Anal Neighbour - what to do?

[Moonshine5]

Met new neighbours exchanged numbers. They asked for the shed, we said fine. Getting some work done, 2 weeks later he's sent letters to the surveyors making a litany of complaints. Went to see him today for an amicable discussion. He said he's written to planning to complain citing ancient bylaws things like tiles don't match (his are old, ours are new) and theres wood sticking up on skip, on our driveway. Really upset, wanted to move with good vibes. He seems intent on fighting. They told us they never visited the previous owner (80 year old) or went inside his house. He's measured everything and refused to talk.
Go on defence (yanbu) be zen? or attack mode (yabu) solicitors?

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

I think I will do that.
Sometimes you just need to follow your gut instinct. Cheers

Neighbours like him (and ours) like yo go on charm offensive right at the start to see how they can control and manipulate you

The shed question could even have been a method to ascertain how much of a pushover you are

You’ve tried to be normal and amicable but you’re not living next door to normal or amicable

Ignore them. You’re not doing anything wrong

Be polite and greet them if you like, kill them with kindness if you feel better doing so but even when you do, be clear that you’re not doing anything wrong, and they have no right to say anything and they have say in what you’re doing or not doing

The skip won’t be there forever, they need to butt out.

You have had some great advice. Leave them to it. As if they have a say over your house. Bored and with too much time on their hands. Do not engage with them.

Cheers for the feedback. I have many commitments; family, work, etc. I choose to prioritise those and get on with life..

We have one of these OP, even down to the amount of work they've done on their own house. The ONLY way through is, as others have suggested, is to make sure you're complying with all planning laws and local bylaws, then ignore ignore ignore. We ended up muting notification s on his WhatsApp convo too. He had cost us financially and emotionally trying to placate him and eventually we just felt enough was enough.

Although I would second PP's suggestion of shitting in the shed.

@Underamour

'As if they have a say over your house"

@Wilkolampshade

Think I’d putting the shed in the skip but I’m a spiteful bitch!

before you put the shed in the skip, practice your street art, grafitti "nosy neighbours are..."

You certainly should not give him your shed. If he uses that for long enough he'll start making a claim on your garden.

Just don't talk to him anymore. He shouldn't be in your house, or outside, complaining about tiles. Plenty of people never speak to or look at their neighbours beyond an occasional good morning. He sounds like he could cause you a lot of trouble since, after the shed, he thinks you're a pushover.

I’d ignore too. Perhaps they wanted to buy the house or wanted their family member to buy it? Maybe 🤔
On another note I wouldn’t exchange numbers with anyone I was neighbours with unless we became friendly - don’t see the point and of course that then gives them access to intrude into your life by sending unwanted messages - I’d block and delete the number.

I too would ignore them. They would get no more than a "morning" from me.
I would also keep the shed and burn it in front of them if I no longer wanted it.

I'd do the opposite of what everyone else has suggested - I'd kill him with kindness. Big bright smiles and "hello" every time you see him. Ask him if he still wants the shed (if you're happy to give it to him). If the building work is disruptive take him a bottle of wine. Just don't engage in any discussion about the building project - if he raises it just say "I'll leave for the planners to sort out, I'd hate for us to fall out". The planning issue will be resolved in weeks, he will be your neighbour for years to come.

Not the point of the thread, I know, but please don’t put the shed on the skip!
Stick it on Freecycle or a local noticeboard - someone will be along in no time to take it off your hands, and hopefully its removal will be witnessed by your shitty neighbour.

Why inflame a situation, and I also don't think it is that weird asking for the shed if you don't want it, why waste it?

@LOVEMEIMNORMAL

Shit in the shed

this

Don’t give him your shed! Not to be spiteful but because he sounds a pain. What if you give him your shed and he starts complaining about that? “Your shed is dangerous. It could have collapsed on me - I’m going to sue you”, etc etc.

Don’t respond to him. Blank him politely with a friendly ‘Good morning’ but don’t get engaged in any discussions. Be polite but firm. I had neighbours like this and they saw friendliness as weakness.

Smile and comment pointedly on ALL the work done on his house. “ Lovely BIG extension you had done. Must have had LOTS of builders on that.”

He’s trying to assert himself as the dominant one. Just ignore it.

I also cant fathom HOW you’d give someone your shed.

Oh good grief, like everyone else says, ignore him. If he wants to occupy himself being a pedantic, disagreeable wanker, fine. You’re not doing anything wrong, he won’t get anywhere. It’s his time to waste, don’t join in to waste your own.
Don’t give him the shed either.

Shed in the skip / on freecycle for another neighbour (hopefully nice and normal!) to collect.

And ignore him. He will send many many letters about many inane things over your time as neighbours I am afraid. I would keep a record of any dealings you have with him, just in case. And make sure you do everything by the book so you can rest easy that nothing will ever come of his bullshit.

Just don't engage.

We sold a piece of land recently with planning permission and every person in the road objected ,they cited access, too many cars , noise etc and it still went through so I doubt what your neighbour is saying will be taken seriously.

Great advice.

Absolutely ignore but keep a note because it could cross the line into harassment territory.

Do not give him the shed.
Goodness knows what he might accuse you of if it was faulty.

Tell him it is not fit to be passed on.

Only ammunition for more complaints.

He's a bully.

Accept they will NOT be friends, and barely acknowledge them if you have to.

Tell them to go to the council, but don't hesitate to inform the council they are harassing you.

My relatives had one from the basement flat next door to their house (semi detached & not attached to their house with no overhang/shadowing and their work wouldn't affect any of that).

They also kicked off with the planning department and insisted that it would create damp where the two houses met.

Again. Their houses were not connected. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thanks 👍 again everyone. It's reassuring-moving, renovating, life in general!