Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I just tried to do what I thought was a good deed and feeling gutted

44 replies

Redrosyposy · 26/09/2021 15:17

So I’m struggling financially, me and my family are struggling financially.
Today I was at the laundrette and spotted a £10 note on the floor. I felt that I should just pocket it, but realised that would be immoral (stupid right!) it was neat to the washing machine which a lady had just been using, she’d popped out for a minute or two.
When she came back in about 5 minutes later, I stupidly said “is this your £10 I found on the floor next to the washing machine you’re using?” By the look on her face, I immediately knew it wasn’t hers she said “oh yes” and pocketed it immediately, then proceeded to go next door to buy a pack of fags and a sandwich from the corner shop.
I went off to the supermarket, came back and the same woman was sitting there, chatting to an elderly lady, it’s a tight area anyway, but I politely moved myself through to my machine and the woman I’d given the £10 to said in a very confrontational and rude tone “Excuse me, can you watch where you’re walking, you nearly knocked her over” giving me a filthy look and pointing to the elderly woman, who smiled at me and said “don’t be silly, it’s a small space, it’s fine”.

I could have really done with that £10 today and I’ve just given it to a horrible excuse for a human being.

Really wishing I didn’t have a moral conscience. What an idiot.

OP posts:

Abitofalark · 26/09/2021 17:33

You should have said to the older lady 'Excuse me but have you lost any money here today?' The other one wouldn't have been expecting that!

I found a £10 note in my Sainsbury's local shop and did the right thing (I thought) in handing it in to the staff. I sort of expected them to do the honourable thing and try to find the owner and if not they would return it to me. They never mentioned it again so I will never know but I suspected they just kept it. I would not have been in a position to find the owner myself so there was nothing I could do but hand it in and rely on them.

DisappearingGirl · 26/09/2021 17:34

I think you did the right thing - we found a fiver recently and I ran up to the people in front to ask if they dropped it. They were very honest and said they hadn't. I was with my DC and their friends so I let them split it between them.

I also saw a post on our local Facebook group recently where someone had found some notes on the floor (they didn't specify how much, just the location). They managed to reunite them with the elderly gentleman the belonged to.

So some people are honest! It was the woman who was horrible, not you.

slashlover · 26/09/2021 17:40

When I worked retail (not Sainsburys) there were very strict procedures about what to do. The money would never have been returned to you and after a certain length of time would have been put in the donation tin at the till.

Tal45 · 26/09/2021 17:56

Some people are just bad OP. I doubt she's happy if it's any consolation. I'm sorry you're struggling right now.

Nancydrawn · 26/09/2021 18:03

What a sad person she must be. At the very best, she doesn't realize how cruel she is, and she will go through life shallow and unexamined and surprised when people turn away from her. But chances are she is sad and angry and it comes out like this, and it twinges her brain, which makes her more sad and angry.

Which is to say, you did do the right thing, and you know you did, and if you had pocketed it you would have felt guilty and bad, because you're not a rotten person.

Next time give it to the launderette owner, I suppose. But in the meantime, don't let it drag you down.

Bounce55 · 26/09/2021 18:08

I quite often sing a song after dealing with shitty people

If anyone remembers the theme tune to Blankety Blank......

'People are Cunts, people are Cunts, badoom boom, people are cunts people are cunts, badoom boom, people are cunts people are cunts'.....etc etc

I've even taught my 28 year old DD and we quite often duet if we've encountered a Cunt in the wild and we're appalled by their behaviour

Let it go over your head OP, you're the bigger person.
Keep being a good person, we need those at the moment

Sweetchocolatecandy · 26/09/2021 18:12

Take comfort in knowing that you are a better person than her. I bet if you’d picked it up and kept it you would have felt guilty all day. You did the right thing. If she took it knowing it wasn’t hers and is naturally a rude, obnoxious person then that’s her problem, not yours.

ellyeth · 26/09/2021 18:14

You did the right thing - and it's unfortunate that the woman who said it was hers was a nasty piece of work. I think most people would have told the truth so don't let it mar your view of human beings in general.

I would have kept the money once I had asked everyone around if it was theirs and they'd said no. Don't feel bad about it - give yourself a pat on the back for being a decent and trusting person.

Yesitsbess · 26/09/2021 18:17

How on earth did she get a packet of flags and a sandwich for under a tenner?!

I'm not suspicious. Just shocked!

Chachachawoo · 26/09/2021 18:21

Aaah that's rubbish for you op.
Sorry.
I still like to believe that acts of kindness make the world a better place...
Hope things get better for you

Feelslikealot · 26/09/2021 18:27

At least you didn't steal it. You're the better person.

Getyourownback · 26/09/2021 18:46

@Yesitsbess

How on earth did she get a packet of flags and a sandwich for under a tenner?!

I'm not suspicious. Just shocked!

The OP didn’t suggest the woman only used the tenner to buy these things, she just happened to go and purchase them after stealing the tenner. She probably had other money…

Ashitaka · 26/09/2021 19:09

Where did she buy a sandwich and a packet of fags for a tenner? 2005?

whatwouldsueheckdo · 26/09/2021 19:19

Surely you live by your own morals. Ie not keeping money that isn’t yours.

Your morals don’t change just because of the behaviour of someone else.

SaddenedByItAll · 26/09/2021 19:23

What you did was absolutely the right thing to do
Even if the end recipient was a) not the rightful owner and b) a horrible person

isadoradancing123 · 26/09/2021 19:24

Feeling like the bigger person, nope i would rather have the tenner

ohfook · 26/09/2021 19:28

At the end of the day, she turned herself into a thief for the sake of a tenner and you didn't. Go to bed happy in the knowledge that you have a clear conscience.

I'd have pocketed the tenner immediately & would then be spending tonight getting disapproving looks from my dh who loves the view from the moral high ground, so you're already a kinder person than me.

BoredZelda · 26/09/2021 23:09

At the end of the day, she turned herself into a thief for the sake of a tenner and you didn't.
I'd have pocketed the tenner immediately

You’d pocket money that wasn’t yours? Presumably that would make you a thief?

I also wonder, did OP follow her to the shop?

ohfook · 27/09/2021 21:17

@BoredZelda

At the end of the day, she turned herself into a thief for the sake of a tenner and you didn't. I'd have pocketed the tenner immediately

You’d pocket money that wasn’t yours? Presumably that would make you a thief?

I also wonder, did OP follow her to the shop?

Yes it would. Meeting my husband made me realise that i have a conscience with very low standards and I care a lot more about being seen to be doing the right thing than actually doing it. I am trying to get better though.

Flip

1 2