Hosting the next residents association meeting but not willing to give a house tour.

[EchosMum2007]

I am due to host the next residents association meeting at our home we are currently restoring, it’s a fairly large historical property that fell into disrepair under the previous ownership. We’ve got three rooms done so far that are presentable and will be hosting in one of them. The res/ass. was set up (not by me) in order to mitigate a few local planning issues that have been affecting the immediate neighbourhood. The people that will be coming (probably about 10 in total) are all from the same street which is literally a minute walk from my house. I met some of them, incl. the chairman, for the first time at the last meeting hosted at another resident’s home. There’s a fair amount of «small town» politics involved that I would like to stay away from as much as I can help it, as some of it rather toxic, and not everyone that will be coming to my home could be genuine trusted, as far as I can tell from the little interaction I’ve had with some of them so far. Only one couple from the group has been to my house before, who we are friendly with, they were actually the ones who invited me to join their residents association, as ultimately our goals and hopes for the area are the same. I am happy to host the next meeting, however my dilemma is that I absolutely do not want to give all those people a house tour, which they inevitably would ask for. There’s a lot of curiosity about our property, and not all of that curiosity is coming with friendly intentions, let’s put it this way. I’d like to be able to say to them there’s no chance of me showing the group the whole house in various stages of renovation and that we are only hosting in the living room. This may sound like a ridiculous dilemma but I can’t give too much information away to clearly explain the situation and the local politics. How do I politely but firmly tell them that there will be no house tour? Some of them are quite pushy and sneaky and may not necessarily take no for an answer.

Stock MN answer may be "just say no" but your last sentence has me thinking some may wander off and snoop themselves, which would really stress me out in your position!

Can you swap all the door handles for ones with a lock and key? There's no way you'll be able to host and keep an eye on everyone.

I would imagine that the sort of people who join that type of organisation really enjoy and 'appreciate' interesting historical properties so it is going to be difficult to 'forbid' people from looking round ... do you have to host the meeting? Will you be prepared to show them round when the work is completed?

You could say something like 'I will be happy to show you round when the refurbishment is completed' or something like that. But what if someone wanders off to use the bathroom and tries to have a sneaky look round?

Well it just wouldn’t be safe to walk around a worksite, would it? I’d stage it a bit, to be honest. Find the quickest entry point to the room you’d like them to be in, make that path look very ‘I just cleared it for you’.

Don’t mention a tour, and laugh ruefully if anyone else does. Come up with a phrase such as ‘Oh dear, we’re a long way off tours around here. It’s all we can do to get ourselves about safely in the few bits of the place we are still using.’

Shut it down firmly and early. If they insist on asking about your reno, tell them you are enjoying the distraction of the res/ass meeting since building works occupy your head the other 23 hours a day. It’s all in the (polite, smiley, firm) tone.

Or hold the meeting offsite? Say you had loud dusty work going on that day or evening?

I'd be blaming insurance due to the ongoing works.

The best thing would be not to host the meeting. Time to have a positive Covid test in your house!

Don’t mention a tour, and laugh ruefully if anyone else does. Come up with a phrase such as ‘Oh dear, we’re a long way off tours around here. It’s all we can do to get ourselves about safely in the few bits of the place we are still using.

That seems like a good approach. I find tours quite a bizarre concept. It's not something I'd ever known until I visited the house of a colleague I'm friendly with at a different office when I was working there for a bit and they insisted on 'giving me the tour' of a fairly ordinary family home.

So I found myself nodding politely at their new stair carpet and view from the upstairs windows, while thinking 'when are we going to sit down, crack open the wine, and have dinner' .

I’d stage it (as a pp mentioned) so there is no access beyond the route you want them to take. Furniture or empty boxes or a ladder or whatever.

Id also be proactive and say/lie ‘I’d love to give you a tour when all the work is done but at the moment it just isn’t safe/convenient/possible’.

I’m always doing or planning to do something so that day will never come!

Well if it’s a ‘large historical property’ my first thought would be ‘of course people living in the street in a residents association would be interested and why not !?’
But you have a ‘why not’ - is it to do with planning or listing issues? Work being done that someone would object to ? Views about to be altered for them type issues ??
If it were me I’d actually block off the parts you don’t want them in. Have a loo accessible but everything else behind a dust barrier taped off.

I would book the local village hall instead. We have annual residents association meetings and they have never been held in someone's home.

Can you tape plastic dust sheets over the doors and just leave access for the toilets then busy yourself with making teas, coffees while saying over your shoulder that it's all taped off/dangerous?
I wouldn't promise to show them at a later point either. By that time you could get lockable doors.
These things always turn into a bun fight at the end, maybe get a timed agenda sent out first to keep people on track and a definite wrap-up time for a quick turn around to get them out of the door.
The last one I attended ran over 2 hours in someone's flat, the main points had been made in the first 30 minutes and it had spiralled into inane gossip 'his wife drives a Porsche' type stuff while my bladder was screaming. Many people didn't attend the next one.

Don’t have the meeting in your house.

Your problem will be toilet breaks either real or invented. So as people have said either pull out of hosting (whoops, so unfortunate that the builder hit a water pipe) or stage it so the only access is the main room for the meeting and toilets. Do you have older kids or teens. Whack 'em on a beanbag in the hall with an iPad and get them to act as hall monitor.

Ask them to please stick to the rooms you have opened for them as the rest of the rooms are undergoing work and it would be a hazard, it will invalidate insurance and you dont want anyone to trip etc over materials. Talk rubbish basically. Or tell them not to go snooping as you will invite everyone round when the renovations are complete (then never do!)

Forgot to add I would go with PP suggestion of blocking doors with chairs etc. Or big red tape that says "piss off ya nosey bastard"

Don’t host. You won’t be able to stop determined people from sneaking around and if there are possible negative consequences then don’t risk it. “Sorry, as you know we’re having work done and now the xxx has blown / sprung a leak/ etc”.
I’ve had people over and discovered people literally taking things from my bedroom while “looking for the loo”.

Some times you have stand up for what you want and no. I am not doing a tour.
Address it to the whole group at the start of the night. Ladies and gentlemen. For health and safety there will be no tour of the house.

Shut all the doors and zigzag hazard tape across the frames.

mrs that sounds a bit like the final chapter of an Agatha Christie ! Or maybe the first chapter.

Cant you have someone positioned outside the meeting room to guide any nosy buggers to the lav, making sure they don't sniff around

Thanks, everyone! Yes, it is evident I need a butler to keep the nosy ones in check, in the absence of one I’ll have to settle for hazard tape and plastic dust sheets!! Wish me luck and I’ll report back with any “excitement” post the event …