Are they compulsory? Surely not? Ds is in year 6 and they have a 4 night residential trip. Ds has asd and he does not want to stay. He's pretty adamant on this. School suggested staying one night but still not keen. When he doesn't want to do something, you know about it. He says he can't manage the sounds of the kids - which is true - needs complete silence to wind down ready for bed. School then said he could have his own room but then when he asked about a lamp as doesn't like the total dark, they said it'll be dark. Also, routine is really important to him and he won't get any of his usual routine there. It's also things like self care that he struggles with.
I have tried to encourage him but when DS wants to do something he really does but equally if he doesn't want to. He's very stubborn.
Although I have said he doesn't want to go and I'm not forcing him to do it, they are pretty damn adamant he should try it. Going against what I've said and trying to encourage Ds to go although we've already agreed no.
I'm not against him going but I can't manage if Ds changing his mind last minute because we couldn't afford to pay for it! If he wanted to go we would have spread the costs but it's pretty soon.
School have suggested me bringing him to and from each day which sounds like a great idea if it was closer to home but it's not feasible with work commitments, younger children to get to school and it being so far away (1.5 hours away so 3 hours there and back which would be twice a day so 6 hours travelling a day!). It would be exhausting for everyone including me, dp, DS and younger kids who will be adding on considerable time to their day travelling. Younger Dd is also ok the spectrum.
What am I meant to do? Teacher has been incredibly sarky with me regarding this saying he will miss out. I don't think it's affected the kids who haven't been able to go on residential due to covid has it?!
I never went on residential trips. I wasn't suddenly less independent from not going.
I don't think the school realise how much of a thing it would be for DS. He very rarely has a meltdown at school now so what if something triggered him there? He's extremely selective with food. What if he doesn't eat? There's water activities and he's not a strong swimmer which worries me too.
To add, I think he would hate the activities! He's not an outdoorsy kid at all! Not the best at physical activities and he often doesn't try new things over the fear of not being able to (working on that). I just think he would spend half the day watching the other kids if he's not encouraged.