To think WhatsApp group members should acknowledge message

[Salahdor]

I’m a member of several WhatsApp groups, eg family members group, work team group, street group. The biggest group has 20 members, the smallest has 5. Am I wrong to expect WhatsApp group members to acknowledge posts?

At times I post something and no one replies/acknowledges despite me knowing they’ve seen. Sometimes the messages I post are a “does anyone want this for free” offer. Am I being unreasonable in thinking other group members should acknowledge/reply to these. Even when I’m busy I’ll acknowledge even if by posting an emoji where appropriate . For the bigger group of neighbours I don’t always reply but if someone was offering to give something for example that’s relevant to me (eg unwanted dog food when we have a dog) id acknowledge their offer even to say no but thanks.

Am I unreasonable to expect a reply (and to find not replying rude?)

Sometimes the messages I post are a “does anyone want this for free” offer. Am I being unreasonable in thinking other group members should acknowledge/reply to these.

I think this is unreasonable yes, sorry. You want people who don’t want what you’re offering to say ‘thanks but no thanks’? So that the conversation is full of people saying no? Accepted etiquette here is that if someone does want something they’ll say yes.

It’s different if someone offers you dog food for your dog specifically- “Hey Salahdor, would this dog food be any use to you?” - cos then it would be rude not to say “No thank you, pup only eats X” or whatever.

But a general offer to a wide group - no.

@Salahdor

I can see your point with the group of 20, but at the other end of the scale does the same apply- in a WhatsApp work team of 5?

Yes, the same applies

Eg 'does anyone want this garden thing? Jane I know you're a keen gardener!' Then Jane should respond. But 'does anyone want this garden thing before I put it in the bin for Monday' then it's fine not to respond and if no answer by Monday just bin it

Yes, your expectation is unreasonable, and pretty needy.

If someone posts "does anyone want this for free", I'd only respond if I wanted it. Nobody wants to be in a Whatsapp which is giving you 20 notifications a day, 19 of which are "no thanks".

This reminds me actually of a very recent "transaction" on Facebook.

A mum in my village posted on FB "Does anyone want a Beavers uniform jumper?"

A friend/mum messaged me on WhatsApp to say "go on Facebook because xxxxx is offering a beavers jumper I think your son could use it"
I replied "thank you" on WhatsApp.

I then went onto FB to say "yes please" under the jumper post. I was the only reply in that post. The mum who messaged me did not reply under the Facebook post.

This is all completely normal messaging behaviour.

Just going to clutter up the group. I'm in a biggish group where the main requestor type person specifically asks people only to reply if it's a yes.

Gosh that's crazy. The norm is for people who want the item to reply. Not everyone to have to thank you for something they didn't want or ask for in the first place.

It's very demanding, clogs up the chat, and you end up either having to scroll through dozens of messages or put up with 20 notifications about something you aren't interested in.

Better to leave a post on a community freebie group/freecycle or donate to charity.

If every single person replied saying no, you’d be greeting about too many notifications etc.

@Salahdor

I can see your point with the group of 20, but at the other end of the scale does the same apply- in a WhatsApp work team of 5?

Depends what the message/question is, surely.

You: I’ve posted the X to Y.

If it was really important to me, or I’d specifically asked you to do it, I’d reply with a thanks or an emoji. If it was just an FYI, I’d not bother.

But if it’s more

You: Can anyone tell me X cos I’m struggling with Y?

I’d expect an answer if I were you, even if just an acknowledgment- because you’re specifically asking for something.

People spend their lives in a constant overload of information and communication.

This is why I don't join WhatsApp groups of course.

Op are you specifically talking about when you offer something for free or was that just an example?
I wouldn’t reply if I didn’t want the item mentioned. However if we were in a friends WhatsApp group and you posted about say going for a walk tomorrow then yes I would reply even if I couldn’t make it. So ‘sorry I can’t make it, hope you have a good walk’.
So actually spend 10 seconds replying to a friend.
It does actually irritate me when friends/family read your message immediately but don’t even reply with say a smiley face.

Maybe word your questions better. "If you'd like this, let me know" That means you'll only get answers if someone is actually interested. Even in a group of 5 I wouldn't say 'no' to a simple question. It's unnecessary

Depends

' big news/something I am interested in' yes I will reply

'Does anyone know?.. does anyone want. If I don't want or know. Then I won't reply.

I'm in around 20 different WhatsApp groups. I can't keep up with them all

I find it rude to judge others as rude for not meeting your peculiar, high-maintenence expectations.

I can't BEAR endless unnecessary messages simply to acknowledge a message rather than actually saying something relevant, in WhatsApp groups. In the example you've given, if 20 people replied to someone saying they didn't want an item they'd offered, I'd mute (and be tempted to leave) the group immediately! Surely if nobody replies, it's obvious nobody wants it.

If someone is offering something I don’t really understand why half a dozen nil responses are required.

YABU. The thing about replying in a group is that all goes to all members!!! Why on earth do you think that all 5-20 people in a group would want a further 4-19 messages from everyone else Who even has time for that?! All that will happen is people will start to mute the chat and the group will die out.
If you want an individual acknowledgment then you need to send individual messages to people.

If you are saying "does anyone want this?" I would probably not reply to say no and I tend to be good at replying to messages.

YABU

I hate WhatsApp groups for this reason and silence them all so I only get notifications if someone 'tags' me. I'll read them when I go onto WhatsApp.

You are BVVU 🙄🙄🙄

I hate massive WhatsApp chats and rarely talk in any of them.

If I can leave without being rude, I do.

I'm in a work group with about 30 people. There's nothing worse than someone putting something on there then your phone pinging a further 30 times with people saying "ok" or "thanks." I end up muting!!

Ah god, no thank you. I can't bear a be string of ok's.

Yabu!!!

So so unreasonable.

I can't stand it when someone says 'can anyone do x?' For example, then hundreds of 'no, sorry' etc etc ping ping ping ping.

I vehemently disagree with you. Respond ONLY if you can help the questioner in some way.

Do you honestly want or need your phone to be pinging every five minutes?

No, it drives me up the wall when a thread is filled with thumbs up or emojis with not benifit or contribution to the conversation. Reply if required. Otherwise stay quiet.