“What do you expect living on a council estate”

[Sukiez]

Is the reply I got from a friend when I moaned to her about my neighbours. Basically me, my dh and 2 dc moved to a new house in April and although the area itself is ok, picture a small estate, lots of trees, a park round the corner and an allotment that the elderly people in the street set up for everyone to work on including the kids as they have chickens and a veggie patch. But as is the case in a lot of areas private rented, owned or council, you often get a few inconsiderate neighbours who spoil things for other people.

So, we are in a semi detached house and there are rows of them around our street. The neighbours next door but one on both sides are lovely, they make an effort to talk to you, their kids seem nice and you don’t hear much noise from them. Then you have people like those who are adjoined to us, the ones across from us and the ones directly at the back of us.

The neighbours adjoined to us are, putting is a nicely as I can, an absolute nightmare. Living there are a couple and their two teenage/adult sons. The couple are either arguing all the time (with their windows and doors open) or pissed out of their heads partying loudly in their garden declaring their undying love for each other. The dad and older son also smoke weed which we can often smell in our house. The neighbours across from us and at the back party almost every weekend. I don’t begrudge anyone enjoying themselves but this isn’t just a few people having fun playing a bit of low level music, oh know, it’s full on partying screaming shouting you name it. The ones across from us have 4 or 5 kids who play out in the street and they are huge trouble makers. They have upset my dd a few times calling her names and regularly cause trouble with the other kids who play out.

Now AIBU to think that this type of behaviour from these sort of people isn’t simply because of the fact we all live in council houses? We previously lived on a very big council estate, I’m talking years back now but we lived there for quite a long time and we didn’t experience anything like we are right now. We finally managed to save a deposit and moved into private rented but it became unaffordable for us. We know we are lucky to have a permanent home but my anxiety has gone though the roof since we moved here as I just can’t relax with all the noise, partying, kids screaming, adults shouting etc. I want to move but my dh insists we should stay as we have worked hard on the house to make it nice which has taken a lot out of us financially emotionally etc. I don’t want to have to move my dc again but I don’t think I can life like this much longer.

Neighbours can make life miserable anywhere. Your friend is horrible.

When I was at university, I had to live next door to someone who was nocturnal. He would stay up all night playing very loud music and making a lot of noise with his GF. And sometimes he would bang stuff around - furniture etc. He was a gigantic scary guy and I didn't dare say anything to him. You can learn to live with noise - every single night through that year of my degree, I slept with very loud noise that I learnt to ignore. He failed his exams and got kicked out.

YABU

You are right. It is not because it's a council estate. Your friend is a bit of a snob.
Arseholes are everywhere.

Grew up in a council estate and have many old friends still there or thereabout. I expect the same behavior as anywhere else council or private. Bad behaviour is not limited to Council Estates and like anywhere you have to pick and choose where you live and hope you are next to reasonable people

We lived in a 4 bed detached on a private estate and neighbours were awful. Loud parties, arguing teens. It doesn't matter where you live. If you're in rented it's easier to get rid of them.

I live in a new build estate. Moved in before it finished.

Once almost fully occupied we had a lot of trouble with a few neighbours/residents.

One lady on the street would moan to all that would listen that it was a problem of having X amount of social housing in new estates.

She wasn't quite sure what to say when I informed her I was the HA block and those residents were private - like her!

Hmm. I know it’s right on to agree with you but my life experience is otherwise. Our first flat was adjacent to a council estate and our neighbors were a ducking nightmare too. Drug dealing swearing gangsta rap out of control staffy dog fight in the street. Neighbors like that can turn you from a right on leftie type to err not.

We were extreme snobby when buying our forever house not going through that again. Now all we hear is the odd tinkling laugh and gentle discussion about gardening from the retired doctors next door. Bliss.

My sister lives in an awfully posh area. The large house directly opposite deals drugs. To be fair, they're quite discreet apart from the amount of vehicles coming and going, the frequent raids, the junkies who can't get any more credit turning up, the fighting, the arguing etc.

Oh I live in an ex LA house. My neighbours are fine, I'm probably the worst one as we have lots of cars :)

Everyone has the right to live without ASB.

If they are housing association tenants log an asb complaint and keep a diary of all events.

Your friend is a snob

Had she kept her snobbery hidden up until then?

Ps it’s easier for HA to take action within the first 12mths if they are on a starter tenancy.

She is an idiot but unfortunately isn't alone in her thinking.
Everyone has a right to a peaceful life yet drug dealing and antisocial behaviour is fair game in council estates, not my opinion, I've heard it often.
If school DC were passing drug dealer's anywhere else it'd be stopped.

Your friends a snob, it can happen absolutely anywhere, just because people have enough money to buy their own home doesn't mean they are going to be decent neighbours.
My sisters recently moved into a beautiful new build home on a really posh estate and her next door neighbours are horrendous, they've already had the police out twice in the past couple of months.
We private rent in a mostly council house estate and it's the quietest place we've ever lived, you wouldn't even know we had next door neighbours. It really is the luck of the draw.

It's varied. Unfortunately thanks to successive governments going back 40 years attacking secure affordable housing, the consequent public health housing emergency has led to some 'problem' families being dumped on 'sink' estates. But then there are many social housing estates without the stereotyped worst issues (or at least no more than anywhere else).

I used to live in a very expensive area. The neighbour opposite was a nightmare. Trustafarian who didn't seem to work. Lived in his parents large million plus house. Loud parties weeknights, shouting, banging, all sorts.

Agree with pp. Sadly inconsiderate and/or loud neighbours are found in all walks of life. Even our Prime Minister. Remember when his neighbours had to call the police after hearing loud shouting and swearing.

I feel your pain OP. I once lived in a terraced house that backed onto a house where the local steel drum band practised in the back garden. I love steel drum music but not until 2am.

I bought my first house ex council years ago, the neighbours were lovely. Always spoke to me. I’d move back in a heartbeat. Now I live in a newish housing estate and hate it. The neighbours don’t speak, the man next door is awful. You can get shit neighbours anywhere.

I live in a 5 bed 7 bathroom house, not because I am posh but my job provides it. I live in the Middle East and my neighbours are locals and richer than I could dream of. They are a, let's say rowdy bunch. 12 kids and lots of cars and kids. Neighbours are neighbours across the board and I don't really mind them apart from the revving of sports cars at 2am

@Dfhugdhvdnjrs

YABU

How exactly is op being unreasonable?

There are bad neighbours everywhere.
My parents were both brought up on council estates. My exDH was.
I've lived on them all over the UK:
I've also lived on private estates all over.
In my experience you are far more likely to meet arseholes on council estates.

That is unfortunate. We live in a semi-detached, we're council, but next door are short-time private rentals. Some very lovely people, but the latest had to go because of domestic violence. At first they seemed to ba an ok family, but later... it was very unpleasan to witness.

Everyone has the right to live without ASB

Local councils need to clamp down on anti social behavior as soon as it starts.

I think you get arsehole neighbours anywhere and it is often luck of the drawer.

I live on a 5050 private/HA housing estate with approx 18 houses. We have issues with one and they certainly aren't too horrendous. They like their music but to be fair it is turned off by midnight at the latest. They also like to smoke weed but that doesn't affect me.

My parents live in a cul de sac just off sandbanks. Million pound homes. Attached is a diagram to explain their issues.

Number 1 aren't an issue as it is a holiday home so 40 weeks a year they aren't here. The weeks they are they park horrifically but it could be worse.

Number 2 is owned by a very wealthy Dutch man whose 30-something daughter lives there. She is horrendous. Loud parties at all times. Screaming fights in the street with current boyfriend. Horrendously spoilt.

Number 3 are my parents.

Number 4 think they own the place, horrid about parking, even when wrong. Horrid about the neighbours. They don't particularly do anything wrong but they are not nice people, they make everyone uncomfortable as it is quite low level but Persistent unpleasant.

Number 4 is also owned by Dutch man and his son lives in this one. Not as bad as his sister luckily.

Number 5 is rented out as an air b'n'b.

I would argue that their neighbours are far worse. It is just sometimes luck of the draw :(

I also think my little estate fares better because its a mix so the HA are expected to ensure there are no issues whereas it is easier to not act in entire council housing roads

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

There are bad neighbours everywhere. My parents were both brought up on council estates. My exDH was. I've lived on them all over the UK: I've also lived on private estates all over. In my experience you are far more likely to meet arseholes on council estates.

I wondered that too.. Quote from Alice fits.. He only does it to annoy because he knows it teases