what they should be doing as a father. It’s funny how few of these fathers ever seem to thank the mother of their children for doing almost everything.

Oh absolutely.. My ex only ever comments on any issues or poor behaviour in a way that suggests I'm not doing a good enough job for the 99% of the time they are with me. Never thinks to say anything positive about any of their achievements. Twat.

Surely the perfect opportunity to send him the most passive aggressive reply in the history of messaging............a thumbs up emoji

If you don't need the money, I think I'd reply:

"For what? Not paying anywhere near 50% of what it costs to raise our child? You should be thanking me for making up for you being such a shit parent so our DC doesn't suffer."

Remind him that the money is for your DD and not you.

Say 'Thank you for being completely absent from my child's life. I am truly grateful that she has never had a pointless waste of space like you in her life and has no idea who you are.' Then block the useless POS and put in a CMS claim just in case and to piss him off further.

@LateDecemberBackInLowB12

He should be thanking you every minute of every day for what you do for your daughter in that case.

I remember when my ex offered me £80 a month for our 4 children. I told him to ram it and I was going to CMS and he replied that if I send his girlfriend all my incomings and outgoings she can do me a budget and tell me what I can cut back on as she is amazing at budgeting. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

What a chop of the highest order!

Perhaps he can start sending £800 and you'll consider saying thanks, and not even then. What a prick!

I make a point of never thanking my ex of doing the bare minimum (less than that in fact) to take care of our children.

So no, YANBU to not thank your waste of space ex for giving you a teeny amount of money towards your child’s care.