AIBU and overreacting?

[Izzysverytiredmummy]

Here's the thing, me and my partner have made it very clear to my MIL that we don't want our one year old daughter to have any kind of relationship with her great-grandparents because of the way they used to be with my partner when he was growing up, also they've not bothered with asking how our daughter is or sent any Christmas/birthday cards or gifts to her.
Well the other day MIL messaged my partner to ask if she could take our daughter to their house to meet them, which he declined and told her we aren't ready to have them in her life yet and we will take her to see them when and if we feel we are ready for it, so she didn't take her to them. The next day it was her birthday so we took our daughter to see her and wish her a happy birthday when she dropped in that said great-grandparents were going to be coming to her house the next morning, when she looks after our daughter whilst I'm at work. Since it was her birthday we knew it wasn't the time or place to kick up a fuss about it, but she could tell we were both absolutely fuming. Next day comes and I finish work, go to pick up our daughter and told her we weren't happy about her introducing our daughter to them when we specifically stated we didn't want it to happen. She then started raising her voice at me and telling me I can't dictate who she can and can't have in her house to which I responded that she hadn't respected our wishes and has crossed the line with making the decision for our daughter to have a relationship with them against our wishes.Anyway, because of this, we're now looking at putting our daughter into a nursery whilst I'm at work because I feel I can't trust her to look after her anymore. This isn't the only thing that she's done with her behind our backs, it's lots of little things that have all added up and led to this point. Am I being unreasonable and over reacting or am I right in doing this?
Thank you!

Not IMO at all and I think that there is so much potential for fallout when family members provide childcare that I don't think it's really worth it because disagreements like this can irreparably harm relationships,sadly. I'm not saying it can't be a successful experience cause I know it can but...

I don't think YABU if your DH doesn't want his child having a relationship with them due to his past - I can see your MILs point about being allowed who she wants in her own house (assuming they are your MILs parents?) however if you and DP have explained your reasoning and issues with them, I do think she was out of line.

Tbh nursery sounds like the best option!

YWBU to have even taken her than morning knowing what she was planning. I definitely wouldn't be trusting her with your daughter. She knew very well that you didn't want them around her and she went out if her way to go against that. Bang out of order.

That's the tricky bit about free childcare, you can't really set the rules and it sounds like you PIL are not going to suddenly change their minds and start listening to you.
Find a nursery ASAP.

Why did you let her have your daughter if you knew in advance they would be there that day?

You shouldn't have had a go when you picked your dd up, as she warned you ahead of time and you made the choice to drop her there anyway.

Yanbu to use a nursery now. Its easier to have boundries and have your rules followed at the nursery.

What did they do to your DH?

Well she did tell you that they would be going there.

I have no other options for childcare at the moment and I had to go to work, I wish I could have taken the time off of work so I didn't have to take her but unfortunately my job's one of those where I don't get paid time off.

I didn't have a go, I just stated to her that we weren't too happy about it. If I was the have a go at her I wouldn't have been so calm about it.

@Mumstheword20

Think you have had a name change fail!

YANBU just find a nursery and move.