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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off that packed lunchers had to stay in the classroom today, whilst everyone who who was having xmas dinner had fun in the hall grrrrrrrrr

48 replies

PirateInaPeartree · 06/12/2007 16:53

dd was really upset, as she had to stay with only 2 other kids in her class, whilst the festivites went on.

i am livid. can't belive there was no romm for them, and they r only 5. They had to dress up today too, and she was looking forward to being part of it.

OP posts:

hatrick · 06/12/2007 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

PirateInaPeartree · 06/12/2007 18:44

bamboo get real, lucky for you if your kids eat without a fight.. have spoken to other packed lunchers. ok

my dd is fussy eater, my friend's dd has packed lunch as she has major wheat allergy.

many kids dont like meat, dont eat meat, dont like school food.

Another mum whose dd is 9 has rung me and said omg, they were left out.

It was special day. It was 'dress for dinner day'

we ALL collected money for a sweepstake, all contributed food for a raffle, a sort of, 'we'll let the kids dress up' in return for your support, to make money for a computer room revamp.

Anyway, I think it was badly organised and they prob couldnt fit them in.

So are you saying that had I paid for dd to have a dinner she wouldn't eat she would have least have got a seat!!!!

dd is 5 ffs, first ever xmas in school.

OP posts:

dragonstitcher · 06/12/2007 20:35

DD age 7 isn't a great eater and didn't want xmas dinner yesterday. She took her lunch box as normal but I but a few extra special bits in.

The tables were put in long lines and decorated. The packed lunch children sat in amongst the xmas dinner children, with their friends, as normal. There is never any segregation at lunch time in our school.

ChasingSquirrels · 06/12/2007 20:42

v poor, even if the packed lunchers normally eat elsewhere it would be poor - but when they normally eat in the same place at the same time anyway it is inexcusible.

ds1 says he sits with the rest of his class, both packed lunch and school dinners and they all eat at the same time. 2 sittings, the older kids eat later and any of the younger ones who haven't finished move up to sit together. I can't understand why they wouldn't all just sit together (space considerations aside).

smartiejake · 06/12/2007 20:51

ALL the children sit in the hall and take part in the festivities at my school. If they have a packed lunch they still join in and get a cracker and wear a silly hat like thoe who want a school christmas dinner. If they want to have a dinner for that day they can even if they don't usually have a hot meal.
It is outrageous and cruel that 3 young children should be left out. YANBU

catsmother · 06/12/2007 21:47

YANBU .... it's incredibly insensitive and cruel. I've racked my brains and I can't think of any good reason why the school would have done this.

It reminds me of the Mner (sorry, can't remember her name) who has this ongoing dispute with her kids' school about a birthday table. Same sort of exclusion thing going on.

Your poor little girl.

I would be up there tomorrow asking to speak to the head - forget the form teacher.

Original poster

PirateInaPeartree · 06/12/2007 22:08

i have emailed the head. Am porly atm with virus thing.

my dd gets enough exc;usion form her own father as it it.

it was very insenstive of the school. very very poor. thanks everyone bar one for thinking i wasn't being unreasonable.

OP posts:

newgirl · 06/12/2007 22:09

hang on - i think hatrick has a point

perhaps they thought you were a conscientious objector or whatever its called and did not want your child to participate for religious reasons?

another parent may have been very cross if their child had been made to join in celebrations that they did not believe in eg jehovah witnesses

coppertop · 06/12/2007 22:19

But surely the school would have checked with parents first about objections etc rather than take the word of a 5yr-old?

It sounds like exclusion to me.

Scotia · 06/12/2007 22:20

Good grief, you're not unreasonable at all. If the school thought you objected to her participating, someone should have checked with you. Not a nice thing to exclude the packed lunch children from the fun. Miserable sods. Like cod says, they could have asked for 20p for a cracker.

Scotia · 06/12/2007 22:21

Cross posted wioth coppertop, sorry

Original poster

PirateInaPeartree · 06/12/2007 22:24

Bit of background, i live in a tiny town in the middle of devon, its a c of e school, its very traditional, but also forward thinking. its not the religion thing, my god (oops) dd is an elephant in the nativity 2morro, see trad but with an edge

Its the sort of school where everyone knows everyone's business. They would be more likely to send round a reminder for bulk buying wellies than even 'think' there are other religions. JOKE

OP posts:

coppertop · 06/12/2007 22:26

Great minds think alike, Scotia.

tortoiseSHELL · 06/12/2007 22:31

I think our school let the packed lunches sit with the school dinners. Dd will have christmas lunch, ds1 absolutely will not, he would eat nothing, and it would wreck his day, worrying about the meal ahead, and then being hungry. Not the best Christmas treat!

tiredandillatXmas · 07/12/2007 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Baffy · 07/12/2007 13:45

YANBU

How sad for dd

Hope you get a satisfactory reply off the head - along with an explanation of how they plan to make it up to the children who were excluded

DablesinChristmasSpirits · 07/12/2007 13:59

you should find out if u can bring it up at the next pta meeting, its terrible. i would even consdier speaking to the head abotu it. poor your dd!

dustyroad · 07/12/2007 14:09

YANBU

That is just so so mean. I am

I know it is a big deal to a 5yo but I hope that with all else going on at this time of year she forgets about it soon.

OverMyDeadStuffedTurkey · 07/12/2007 14:10

I feel for your DD pirate, and am not going to check with DS's school that this won't be happening there, as their Christmas dinner is next week.

DS doesn't like potatoes or meat, so is having packed munch as usual (his choice). Packed lunch kids usually eat in their classroom, so will check if they are all included on the day!

Shocking really, esp. with only three of them!

paulaplumpbottom · 07/12/2007 14:12

I hope you complain loudly, I'd be livid to. I don't understand some people. How can they have been so insensitive

Original poster

PirateInaPeartree · 07/12/2007 14:57

i emailed the head last night.

saw one of the ptfa women in supermarket, she was serving apparently. I said what had happened and she was shocked too. She was under the impression all the kids were in the hall, as she said she def saw the reception kiddies having their packed lunches in hall alongside the xmas dinners.

I await a reply form the school. am in no mood for a verbal. just want an email back and have requested this.

OP posts:

Original poster

PirateInaPeartree · 07/12/2007 17:24

head rang, apologised for dd not enjoying lunch, Too ill to argue tbh.

said would look into it next year and there were just too many having the lunch. no space etc...

he got off lightly pmsl

OP posts:

peachygirl · 07/12/2007 17:29

I'm quite shocked at this. At my school parents are always offered the choice to pay and everyone eats together, children teachers, TAs and even the bus drivers who are invited for the day.
Children who still have their packed lunches have them as usual but with the festivities

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