Introverts and parenting

[Poppetts1234]

So I’m an introvert. Always thought I was an extrovert but as I’ve grown older I’ve realised the effort I used to put into seem like an extrovert and realised I’m very much an introvert.
I’m at my happiest by myself.

I need time by myself to ‘re-charge’ and being a mum that time is very rare.

I think I’m exhausted just from listening to my child constantly needing something constantly talking and asking questions.
Constantly making small talk with other mums.

Do you think introverted parents find parenting harder?

MN is OBSESSED with being an introvert.

I think the day you just described would leave most people drained, and having small people constantly talking to you is tiring. So no ‘introverts’ don’t find parenting more tiring. It’s pretty standard.

@Fabbydabbydoozey

MN is OBSESSED with being an introvert.

I think the day you just described would leave most people drained, and having small people constantly talking to you is tiring. So no ‘introverts’ don’t find parenting more tiring. It’s pretty standard.

Yep. It’s starting to be quite irritating tbh.

The way some people talk about it you would think being an introvert was a protected characteristic.

We all understand that you find relentlessly socialising difficult. But that doesn’t mean that less introverted people don’t struggle with all these issues.

My daughter is 6 - very loud, very chatty non stop. Only child. Cannot entertain herself.
Apologies new to MN I didn’t realise there were a lot of ‘introvert’ threads.

I love being a mum more than anything in the world but my child is very much the opposite end of the spectrum to me which I find hard.

Sorry I didn’t mean to annoy anyone

I don't find it harder as we get downtime when they go to bed. I'm quite insistent on this.

My son did talk alot though. All the time really. I didn't listen all the time.

I'm sorry if this sounds like hijacking a thread but for personal reasons I looked up the definition of Autism and the NHS website topped the charts. I read it and thought that could also relate to many people for many reasons and came to the conclusion that talking about a spectrum just minimises the impact on families coping with properly autistic children. This thread came across to me a bit as normal reactions for some people being categorised as another kind of" ism" for people to coalesce around.

I’m definitely introvert and struggle with lack of quiet time, but my very extrovert friend also feels the same. I think children are draining regardless of personality type! I think it gets easier as they get older (then they leave home and we’re sad again!)

@JoanWilderbeast

I'm sorry if this sounds like hijacking a thread but for personal reasons I looked up the definition of Autism and the NHS website topped the charts. I read it and thought that could also relate to many people for many reasons and came to the conclusion that talking about a spectrum just minimises the impact on families coping with properly autistic children. This thread came across to me a bit as normal reactions for some people being categorised as another kind of" ism" for people to coalesce around.

I should have used the phrase ‘polar opposites’ rather than spectrum - apologies

I completely understand OP.

I actually sometimes ask DD to stop talking for a while because I need some space to think myself!

I’m reading this while sitting in the dark in my kids’ bedroom while they have fallen asleep - I like this peace before I go downstairs and spend time with my DH.

I didn’t realise how introverted I was until I was a SAHM. Much easier to parent now my kids are more self-sufficient, but when they were toddlers…

I don’t think there are particularly a lot of introvert threads @Poppetts1234, don’t worry about it. Tbh you’re probably going to find a lot of introverts frequenting forums because it’s a very controlled form of communication. You read the conversations in your own head and don’t have the same demands as talking f2f or by text etc.

It’s not that introverts find it harder than extroverts it’s just that parenting doesn’t lend itself to their strengths a lot of the time so it can be a struggle and perhaps take different strategies to deal with it all. I don’t really see the problem with someone recognising they’re an extrovert or introvert either. I know people who freely recognise that they need people around them and would very rarely choose to be alone which can be just as difficult.

Interestingly I recently came across ‘bedtime procrastination’ which is just putting a name to something that people do if they aren’t getting enough time to themselves. I do it - I’ll stay up till stupid times just to be on my own despite being tired and knowing full well that I need to get to bed and get up early with dd. I used to get up early (around 5am) just for a couple of hours with my own headspace till dd developed spidey senses and woke up at the slightest hint of someone awake!

@Cornettoninja

I don’t think there are particularly a lot of introvert threads *@Poppetts1234*, don’t worry about it. Tbh you’re probably going to find a lot of introverts frequenting forums because it’s a very controlled form of communication. You read the conversations in your own head and don’t have the same demands as talking f2f or by text etc.

It’s not that introverts find it harder than extroverts it’s just that parenting doesn’t lend itself to their strengths a lot of the time so it can be a struggle and perhaps take different strategies to deal with it all. I don’t really see the problem with someone recognising they’re an extrovert or introvert either. I know people who freely recognise that they need people around them and would very rarely choose to be alone which can be just as difficult.

Interestingly I recently came across ‘bedtime procrastination’ which is just putting a name to something that people do if they aren’t getting enough time to themselves. I do it - I’ll stay up till stupid times just to be on my own despite being tired and knowing full well that I need to get to bed and get up early with dd. I used to get up early (around 5am) just for a couple of hours with my own headspace till dd developed spidey senses and woke up at the slightest hint of someone awake!

This is interesting - so I do the opposite where I will get up around 4am (2 hours before everyone wakes) just so I have that time for myself

Obviously not every morning! But if I wake up naturally early I take it as an opportunity to get some me time