Is this dodgy?

[Picklypickles]

My oh has an older brother who lives in Australia, we are in the UK. His brother has asked him to buy and send him several boxes of Nurofen Plus tablets. Apparently he has been prescribed these tablets by his Doctor in Australia, despite the fact that they are not actually available to purchase in Australia?!

OH did what he asked, then got a message from his brother saying that the parcel of pills had been seized by Australian Customs and he wasn't allowed to have them because the relevant paperwor wasn't in the parcel and asked OH to buy more pills and resend - this time with a prescription printed out and included in the package. He has now got back to him again saying the package is lost and he hasn't got it and wants OH to send ANOTHER package.

This is all sounding increasingly strange to me, I don't understand why an Australian Doctor would prescribe a patient drugs that they can't get in their country. I may be being paranoid, I don't know! I do not trust OH's brother as far as I could throw him, he is known for being something of a con artist and my OH has HFA and ADHD and tends to take people (especially his beloved brothers) at face value and I don't trust his brother not to take advantage of him.

Any ideas?

@waybill

Does your oh realise that he could get in really serious trouble with customs and the police for drug trafficking?

He needs to stop doing this immediately.

Yes I have explicitly told him this and he's still on the phone with his brother convincing him that that's not at all true, it's all fiiiiiiiiiiiine!

When things are genuinely straightforward and legal and fine, it doesn’t usually take a lengthy “okay it looks dodgy but but but” conversation to explain them, in my experience. Phone call should be two minutes long: “I see why you’re worried but it’s fine, here’s the Australian government webpage telling you they allow it now.”

@GoldenOmber

When things are genuinely straightforward and legal and fine, it doesn’t usually take a lengthy “okay it looks dodgy but but but” conversation to explain them, in my experience. Phone call should be two minutes long: “I see why you’re worried but it’s fine, here’s the Australian government webpage telling you they allow it now.”

I agree completely. I also know that if one of my family members was asking me for a favour like this and I expressed concerns it might cause me trouble they would immediately tell me not to worry about it and would sort it themselves! The man is a nasty, manipulative and thoroughly untrustworthy POS. He knows his brother has problems with memory and retaining information because of his ADHD, I even have an email here where he says exactly that so what is the point of this now 2hr long phone call trying to explain the ins and outs of international post and Australian laws etc to my poor OH?!

Sounds like the brother’s approach is to talk and talk and browbeat and befuddle until whoever he’s trying to persuade decides it’s easiest just to do what he says.

Can you 'accidentally' hang up on BIL?

There are actually a surprising number of UK medical items not available in the UK - even quite a few children's items. But Australian customs are very strict. I doubt anything like that would get through. He could also just order it himself online. It does sound dodgy to me.

Yes. Sounds dodgy to me. Even without the rest of the details about you not trusting him or him being a con artist. All those long stories, then asking for new ones each time, don't seem right.

Look up the TV programmes on Australian customs. They seize things like that all the time and both your DH and his brother could get into big trouble

Has he said why he can't just get his prescription issued I'm Australia?
What is the actual reason for him asking for drugs to be sent to him?

The story he's now given OH is that the small boxes of Nurofen Plus are banned in Australia, however he says that having it sent to him from the UK is perfectly legal. I asked OH to question him about why he was asking for 3 boxes of 20 tablets each time when his prescription is for 20 tablets only, he says that his prescription is for the highest dose of something and that the Nurofen Plus tablets are a lower dose which is why he needs 3 boxes.

Rubbish. His doctor can prescribe ibuprofen and codeine separately,

I'd answer the phone to him and tell him that if he keeps asking then you'll report him to Customs.

www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/individuals/services/medicare/pharmaceutical-benefits-scheme/how-manage-your-pbs-medicine-overseas/posting-pbs-medicine-overseas

Theres a number at the bottom to call if you want to check the legality yourself.

Well, surprise surprise! The brothers offer of work has now been withdrawn. It's all MY fault apparently. He's done nothing but try to help us he says, but I'm not showing him the RESPECT he DESERVES by refusing to speak to him and for daring to voice concern regarding the legality of what he was asking OH to do. Because of my lack of trust and refusal to bow and scrape and kiss his fat sweaty arse it will now not be possible for him to have any kind of working relationship with his own brother!

OH is now sulking, he seems to agree that this is all my fault. He really seems to believe that if I had just kept my mouth shut and let him carry on sending drugs to another country every bloody week, that he would now be earning millions with his brother and life would be all sunshine and rainbows.

Your dh really does have the FOG doesn’t he?

Not sending him the medicine would not stop his work and your dh is stupid if it think it did.

I don’t know why your dh doesn’t see how much trouble he could get by sending OTC medication to somewhere where you need a prescription for it.

So his lucrative business idea was selling the drugs your OH was sending then.

If it was legal for someone in the UK to send them then his brother would be able to order them from AmazonUK

I'm pleased that he's not going to send any packets with the fake (scanned) prescription though. I'd be concerned that would trigger legal trouble

I think your husband is very lucky to have you. Whether it is love or duty you are protecting him. You deserve a big treat today! (Although until your husband sees what a gem you are, you might need to treat yourself) His brother is a disgrace and what he was asking your husband to do is certainly illegal.

Will he be more likely to stop if he sees that his brother is increasingly likely to get into trouble with each package intercepted ?

The irrational reaction and lies is that of an addict.
Please don't kiss his sweaty arse either figuratively and definitely not literally.
You've done the right thing for you and his brother, and everyone here knows you have.
Well done.

@Picklypickles

Well, surprise surprise! The brothers offer of work has now been withdrawn. It's all MY fault apparently. He's done nothing but try to help us he says, but I'm not showing him the RESPECT he DESERVES by refusing to speak to him and for daring to voice concern regarding the legality of what he was asking OH to do. Because of my lack of trust and refusal to bow and scrape and kiss his fat sweaty arse it will now not be possible for him to have any kind of working relationship with his own brother!

OH is now sulking, he seems to agree that this is all my fault. He really seems to believe that if I had just kept my mouth shut and let him carry on sending drugs to another country every bloody week, that he would now be earning millions with his brother and life would be all sunshine and rainbows.

Are you sure that your partner is actually worth all this hassle? You're financially supporting him, presumably taking on the vast majority of the mental load at all times - and now you're copping it because you have to explain to him that he can't make a living supplying illegal drugs and he doesn't like that. You're telling him 'no, OH, you cannot work as a drug trafficker, it's not allowed' and he's got the bollockache over it.

I would get DH to tell his DB the police have been in touch with him about it.

That should solve the issue promptly.

If it's legal your BIL won't mind you contacting Australian customs about it, just to check is ok.

But he doesn't want you to do that because he KNOWS it is illegal.

He doesn't care if your OH gets into trouble. He literally doesn't care about him, he is just using him

That is the sad fact that your OH doesn't want to acknowledge.

Well done and I hope your OH doesn't send any more, and is ok.

Thanks everyone. I know I've done the right thing, I've thought this was dodgy since the first time he asked and so did my dad who my OH asked to print out the bloody prescription because our printer is on the blink! I can't for the life of me imagine a scenario where one of my own brothers would ask something like this of me and then have the gall to be offended at me wanting to check I wouldn't get in trouble first!

OH wont be sending any more, he DID offer to on the last phone call but his brother threw his big dramatic hissy fit and threw all his toys out of the pram and refused thank goodness! Now my OH is refusing to discuss the issue at all, all mention of the brother is forbidden now. Clearly he is struggling with the reality of being related to such a nasty, cruel piece of shit, the brother has been dangling that great job carrot in front of him all year getting him all excited and then snatched it away the moment he's realised we aren't going to dance to his tune.

Well done. You did the right thing. Maybe the start of redefining the relationship and not letting sweaty arse dictate everything.