Friend runs her FB account like an open forum

[Anon778833]

Do you know someone who does this? A woman I interact with the most on Facebook does. And we have similar views on most things. I like her very much.

At some point along the way she started accepting loads of 'friends' who she doesn't know. 4000 she has now. This now means that when I make a comment on one of her posts I either get unwanted PMs from creepy old men, or nasty trolls stressing me when I don't need it. These nasty people also pick on her too!

Obviously, in a way this isn't my business. But I now feel that I can't interact with her on FB any more even though I consider her a friend. I don't have many friends because I'm autistic (and so is she).

I'm also a bit concerned about how open she is about her personal life which all these strange people have access to.

Unfriend her. Especially if you are getting abusive pms.

Obviously, in a way this isn’t my business

There is no “in a way” about it I am afraid. Sounds like the best thing to do is not post on her FB page.

just stay off her Facebook page

Guess it’s the same as any other public social media profile. You nailed it when you said it’s none of your business what she chooses to do with her own profile, and I’d suggest just not interacting with her on Facebook to avoid any unwanted messages etc.

@Aprilx

Obviously, in a way this isn’t my business

There is no “in a way” about it I am afraid. Sounds like the best thing to do is not post on her FB page.

Yes, I've realised that. It's a shame though because I do have a RL friendship with her.

That's a shame, I would be worried too. I don't have any suggestions apart from letting her see the messages which might make her realise?

Some of these people give her a lot of trouble as well which is what concerns me too.

She has inside pictures of her home and family which give away too much I think. Autistic people tend not to have much of a filter sometimes.

I wouldn't unfriend her but I will unfollow because commenting on her posts is giving me trouble. It's to do with the context. When someone's RL friend you think you can let your guard down & you don't expect to get stress.

I just wondered how common this kind of thing is nowadays.

Honestly, us oldsters managed to maintain friendships without Facebook or indeed without any sort of social media. Strange but true.

You can still have a real life friendship without Facebook and commenting online. I came off Facebook last year. Don’t miss it. I use other ways to share and keep in touch with friends.

I barely use Facebook

You can keep in touch with her through phone and textx

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon

I barely use Facebook

You can keep in touch with her through phone and textx

You're right. We don't live near each other. I'll suggest that we WhatsApp from now on.

@Silvercatowner

Honestly, us oldsters managed to maintain friendships without Facebook or indeed without any sort of social media. Strange but true.

I completely understand this but autistic people don't live like most people.

The lockdowns were an eye opener for me because I realised that in lockdown my own life hardly changed.

Autistic people tend to conduct our friendships online because we burn out easily.

I'd be a bit concerned about her. As a first step protect yourself from her 'followers' by stopping the interactions on FB, but as a second step I'd be inclined to express my worries to her in person, seeing as she is a RL friend.

I don’t want to upset her but yes maybe I should say something.

Is your main interaction with her through FB at the moment? If so I would just start whatsapping her. You don't need her permission to switch how to reach her. I think she may take offence if you explain that you no longer want to interact on FB. Just snooze or unfollow her and contact another way which is better, and more personal.

You'd be offering her an improved, more personal interaction with you. No need to apologise for this or explain it. If questioned, you miss having a real chat or whatever. I am not dismissing the concern about her safeguarding herself, but it is a conversation to have later, maybe face to face or at least when you have a strong one to one conversation back.