Work must be annoyed you're pregnant !

[flameyone]

A few relatives have made this comment to me, regarding my pregnancy and how my work place must feel about that.

Am I unreasonable for that to be annoying to me ?

They said stuff like, yeah most employers don't hire women your age for this exact reason. It must be so annoying for them that you'll need to go on maternity leave. It's just inconvenient for them.

I know that's probably true, but shouldn't be in 2021.

And by mentioning that, you're just perpetuating it. Maybe it's my hormones or something, but it didn't leave me feeling very nice.

@Narwhalsh

Men take parental leave too…

Quite, it's shared now, up to six months each is it? That would have really helped us, me being the main earner had it been available when we had DDs. I'd have still wanted 8 months off myself to breastfeed and recover but it would have been great for DH to have a few months at home also.

@DressBitch

It's genuinely disgusting that people feel like this, but they do.

There was a thread recently by a woman who had been offered a job but hadn't told them she was 7 months pregnant. The attitudes, from mostly women, were shocking.

That’s really dishonest of her.

Would you prefer your employer not to miss you?

Your employer can be happy for you and glad for your sake that you're pregnant while feeling that having your role to fill in your absence is an annoyance.

It's 15 weeks prior to week of childbirth, not 20 weeks

I'd tell your relatives where to go with their comments.

@flameyone

I'm probably being sensitive, but it's not what I would say to a pregnant woman. I can't help but it having left me feeling ashamed and useless that people keep saying that to me.

Aaaaw sweetheart, you know the shame is all theirs, don't you?

Next time one of them opens their stupid mouth on this topic, ask them what they think your partner's workplace thinks of his impending fatherhood.

Enjoy sniggering at them inside your head as they tie themselves in knots ...

How long have you been at the company?

If you've not been there long then I can totally understand where they're coming from in saying that, it IS difficult for a company if they go through the process of hiring someone, training them up, only for them to go off on leave for a year and have to go through the process again for someone to fill the gap. Doesn't mean you're wrong for doing it, but it's naive to pretend that people who run businesses will be as thrilled about it as the parents are.

If you've been there a while (a year or more) and as you say it's your first pregnancy at the company, then that's an odd and strange thing for them to say and I wouldn't give it a second thought.

@HarebrightCedarmoon the mother has to take a minimum amount of leave (few weeks) but they can share the 50 weeks as they like-my DH and I have shared 6 months leave each in the past but he’s about to take the lions share with our next baby-so he will take his ‘standard’ paternity leave, back to work a couple of months and then taking 8-9 months off while I return to work. Yes we are a minority in terms of how we’ve done things but it’s certainly out there that it’s not just the mother causing headaches