Contact whilst at university

[Tevion28]

I am prepared to be put in my place but I'm sort of feeling like out of sight out of mind now my ds is at university and its only been a week.
He never contacts me or his dad to see how we are and never answers my messages unless I prompt him. Was wondering what level of contact should he or I be making and what's your own experiences.aibu

Blimey. I'm not surprised. He is starting a ew life and trying to establish friends etc. I'd be expecting a call about once a week.

I think it's important to be led by the student, while also acknowledging that this is a time of adjustment for the parent. You don't want to crowd them, but want reassurance that they are OK.

DS started university this time last year. He has additional challenges (including ASD) that made me worry about how easily he would settle in, and he is not a spontaneous communicator.

I asked him what frequency of communication he thought would be appropriate, and we agreed on this:

• A brief "I'm alive and well" message via WhatsApp every 2-3 days for the first couple of weeks, then around weekly thereafter.
• A short video call about every 2-3 weeks.

Photos of pets have the greatest chance of eliciting a response.

Mine never called unless they wanted something, usually money when they were at university.
To be fair, I enjoyed the peace and quiet 👍

My mother once called security at my halls since I hadn't answered my phone for one - one - day.

I'm sure you're not going to be that parent .

What annoyed me the most was that she would regularly go weeks without calling any of her children because she was busy with work. Then she'd finish a project, think she should check up on us, call us all and panic if one of us didn't answer...

My DD1 kept in touch regularly by text when she was at uni. DD 2 however was hopeless. She hardly ever initiated text exchanges and took ages to reply if I messaged her. Very rare calls too. She has now graduated and has a job and is exactly the same whereas me and DD1 chat almost daily by WhatsApp. I've come to terms with the fact it's just how she is and now we joke about it. As long as he is having fun then settle for what you can get. I found asking very specific questions in my messages elicited a response faster.