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Original poster

Worst thing a manager has ever said

150 replies

Cosmos123 · 25/09/2021 20:40

A senior partner of one of one of the big 4 on a social evening last week.
He mentions to the new graduate recruits that he spend 3 years in Sweden.

When asked why he was there

He responded 'I wanted to live somewhere where I could blend in'.

Bearing in mind he said this to a young black recruit.
How shocking is that!

OP posts:
Skatastic · 26/09/2021 10:34

I got the sack because the Head Teacher of the school I worked at said I was too nurturing. This was a school for children in care who lived on site 52 weeks a year and had horrific life experiences.

RubiesandRose · 26/09/2021 10:37

External NLP consultant brought in to coach the sales force has an initial one on one meeting with us all, I was the only female. He was about 20years older than me, I was late 20's. His opening line in our meeting was 'what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?'!!

He then was tasked to accompany one of the sales team on a prospective customer visit and chose me. He suggested we drove to the appointment together but I made an excuse and said I would meet him there. To which he replied 'shame I would have enjoyed seeing how you handle a gear stick".

I mentioned it to my male colleagues and one of them told our Sales Director who promptly fired said Consultant.

The shocking thing is that I was so used to this type of behaviour in the 90's that I just laughed him off as a creep and never thought to complain.

cricketmum84 · 26/09/2021 10:39

Working for a very small company back when I was 21. There were 4 of us there.

The MD invited me into his office for a coffee and a chat. Opened with "I interviewed a few different people for this role but you were the only one with those" whilst pointing at my breasts.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 26/09/2021 10:44

Hop away little jungle bunny

It was the 1980s. He was an ex copper given the job due to nepotism. Large UK insurer.

Snaketime · 26/09/2021 10:48

'Normally I don't like you but today you are ok' I was 19 at the time, worked hard and did everything that was asked of me and even stuff that wasn't.

cricketmum84 · 26/09/2021 10:53

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Hop away little jungle bunny

It was the 1980s. He was an ex copper given the job due to nepotism. Large UK insurer.

ShockShockShock omg that's horrendous!!
RainbowBriteUk · 26/09/2021 10:59

The CEO once told me I knew nothing about mental health. This was in a mental health-focused organisation and I have plenty of lived-experience of mental health as well as general knowledge anyway. That really tore at my self-confidence.

Same CEO seemed to hate that I'm quiet and reserved. She thought I should be outgoing (and an arsehole presumably) like the majority of the rest of the very small team.

She blamed me weeks down the line for things she knew was happening and things I had run past her (that weren't wrong anyway).

It was a horrible place that left me suicidal. I'm glad to say I'm in a much better place now with a manager and colleagues I absolutely adore.

notacooldad · 26/09/2021 11:00

Quite a few years now the boss was on mat leave when I was transferred to her team. I heard all these rumours about what a bitch she was but had an open mind. Rumours were right she was nasty.

Me and her worked in a small office away from the careers. One day she was pacing up and down in front of my desk deliberately. She was making me feel uneasy and she knew it. She then said ' I would never have employed you if I wasn't on maternity leave you know.'
I just said, I would never have taken the job anyway. Things didn't get any better after that!
Things got worse when I called for a private meeting with her boss and got one. To make it worse it was held in her office and she wasn't allowed to be part of the meeting. I was asked not to discuss the contents of the meetin 'just yet' which I happily did! This of course infuriated her. I really didn't care, she gave me months of hell on her crazy power trip!

I got a transfer and shortly after she as gone.

Stovetopespresso · 26/09/2021 11:18

@Puffykins whhhy did you spare his blushes?? if only you could rewind the clock!

Clammyclam · 26/09/2021 11:25

Senior manager
We don't employ part time people for this role
If I gave you this promotion there would be too many women in power in this establishment (I did a complain about this)
Another senior manager when going for the same role a few years later, asked in general conversation after discussing something not linked to my plans to apply for promotion - do you plan on having any more children?
I knew what this one was really doing and I wasn't planning on having more- my reply was, you know it's rude to ask women that, she was dumbstruck- I got the promotion though.

These things will never leave me and absolutely impact my attitude to others- I won't repeat this pattern.

girlmom21 · 26/09/2021 11:37

In my early 20's, I had a male colleague in his 40s who kept calling other women in the team slags, telling them they were going to be left on the shelf etc.

I reported it to our line manager who told me that it was because he'd moved into our team from a male-orientated part of the business and that it's something I'd learn to put up with as I grow up...

Polly345 · 26/09/2021 11:50

My ex boss said I should go to my doctor to be tested as he thought I was bi-polar!!

Rosebel · 26/09/2021 12:15

Not my manager but a colleague said to him that she didn't believe I'd had a miscarriage because I didn't look as if I had.
Neither of them knew I could hear and he just responded with oh well I don't know.

Cotswoldmama · 26/09/2021 12:22

When I was about 17/18 my manager said to me 'are you just skinny or anorexic?' she also said to me once 'are you I'll or wearing no makeup?' she was friends with the lady in personnel so I didn't say that that was my main reason for leaving. When my friend went to personnel to ask for a smaller skirt she lifted her top said 'yeah skinny'! They were awful bullies I do remember once a colleague not much older than me having enough once he had a go at her and she cried, it felt like a small win.

Getyourownback · 26/09/2021 13:44

“Are you planning on keeping that pregnancy? I wouldn’t.”

(First, slightly surprise pregnancy, aged 32.).

(Muttered loudly but under breath by same boss) “Jesus fucking Christ. Can’t you be sick in your own time?”

JammyGem · 26/09/2021 14:21

One of the directors made great efforts to tell me how much she disliked children when I announced I was pregame. Even said "no offence but the idea of being pregnant repulses me". She looked so disgusted by me that I went into the toilets and cried.

Just before I left on Mat Leave she announced she was pregnant. It took all I had to congratulate her.

Generalpost · 26/09/2021 14:36

A very long time ago now but l have never forgot it. Manager said my mother can work better than you and she's dead.

Red322 · 26/09/2021 19:56

Manager - I'm not racist but your skin colour is so dark Hmm

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 26/09/2021 23:27

As I was leaning over a table to reach something, he said 'seeing you like that all I can think about is riding you silly'.

This was in front of lots of people, he had no shame in saying it. I was very young, in complete shock and had no idea what to say. I looked around for some support but everyone else looked a but dumbfounded too. This was 20+ years ago. Now I'd have a VERY different reaction.

TopBlogger · 27/09/2021 09:03

@Skatastic

I got the sack because the Head Teacher of the school I worked at said I was too nurturing. This was a school for children in care who lived on site 52 weeks a year and had horrific life experiences.
That is utterly heart-breaking @Skatastic Sad
Brefugee · 27/09/2021 09:37

This was 10 years ago in the Army whilst we were based in Germany.

Mid 80s - somewhere in Germany, troop consisting of 6 women and 30-ish men, 4 of whom were black (the rest of us were white). X-Troop (not really X)

Troop Sgt to much hilarity from Troop SSgt and Troop Lieutenant "report to the armoury and withdraw your personal weapons. For the men that's the SLR, you girls get an SMG. X-tribe report back with your spears"

3 of us asked him if that was necessary. We ended up on extras for weeks. Finally i mentioned it to the Squadron OC but there was no change except i was told that my politics was something I'd better keep to myself if i wanted to get on...

Auroreforet · 27/09/2021 09:49

@trappedsincesundaymorn

Dp's mum had died and the family were having a cremation, followed the next day with the burial of her ashes. When I asked for both days off the reply I got was "can't they just scatter her around the graveyard on Saturday, it's not like she's going to care is it?" The same manager also asked for proof from a colleague that her mum really had been rushed into hospital and was in ICU because " anyone can claim that can't they?"
Reminds me of my boss. NHS so no surprises. Mil had died and we had to travel 200 miles to the funeral. I asked for 2 days off as dh didn't want to leave his df right after the funeral and a long journey home. My boss said 'you don't get travelling time for funerals.' I took 2 days without permission, he never came back to me so I think he knew he was being an idiot.
knackeredcat · 27/09/2021 09:57

I've had pleasantries barked at me such as that I'm useless, my team carried me, I'm slow - no, I was dealing with a sick mother, unrealised trauma that was coming to a gunky head and undiagnosed neurodiverse conditions affecting my memory retention and communication. Utterly toxic boss who ruined a decent workplace and saw me going off sick and leaving.

On moving to England the first couple of temporary roles I was on the receiving end of 1970s style Irish "jokes" - were my ancestors bog trotters, had I a stash of semtex, etc. In a mental health charity. The next one saw a queen bee manager again treat me like a toddler, all "bless, did you not quite understaaaaaaand...?" always in front of an audience. (My symptoms were getting worse and I still didn't know what was wrong with me by this stage.)

Because of such incidents I have real anxiety issues around work itself. I'm doing better now and just started appropriate medication after much hoop jumping, but thankfully I'm finally in a more supportive environment.

TEH82 · 27/09/2021 10:28

On a business trip with director (male) and another female employee while 22 weeks pregnant with a high risk pregnancy- 2 previous babies before 30 weeks and already had an operation in this pregnancy to save baby. Director stops at service station so I can use bathroom and when I got back in the car states if there are any more pregnancies in the office he is going to buy a bottle of vodka and a coat hanger to fix the issue. The only other pregnant person in the office was a young admin lady who was expecting directors child!
I didn’t talk the rest of the journey and didn’t return from maternity leave he then tried to bill me recruiting fees so I reminded him he owed me a whole years annual leave and wanted it back

VladmirsPoutine · 27/09/2021 12:07

These stories are utterly horrific!!!

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