To want a separate office?

[lemonpolish]

AIBU to say that if DH is WFH permanently then we need an office that is separate, as it is unfair to have to live in a workplace?

We were so so lucky to have finished an extension at the end of 2019 so our house went from 2 bedrooms to 4 bedrooms (we have 9&12yr olds) and we finally had a bedroom bigger than a box so when shit hit the fan the kids had their own spaces (they only went back to school this august), DH took the spare room as an office and I made a corner of my bedroom my work space.

We’re now both WFH all the time and it is a godsend to have separate spaces. I love my bedroom and am perfectly happy having it as my workspace but as PP mentioned I clear the decks at the end of the day, and DH needed to be able to close the door when he has meetings etc.

We’re looking to move and it’s a priority to have office spaces for us both (nature of my work is I need to be in as silent a space as possible so we can’t share a space) and DH particularly would like a garden big enough for an office shed for more of a separation.

Wonderful if you can make it happen for sure

Phone calls and meetings most of the day.

What’s wrong with a garden office? You can get insulated ones that are suitable for all year use.

I don’t think I said there was anything wrong with a garden office?

@Mantlemoose

For personal things - banking, insurance, legal etc I won't be dealing with people who are working from home. I'm aware how much of my work others in my house see and I'm genuinely not comfortable hence why I've been back in office for months. Also a home is a home, it's a different part of my life and I try to leave the work stress at work.

How will you know if you are dealing with someone who is wfh?

We’ve just ordered a garden office for this reason.

It’s looking likely that both of us will now be wfh for the majority of the week and even though we have a spare room I really want somewhere completely separate from the rest of the house. Some of the stuff we deal is very confidential It’s not fair to be constantly be telling the children to keep it down because one of us is on a call or that they can’t bring their friends back home after school and I hate the lack of separation between home and work. I was a huge fan of wfh pre pandemic but I now see that it can have a really detrimental impact on family life.

I also want a proper desk and an ergonomic chair neither of which I can fit into the spare room.

@westcountryboy

I do think you're unreasonable if you don't even want him to work in the house. Sorry I misunderstood.

Is it that he's too noisy or that it restricts the rest of the family and he gets funny about you making noise?

This for me too. I find it slightly strange that you'd rather go through all the hassle of moving house, upsizing etc etc. rather than have him in a room in the house.

We're lucky enough to have a spare bedroom as an office now, but for years the desk was set up in a corner of the bedroom.

You use what you've got....

I'm so glad we had a little garage conversion done when we had our extension done before lockdown as with two of us working from home it has been invaluable. We've not really been given the option to go back to the office. It's annoying how no-one has even asked if we are ok for equipment , I use my own printer etc and no help towards heating costs etc. I guess I am saving a little on not having to park in the city centre but I'm sure over the winter it will cost far more to heat the house.

So agree with this. Both DH and I began to WFH at the start of this and we're working either side of the dining table. I've got a large screen and associated work paperwork. I'm just about to start going back 3 days a week to the office and said in going to pack my big screen away and try working just off the laptop which will be easier to pack away so hopefully we'll get our dining room back.

My line manager actually told me 'well you could convert your loft into a home office, it wouldn't cost much'. Hmmm.

We do have a study, which I used for school, but had to relinquish for H to WFH. That was bad enough and I spent a year seething listening to his booming voice on calls, the fucking and bloodying, telling the kids to get out I’m wooooorking. Really tipped our relationship over the edge tbh. No way in this earth would he be working in a common room, this is our home not an office

@lemonpolish

Phone calls and meetings most of the day.

Ahh he's a noisy inconsiderate one.

No wonder they don't want him back in the office.

I have had to sit next to people like that in open plan offices. In one place I would work in the office kitchen with others rather than the the three desks that were always free, and in other places I went home.

My son works in the kitchen/diner. His partner works in the bedroom. It is not ideal for either of them but I think to expect to move just for the purpose of getting a separate annexe - unless you are really flush with money - is unreasonable.

Does your husband work from home all the time and is it his choice? If it is, then I am more sympathetic to your point of view. I don't think it's great when your home is also a permanent office.

That is why I believe working from home for more than 1 or 2 days will, in the long run, lose its appeal for people who have no separate and comfortable space to work in - and will cause more disagreements with partners and children.

For the reasons @Newnewnew1179 has said

Our current house isn’t set up for WFH. It is unfair everyone else in the house has to live in an office. So the office has to go!

NeedWineNow Well, I hope your line manager is going to arrange for the company to pay for your loft to be converted, otherwise what a cheek.

@lemonpolish

Phone calls and meetings most of the day.

This is why I went back to the office as soon as I could. DH took over the dining room table and the rest of the downstairs was a no go area for me. I had to work upstairs in dds room (because I didn’t want work in our room). And have wrecked me back and shoulders from bad posture before I got a proper desk.

Much prefer the separation of work and home. Gives me more time to think.

DH was also noisy as hell on super important important meetings all bloody day. I counted once.

17 meetings.

A pre meeting meeting. The meeting. A post meeting debrief with the entire team. Then seperate meetings with each team member. Then more calls.

No wonder he never seemed to crack on and do anything.

DH has grumbled about that actually - said less meetings would mean more work!

Still noisy though!

We have recently sold our house which has a separate annexe.
Before the virus an annexe wouldn’t have been much of an asset. However, our buyers said that the reason they viewed the house was because of the annexe and they were prepared to pay above the guide price to ensure that they got the house

My DH has set up an office in the box room. Our second bedroom isn't very big and already has a double bed but I've managed to squeeze an IKEA malm dressing table in there for the few days a week I'm working from home. It's only 41cm deep so not quite as good as a work desk but it keeps our living areas separate. We both have video meetings throughout the day and although I can hear him if I'm quietly working, we've never been able to hear each other while we're both in a meeting.

YANBU. Mine now wfh full time with no intention of ever going back to the office other than for events/one off days. For a while he worked at my dressing table in the bedroom so he was out of the way of my noise. Now we've turned another room into a proper office with cabinets and a desk. He's able to focus much better in a designated space and we don't bother each other noise-wise. It's not good for anyone to mix work and home life like that

I found when I was wfh that I actually did less work than when I’m in the office. I was constantly distracted - laundry needed doing, postie came, dishwasher needed emptying, something on tv at lunchtime….no.

I. The office I’m focussed from 9 through to 1230/1 then focus on me for an hour. Then back to it until 5. Then focus on kids and home.

Can you afford a garden room? We had one installed last summer and it has been great. I use it as an office, gym, and we have a single sofa bed in there too.

I agree, I'm lucky that I can use a loft conversion as a dedicated office during the day without the other residents of the house having to creep about in silence.

I suspect this lack of suitable space will push quite a few people back into the proper office as partners/housemates etc. get fed up.

Of course the real office is often no better. Our office now has absolutely no dividers and lots of hard surfaces. Even with a handful of people in it, it is incredibly noisy. Not sure how people will cope with it back at full capacity.

My DH was working from home and was on phone calls 80% of the day. Although he was in a different room it was still really disruptive and noisy.

He is now back at the office with a better chair, better internet and catering!

We are considering moving house, further from his work and for him to WAH a few days a week. We have decided that this needs to be with a separate office such that the noise isn't an issue. WAH can be a stress on family life even when there is a separate room that can be comandeered.

YANBU!

Nothing unreasonable about that. I think employers who want people to keep WFH should be paying something, given what they can save on office rental/bills/insurance etc. My DH has been working at home since the pandemic started, and bless him, he's happier and more productive here, but yes it is really an imposition in some ways. We have to put the heating on much more as he feels the cold more than me, I have to tiptoe around during his many meetings, we had to upgrade our broadband, buy PC screen, keyboard, desk, chair. I think the company should have paid for these things, and some contribution to higher energy bills. Yes, some are saving a lot on their commuting time and costs, but others don't have the space for it, and it's about time this was addressed properly.