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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I the only one who can’t get their baby to sleep!

46 replies

Aftermidnightstrikes · 29/09/2021 19:33

I’ve always struggled a bit to get my baby (now 10 months) to go to sleep. He used to feed to sleep but now doesn’t. Since he was about 5/6 months I’ve rocked / bounced to sleep but this can take ages and as he gets bigger not sure how practical it is.

I’m just wondering how others manage … have I gone wrong somewhere?

OP posts:
crazyguineapiglady · 29/09/2021 19:35

You could teach him to fall asleep in his cot now if that is what you would like to do?

Merryoldgoat · 29/09/2021 19:39

Well I wasn’t willing to leave my children to cry so I just waited until they were tired and cuddled them until they drifted off.

I also co slept with DS2.

ISaidDontLickTheBin · 29/09/2021 19:41

No advice

ISaidDontLickTheBin · 29/09/2021 19:41

Sorry pressed post too soon!

No advice just sympathy, my DC2 fed to sleep until 15 months and still needs cuddling to sleep now...

NigellaSeed · 29/09/2021 19:42

Don't worry! When I stopped night feeding DS at 9 months there's was a good few months where only my DP could rock him to sleep. He would rock to sleep in my arms, so don't feel bad, it's not just you. Eventually DS started being happy to be placed in cot and back rubbed and now I am better at that than DP :p

NigellaSeed · 29/09/2021 19:42

Sorry he wouldn't rock to sleep in my arms

CoalCraft · 29/09/2021 19:45

To answer you're question, no you certainly aren't!

Wynston · 29/09/2021 19:47

9 years in and mine still dont like to go to sleep x

Original poster
Aftermidnightstrikes · 29/09/2021 19:50

He just doesn’t go to sleep in his cot, just gets increasingly agitated and distressed.

I mean, maybe if I left him there all night he’d give in but I’m actually not convinced!

OP posts:
Feetupteashot · 29/09/2021 19:56

Same here. We sleep trained first 6mth old which was horrible. 3yo co slept for ages, she comes in occasionally and i miss her when she doesn't. Felt much better for me.

Somethingsnappy · 29/09/2021 19:56

@ISaidDontLickTheBin

No advice
This made me laugh! Damn those fingers with a mind of their own, pressing post! Grin

OP. My baby is the same and same age. Sometimes he'll still BF to sleep, but mostly not. When I know he's tired, I just sit or lie down and cuddle him to sleep. If he's over tired, he'll cry, but I just cuddle him until he can resist no longer!

PurBal · 29/09/2021 19:58

You said he’s agitated, does he actually cry? DS is much younger. He is either fed to sleep or put down drowsy. If drowsy then probably 70-80% of the time he grizzles” and thrashes around but calms down after about 10 minutes, sleep might take him 30 minutes but he gets there eventually. I only pick him up if he’s properly crying, I don’t leave him to “cry it out” or anything but he has to actually cry. We’re hitting sleep regression though so we might just have been lucky thus far.

crazyguineapiglady · 29/09/2021 19:59

@Aftermidnightstrikes

He just doesn’t go to sleep in his cot, just gets increasingly agitated and distressed.

I mean, maybe if I left him there all night he’d give in but I’m actually not convinced!

You could try rocking/bouncing until he is nearly asleep, then laying him in his cot and keep vigorously patting/rocking him until he falls asleep. Only pick him up and start again if he gets very upset and make sure you put him down just before he falls asleep. Then each night reduce the amount of rocking until you are just patting in the cot. Then you can reduce the amount of patting until you are just putting him down awake.

That is the gentler, more gradual way to do it. To be honest you could probably achieve the same thing much quicker with controlled crying eg put him in the cot, say good night and leave then return after 3 minutes and lay back down and leave. Return after 5 minutes if still crying then 7 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes.
Overall quicker but a lot more crying involved. Might just take 5-10 days of being really consistent whereas a gradual approach might take a month.

Outfoxedbyrabbits · 29/09/2021 20:00

No you haven't gone wrong anywhere and your baby is completely normal - babies have evolved to want to be close to their adult caregivers especially at vulnerable times like going to sleep and needing help to do so is totally natural. Of course, some people are very lucky and have babies who want to go to sleep on their own! But there's nothing wrong with yours if you didn't get one of those ones, and he will leventually learn to do it on his own (but the societal idea that most babies "should" fall asleep unaided at 7pm and sleep through until 7am alone in a crib isn't really based in biology).

You might like the Facebook group The Beyond Sleep Training Project, there'll be lots of ideas from parents of similar babies on there Smile

theworldhasgoneinsane · 29/09/2021 20:00

Same! My DD is nearly 1 and I feel like she will never go to sleep in her own, she is fed to sleep though. We now have her a floor bed and I go in multiple times during the night to feed her back to sleep 😴

StyleOfTheTimes · 29/09/2021 20:03

I’m pretty convinced some kids just don’t like to sleep!! My 2 and a half year old is a nightmare still. I’m typing this whilst sat in her room waiting for her to fall asleep. She’s never slept well from newborn and it’s not gotten any easier. She often gets into our bed in the middle of the night and takes ages to fall asleep.

Original poster
Aftermidnightstrikes · 29/09/2021 20:05

Thanks. He does properly cry and get very distressed if you put him down awake.

He has slept through a couple of times and other times only wakes once and goes back to sleep. But getting him to sleep can be tricky. I also think he probably sleeps too late!

OP posts:
shouldistop · 29/09/2021 20:09

What's his schedule like? What times does he wake and go to sleep?

Original poster
Aftermidnightstrikes · 29/09/2021 20:10

He generally wakes at around 630 am. Naps are very varied as he’s at nursery but mostly sleeps between 2-3 hours a day. Bed is usually between 8 and 830.

OP posts:
Noogar · 29/09/2021 20:11

Took mine until about 1 year before they got the hang of it. I didn't like to let them cry AT ALL though so made it harder on myself really.

MushroomQueen · 29/09/2021 20:11

Both mine fed then rocked to sleep. Both kids sleep all night through no wake ups from about 2 years. They are 7 and 5 now

squirrelnutkins1 · 29/09/2021 20:12

Have a look at 'calm and bright sleep support' on Instagram. You can message them for advice, I've done it a few times without signing up to a plan x

shouldistop · 29/09/2021 20:13

What time does he wake from his last nap? You want to leave it no more than 4 hours for him to be going to sleep after waking from last nap x

bubblebath62636 · 29/09/2021 20:13

Does he sleep from 8-630?

Is your problem just getting him to sleep or does he wake through the night also?

Original poster
Aftermidnightstrikes · 29/09/2021 20:19

It varies - I pick him up at about 4 though.

I wish he slept 8-630, life would be sooo good Grin

He slept through for three nights and I thought I had cracked it and was so smug. Ha ha ha!

OP posts: