Needs to sleep, not watch tv

[Forgottogetcakes]

We really struggle with DD, 3 and her sleeping, she never gets enough and is often overtired and as a result difficult.
With it getting darker earlier, she’s been going to bed earlier (7/7.30) and skipping the daily nap. We live abroad, so she often napped during the day and stayed up later.
She’s been doing really well since the earlier bedtime-teeth, stories and lights out and normally asleep (with me) before 8.
I keep telling dp how much better she’s being at home and how she needs to be asleep before 8.
It’s dps night tonight to put her to bed and I can hear them watching tv on his phone..again, so she won’t be asleep until gone 9. I keep saying she doesn’t need to watch something before bed, she can have a little tv in the day, just stories and sleep…it never changes, Aibu?

What time does your 3 year old go to bed and how many hours of sleep do they get?
How many *should Dd be getting?

Or *Did your 3 year old go to bed

As much as she needs
What time does she wake?
In our house - no tv/screens at least an hour before bed and agree with DP re schedule and stick to it
DC that young need downtime - story (bath for some if routine) and less activity

Why is DP ignoring you? Do they then call you if DC not settled?

3yos need routine, this is bonkers.

@TheWayTheLightFalls She has the same routine and always has, he just always lets her watch a few videos on his phone 😫

@Shirazboobaloo She wakes on average 7.30-8. He doesn’t call me, it sounds quiet now, so she’s (hopefully) drifting off, but should be earlier. When she previously napped in the afternoon, she was hard to get to sleep, going earlier and no nap has been better for her, with less tiredness etc. I had to text to say she needs to sleep 🙄

@Shirazboobaloo Routine has always been the same -bath (not every night) teeth, wee, stories, lights out with music/stars thing on the ceiling which eventually goes out. He’s letting her watch half an hour of tv after the stories, no need! 🤷🏻‍♀️
I say it enough times, she begs him to let her and he ends up saying ‘Just a couple’
then she’s to sleep later and cranky and v difficult without enough sleep.

You need to either do bed every night, or let this go. My DH is a bit the same in that bedtime takes longer when he does it because he lets DS piss about. I just sit on the couch and let him deal with it then when he moans about how much later it is than when I put DS to bed, I just remind him that it's his own fault.

@Ginger1982 It’s me that has to deal with all the moods the next day though and then she gets overtired by the next night, it’s a vicious circle. It’s not fair on her either to always be so overtired and miserable

What’s the average bedtime for 3’s and average amount of hours sleep needed? She’s getting around 11, I’ve read up to 14 hours is optimum?

My 3yo takes 10.5 to 11hours sleep. That's all they ever needed.

My 3 year old ds goes to bed at 7pm generally asleep for 7.15 wakes anytime between 6.30-7am. Still wakes at this time no matter how late we put him to bed.

@doublemix Yes, 12 hours and she seems to be ok, so latest to sleep for 8, but would prefer it a little earlier

@TrialofTrials She’ll get around 10.5 tonight, she always seems tired with only this amount

My 3yr5m can sleep forever! I have to wake her up in the morning for nursery. Goes to bed just after 6.30 and asleep in 10/15 minutes top. She puts herself to sleep. I wake her up by 6. On a Friday she starts nursery late so she wakes up before 8.

If he wants to do it his way - then he deals with her in the morning and next day. Not against different routines/parenting styles but if his has consequences on DD (and you) then he needs to deal with it. If he can't or won't then that's a bigger issue

@Shirazboobaloob He’s out to work so it’s me for 11 hours

My daughter would be tired if going to bed at 9 every night, and up at 7. You just need to speak to DH, and explain. it's unfair to your DD and to you.

Approx 7-7, no nap. She will usually have a few bad nights over a few weeks and lose a bit of sleep but if she seems overtired she goes to bed at 6pm a few nights to catch up. Overtired children are awful hard work!

Does your DP work weekends? If not then leave his "freestyling" til weekend when he can deal with consequences and you can get a good sleep/lie-in.