Brief bit of background, I'll try not to ramble. I always wanted to teach from being young. Went through school, did my A levels, and had a place at a good university to study joint honours in English Language and Sociology. I hated doing A-Levels, and found the whole process a huge struggle on every level; I happened across an NVQ Teaching Assistants course, and diverted onto that instead, as it felt like something I wanted to do, rather than something that was expected of me.
I completed a L2 and L3, and worked as a TA in a primary schools for a couple of years. I did then feel ready for uni, and completed a degree in Early Childhood Studies. I worked in Early Years for a few years, before then moving on to my Prof Grad (a teaching qualification for age 14+).
Towards the end of that course, I fell pregnant with DS, so didn't actually seek employment, I was a SAHP until DD started nursery, and I went back to teaching a few weeks before Easter. after approximately 6 years. I'm at the same college where I both did my teacher training qualification, and the associated teaching practice (they deliver some HE courses in partnership with the local university as well as the FE courses). I'm primarily teaching on the TA programme that I did myself (albeit an updated version obviously).
I'm a few weeks in to the new term, and it's become apparent that I'm not able for the job in the slightest! I'm making mistakes left, right and centre (missing little processes I should have completed throughout the application and enrolment process, structuring sessions poorly on one programme which is different to the others, and I didn't realise it was delivered in a completely different way to the other courses, missing bits of paperwork as I wasn't aware they needed to be completed).
The other major issue is my classroom management with one particular group is pretty much non existent. I've tried every tool in my arsenal, and I still can't get a handle on a select pocket of learners within the group. It' reached a point that one of the students was in tears today, and has asked to swap courses as she can't cope being in that group.
I feel like an utter failure, and I can't bare the thought of letting the students and my colleagues down. If it was one or two little things, then it would seem feasible to seek support for these to improve my skills, however it feels like I'm not even competent in any aspect of the job.
AIBU to consider going for a complete career change after spending my time since GCSE options building up to this role?
Any suggestions as to what kinds of roles I could even go for without a whole new degree?
I'm just feeling so inadequate and overwhelmed. I have no clue how to begin fixing the mess I'm in.