To worry about boyfriend moving to a new town and job

[circularium]

We met a year ago and essentially bubbled through lockdowns/ restrictions. It was a false sense of reality but incredibly bonding and we loved seeing each other every weekend. He was very far away from
His own family and friends so he was quite lonely too.
We are both mid forties.
Restrictions lifted and we enjoyed spending time with each other's families and friends while also socialising together.
He has been offered and has accepted a new job near his home where his family and friends live. I am wry
Pleased for him as I would hate to see him go through another lonely winter of sickness and being alone BUT I feel really sad and I can't umdwrstamd why.
His new move is the same distance from
My home as it was before this new move . I know he'll be much happier in his life but I feel sad for some reason.
We are hugely happy together overall and I fully supported his move.
Can someone help me understand this please ?

Anyone please?

Is it perhaps an insecurity that he'll move on without you or that you'll grow apart? I remember feeling this way when an ex started uni because I didn't trust him. It sounds like your relationship became intense quite quickly due to lockdowns so it didn't develop the way it would have otherwise.

Do you feel like you won't fit into his new life? Closer to his friends, family and with a new exciting opportunity?

I do trust him but he will be busier and the social
Aspect of his life with family and friends will be fuller. Maybe I'm afraid that he won't want me as much anymore ?

Maybe I am afraid that we will grow apart.

You've gotten used to having him to yourself. So it's a change in dynamic. It can be a good thing though - you'll have lots more stories to discuss when you're together, as you'll both be doing your own thing outside of that time.

DP and I met before the pandemic however a lot of the serious parts of our relationship took place during covid too and I had some anxieties about what it would be like when things opened up again, but we've really enjoyed having a "bigger" life and wider circle lately.

You'll just have to trust in it and both make an effort, while enjoying your own family/friends/hobbies too. If you do grow apart then that would of course be sad but that can happen any relationship.

It's a good idea to build a life that is fulfilling in itself, with or without someone who may or may not become special at some point in the future. So that, if the potential special person becomes less available or disappears, you still have a life that is worthwhile. You shouldn't put yourself in a position where such a loss leaves you bereft.

It sounds like a really positive mood. He will be happier, and hopefully that will make the relationship as a whole happier.

Move, not mood!

I think he will be happier too.He was treated badly in his other job and was very
Lonely and unwell during lockdown.
It's a great move. I hope it will enhance us and not break us.
Am I catastrophising ?
I have a busy and full life but he is the first man I've trusted or had a relationship since
Marital breakdown ( by infidelity ) and I'm
Not sure I'm strong enough to get my heart broken again so soon. Just unsettled I think .

Why do you think that him being close to his friends and family would cause your relationship to break down?
And if it does, it probably wasn’t going to work long term anyway.

It's not that I believe that being close to them will cause the breakdown, it is because he will finally be so close to them all and have so much catching up to do that I may become surplus to requirements. They are very very close and he has missed them very much.As it stands, due to kids etc we see each other every weekend for an overnight and then a weekend eow on our own .

Don't give yourself a hard time. Could it be as simple as this has been a lovely period and you don't want it to end?

You are happy and things are changing. It’s very natural to be nervous of change. It’s also great that you have the self awareness to recognise that this is a bit selfish since he will be in a better position all round.

I think you’ll be fine

Thanks. I guess I'm afraid the bubble is going to burst!