Slaughtered Pegasus

[Jellyfishnchips]

AIBU to read too much into this dream? It made me feel so sad when I woke up and has been on my mind today. In the dream a Pegasus was captured and had its wings clipped, then every feather was painfully pulled out one by one. Eventually it’s wings were gone and only bloody stumps remained. The poor creature was then forced to the ground and maimed with cuts until a final slaughter cut to the throat was made, but it was done cruelly shallow so it bled out slowly. The poor thing was in agony but didn’t make a sound and just lay there on its side and couldn’t get away. I tried to call for help but couldn’t speak and was powerless to help.

I’m at a low point, just had a baby and struggling with PND and anxiety. I also have a DD aged 3 and am a full time SAHM, I have lost myself. I don’t know what to say to my health visitor on Tues but need help am struggling to cope, I am so worried they will think I am not able to look after baby although I love her with all of my heart and do everything for her, so I think I can’t say anything. Baby is so lovely and DD going through tough emotional development but is a wonderful lovely girl. I keep mummy brave face, hate them to see me cry. I have said everything is fine before to the midwives and HV, as scared to be honest only my DH knows how much I struggle. It’s silly to say anything when I’m just tired, it’s just tiredness and body trashed after child birth but don’t know what to do. Will anti depressants help me? I am worried the medication go into my breast milk and harm baby. Is it normal to feel like drowning in between otherwise ‘good’ days?

That sounds horrid , I have terrible dreams if I am stressed or over tired , they usually involve me trying , but failing to save someone's life , often its someone I know but not closely , so a x boss , person I see on the buss from time to time , a old neighbour etc .
It was particularly bad just after my DH died , but it was never him I was trying to save . ( I had them before he died so I am not reliving or worrying about that )

I would have a chat with your HV, they may recommend some mild anti depressants or sleeping pills .
I did not try Anti D' but I did try sleeping pills for a short while but they just knocked me out and I always felt groggy and befuddled for a hour or so when I woke up , a bit like when you have been put under Gen Aesthetic

I think you should talk to your hv, if you don't know what to say then just read out the second para of your post. I know that feeling of being scared of what they will think, but they do want to help. I felt like you after my twins were born, awful anxiety, citalopram REALLY helped. Good luck op, please do talk to your hv.

YABU

Thank you AlCalavicci and ladygindiva, makes me feel better to not feel so alone. Have had a cascade of anxiety dreams, pretty much every night the last month and its just getting to me now, I know it’s just the stresses, pressures and exhaustion from the day fuelling it as I don’t normally have bad dreams. Also not sleeping much with night feeding, baby waking every 2-3 hours. Sleeping pills I don’t think I can take with night feeding as need to be up. Can I ask did you breastfeed ladygindiva when taking Citalopram? I feel like I need something but worried about it going into my milk

No I wasn't feeding, but I know there are anti anxiety and anti depression meds that are compatible with breastfeeding, citalopram may be one of them but I'm not sure. But there are definitely some. Do talk to your hv. They will have heard this before, probably often, and will help. Hugs to you x you're definitely not alone, this happens to many of us xxx

Thank you, I will try not to worry about speaking to me HV, you are right they will hopefully not judge me for struggling to cope and might be able to let me know what the options re: medications for breastfeeding mums or other things that might help.

I’m even putting off going to bed now though am desperately tired, and baby will be waking for milk soon. Struggling with stress and lowness in the day I just don’t want to be battling it in my mind when sleeping too so end up staying up late just to get some peace when both DC are asleep. Is costly the next day though, as wind up feeling more and more tired and I think that feeds into the anxiety.

I’m so sorry AlCalavicci that you lost your husband and hope you are managing ok. Sorry you also struggled with disturbing dreams and hope they are better for you now

@Jellyfishnchips ,
I hope you managed to get a good night's sleep .

Your HV certainly should not judge you for struggling , hopefully they will be able to offer you both practical and if you need it some contact numbers where you can talk to others in the same situation or help groups.