Colleague issue or just oversensitive?

[ppeony]

I work mainly in a small task-based team of three. There used to be two of us—I’m late twenties and my colleague (Colleague A) late fifties at a guess—however, we were joined by another colleague last year.
When I first started the job, Colleague A was perfectly polite but didn’t exactly make me feel welcome. Didn’t instigate conversations for example and was just a bit distant. Which was fine, she works hard and I figured it was just her personality.
However, when Colleague B started, the dynamic was immediately weird. Colleague A lavishes B with compliments for her work, even when we’ve all been doing the same work, is always asking her opinions on things, and is just generally very friendly with her. I feel like an absolute spare part most of the times although no one is rude to me and Colleague B treats us equally.

I didn’t really feel fazed by this too much until I started to realise how Colleague A excludes me in meetings, particularly when our line manager is present. We’ll be discussing a problem and she’ll quite often say ‘What do you think, B?’ It’s bizarre! I always feel stumped by it. It’s happened quite a few times so I can’t help but see it as intentional. Our meetings are also over zoom so it’s already pretty easy to feel underheard

I also feel like saying ‘I’m here too’ or ‘Do you want to hear my thoughts’ would just be soo awkward. And by the way I’m not exactly silent in meetings, I still speak up but this exclusion is making me feel tearful and anxious to be honest

Colleague A is not a bully type person and is exactly the person I see myself getting along with. Everyone sees her as a grounded, nice person. I think she just doesn’t like me but surely that’s irrelevant to our work?

Am I overreacting? And how to I respond to this?

Is colleague B a relative of someone more senior by any chance?

Not that I’m aware of. She’s just very vibrant and competent. I’m competent too (but not so vibrant!)

Maybe you are just very different people. I work in a small team and although I'm civil and polite at work some of them aren't the kind of people I'd want to spend any time with outside of work. I wouldn't go so far as to say I don't like them, they just irritate me sometimes. I'm polite but sometimes don't want to join in with their conversations. Maybe that makes me distant and seem a a bit rude.

Personally op, I wouldn't sweat it, just be yourself.

Thanks, I think it’s just the meeting thing that really bothers me. By constantly asking what my other colleague thinks, it shuts me out. I speak up all the same but I wonder what it looks like to my line manager. To me, it just makes my colleague look a bit rude

I'd say 'I'd like to say something here...' and speak. If you have to say that enough times then maybe she will notice. Or 'you've not asked me what I think, but I'd like to make the point that...'

If you're on a zoom call raise the "hand" icon, have your say, if the conversation has moved on before anyone notices that you have your hand raised just say " could we go back to xxx I would just like to add,....."
Your colleague sounds immature and is probably threatened by you. Toughen up & speak up, trust me, you will meet a lot of arseholes in your working life.
Be professional, be friendly and do your best but ignore your colleague.
Remember it's only a job "we work to live not live to work" no job is worth crying over.