Iam married, disabled with 4 children. My health is improving slowly as I have a incomplete spinal cord injury but Iam walking again and achieving more for myself. My husband who don’t get me wrong is amazing cooking, cleaning attending to our children and working from home but before my multitude of operations on my spinal cord I did everything arranged the kids, home, school, childcare and worked. I even had time to be romantic arrange nights outs, always made the first move, told him always I loved him.
The role has reversed and I now realised how much I was doing and keeping our relationship romantic. He has no clue and doesn’t seem bothered with me romantically whatsoever. I understand that his priorities have changed and he is busy but I don’t think he has ever been bothered and now when I talk to him he uses the excuse of that he has a lot on and stays quiet while I moan about the situation. I asked him yesterday if he wanted to go to an event in our town so we could go out, his reply was “not really” I need to do chores and get dinner on. This was 11am. Which upsets me as I don’t currently drive the only time I get to go out is for appointments. Weekends I don’t go anywhere, he makes no effort romantically with me, everything in the bedroom is instigated by me and I cannot remember the last time he came onto me or told me he loves me without me prompting him first. I am beginning to feel low and worthless and that he is waiting for our four kids to grow up then to realise we have nothing in common then to leave me, as I know he always would not want to bring up the kids with us living separate lives. I’ve told him how I feel and I feel stuck as I do rely on him but he dismisses we have a problem. I don’t know what else to do about our situation. I am unhappy and some days feel like leaving him but I love him so much but I’ve put up with this for past 20 years I think I feel lonely and fed up of having to instigate everything we do, I just want be woo’d and have no clue how to shake him out of this