Pregnant and confused!

[theconfused]

Hi all I hope you're all doing well.

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right section so please do let me know if not.

I'm in a bit of a weird situation, I'm 3 months pregnant (diagnosed with HG) struggling to even get out of bed and keeping anything down.

I've been signed off work for the next month or so, so I tend to come over to my parents house as my mum will be able to cook etc and I can sleep and someone can keep an eye on me (I genuinely feel as if I'm going to die at times it's that bad).

Husbands parents are over from home country, live around 10 minutes away whereas my mum is a 2 minute walk from my house.

AIBU to come over during the hours my husband is working as I've been told I'm not spending "time" with his parents though they haven't ever offered me a drink and don't understand the seriousness of hyperemesis gravidarum?

How do I explain that at times of looking my worst and feeling it too, I just want the comfort of my parents house? Especially as I'm sick so often?

yanbu. You're ill, and you're going where you would be looked after. Just because your sickness is caused by pregnancy doesn't change that - if you were down with a stomach bug you wouldn't go and try and make nice with the in laws, you'd go somewhere you could lie face down on the sofa and have someone make you drinks. This is no different imo

@mumofmunchkin

Thank you, I wasn't sure whether I was in the wrong not dividing up time between them. But I'm literally just being sick😂 so they're not missing out exactly

HG is really horrible and so debilitating. It's good for your health and mental health that you can be cared for whilst DH is at work. HG is so serious and needs monitoring. Be mindful of high keytone levels in your urine due to dehydration. I was admitted into hospital a number of times for IV fluids. Perhaps DH needs to explain to his parents just how serious HG is to help them understand. My very best wishes to you and your baby xxx

Go round, puke on their sofa, leave. Maybe they won't invite you back!

But seriously, you have enough on your plate at the moment. Just explain (or get DH to because he needs to be sticking up for you) that you are being frequently and unrelentingly sick and your mum is caring for you while you are unwell.

Who has moaned? Your husband or his parents?

Christ OP, you're definitely not being unreasonable. I think some people don't realise how bad HG can be, I have the upmost sympathy for you. I've never thankfully had it but normal pregnancy sickness was bad enough and I expected a LOT of sympathy , I can't even imagine how awful it must be to have HG.

No, you need your mum at times like this 💐

Absolutely fine to stay with your parents.

HG is a bitch.
I was just a cabbage on the couch for I don't know how long. As anything, movement, light, sound, smell, food, no food triggered the sickness.

YANBU at all. HG is awful.

YANBU, HG is so, so awful. Have you seen this website? There's a section for partners, might encourage your OH to be more sympathetic... (also good for advice and support)
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/get-help/partners-and-carers/

YANBU ...........I had HG and was signed off work. DH used to drop me at my parents while he worked and mum looked after me and fed DH when he picked me up, she was wonderful and it really helped.
You need to take care of yourself.........if your inlaws don't like it then they can lump it!!!!!

@BlueSuffragette

HG is really horrible and so debilitating. It's good for your health and mental health that you can be cared for whilst DH is at work. HG is so serious and needs monitoring. Be mindful of high keytone levels in your urine due to dehydration. I was admitted into hospital a number of times for IV fluids. Perhaps DH needs to explain to his parents just how serious HG is to help them understand. My very best wishes to you and your baby xxx

100% I feel lucky that I'm able to just be lazy and not have the stress of forcing myself out of bed when I'm alone at home to feel faint again.

Just the fear in the back of my head of being told I can go to my in laws because they're happy to take care of me too!

@BingBongToTheMoon

Who has moaned? Your husband or his parents?

I've heard it from DH a few times just saying that they're here and free too so they can make food for me too.

I then mentioned that I get migraines and they look after their grandkids so the noise would make it difficult for me... they've offered to come to my house if I pick them up?

I feel he doesn't understand fully that it's not about anyone cooking for me, it's literally about comfort and lying somewhere while being sick😬

[quote Vispa]YANBU, HG is so, so awful. Have you seen this website? There's a section for partners, might encourage your OH to be more sympathetic... (also good for advice and support)
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/get-help/partners-and-carers/[/quote]
Ahhh thank you, I'm definitely going to have a look and send this so that he knows it's not just me ignoring anyone!

You husband sounds quite daft, honestly.

YANBU, you need some looking after, not people making demands on your time! Your parents know you best, you need to be where you'll be most comfortable (well, as can be under the circumstances!).

@Cam2020

This is literally what I'm trying to explain and it's like whenever he speak to them, the conversation arises again and I'm like do I need to seriously explain my situation again.

I 100% am aware that he's doing all he can when he is home but I'm only going over when he's physically not able to be with me!