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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Work issues

24 replies

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 12:58

This isn't a drastic and terrible situation. It's just bugging me a bit and I feel like a need some impartial advice! For obvious reasons, I don't want to bring it up with anyone at work, and I also don't think my friends and family are best placed to be impartial, as they'll probably take my "side"!

My line manager - relatively new line manager, since I've just transferred to another department in the same organisation - doesn't like me very much, which is fine. They don't have to like me - but I very much am treading on eggshells around them, which gets wearing. In my previous position I had a lot more autonomy, but this line manager prefers me to check with them before doing anything - which can be a bit wearing.

Line manager has been kind of off sick but kind of working from home this week. There have been a lot of issues in the organisation and it's a busy period, so there's a lot of extra stuff that needs doing. I've offered to pick some of this up so that problems don't escalate, but they've declined, even though it is very basic stuff (i.e. sending holding emails) which I am able to do.

The issue is that, because they've been off, a lot of stuff just isn't getting done. This will ultimately create issues for me as well, since we'll be going into next week with a huge backlog. I'd feel much better about it if I had been able to attend to some of the stuff yesterday, but line manager had expressly told me not to.

I don't know how long this situation is going to continue and I feel like it is going to cause a lot of problems in work. But I don't know what I can actually do about it! That's my AIBU, I guess. AIBU to be worrying about this or AIBU if I just do nothing and say "not my concern"?

For context, my position is relatively senior, well-paid and I (should) have autonomy to make decisions as appropriate to the demands of the role.

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 25/09/2021 13:09

She doesn't know you well enough yet to let you have the autonomy yet If she is still partially wfh then she may feel you "offering" to pick up the slack is a criticism of her hence her turning that offer down.

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 13:14

I don't think I made it sound like a criticism but perhaps it was taken that way. The tasks I offered to do were really basic things - things which tbh according to my JD I should probably be doing anyway.

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Aprilx · 25/09/2021 13:18

@AllChangePleaseAllChange

I don't think I made it sound like a criticism but perhaps it was taken that way. The tasks I offered to do were really basic things - things which tbh according to my JD I should probably be doing anyway.
If it is in your JD then why do you need to ask permission to do it? It is kind of hard to comment on the situation without knowing what your job is and what you are suggesting you do, what on earth is a “holding email” for example?
AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 13:23

Holding email as in: this is being addressed, apologies for the hold up, should be sorted by X time on X date type thing.

I have to ask because my LM has told me not to do anything without checking with them first.

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Westerman · 25/09/2021 13:34

It doesn't matter if she doesn't know you very well. You're a senior member of staff and should be able to get on with your job.

I suppose she should be the first person you approach, to ask why this is happening, before you go over her head or to HR.

RandomMess · 25/09/2021 13:37

LM sounds like a control freak!

topcat2014 · 25/09/2021 13:40

Sounds like they should not be managing anyone.

I leave my team to do their day jobs. They bring stuff to me if they need direction or assistance.

I ask not to be routinely 'copied in' on their correspondence.

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 13:48

I kind of feel that I'm not trusted to do anything independently - which is a little demoralising. But I just don't see how to bring it up in a non-acrimonious way.

I understand that I'm relatively new and they "don't know if they can trust me", but at the moment it feels like I'm a junior intern and I don't really know how I can demonstrate my capability in these circumstances. Ha, I know that sounds a bit precious and I'd have to find a more subtle way of phrasing it at work.

The situation with the backlog is stressful to me because, ultimately I will also have to deal with it and may be blamed for it. I was frustrated yesterday because there were numerous things I could have done and I spent a good hour or so (across the day) sat waiting for my LM to come back online and give me "instructions", which is not great use of time during one of the busiest periods in the year.

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AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 14:23

I miss my old department, if I'm honest!

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IWentAwayIStayedAway · 25/09/2021 14:52

Have you email audit trail if her instructions?

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 14:57

Yep.

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Gazelda · 25/09/2021 15:03

Is she off sick, or working from home while poorly?

If she's been signed off, then your responsibility is to act in the best interest of the company. Which might mean sending holding emails etc. That would be perfectly justifiable.

If she's wfh while poorly, then it's a bit trickier. Would it be appropriate to ask for off the record advice from your previous LM?

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 15:23

They are working from home while unwell, or have been on some days, so it is indeed a bit trickier. (Tbh, I'm not completely sure what's the situation but I get that it is not my business to know.) I guess I could ask my previous LM for advice, but our departments work quite closely so I'm a little bit wary of being unprofessional...

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AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 17:04

Basically, I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but at the same time, the situation feels problematic. Maybe only because I'm making it so - I don't know.

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HundredMilesAnHour · 25/09/2021 18:39

If you're also fairly new, it sounds like your former LM may be the only person you could talk to there? In that case, I'd talk to them but start with saying that you don't want to be unprofessional but you need their advice and ask them to keep it confidential.

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 18:42

The problem is that my former LM does have to work on occasion quite closely with new LM - so I'm not too sure if it would really be the best idea, in that I wouldn't want to have to put former LM in an awkward position.

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AuntieJoyce · 25/09/2021 18:46

Just ask for a 121 when she’s back to review your first xxxx weeks in the department and bring it up as part of discussions

Feels like this is a bigger issue than it needs to be

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 19:13

It just feels like an issue to me because I can't do anything without her permission and I'm constantly getting my knuckles rapped. I just feel as though I'm a 16 year old doing my first Saturday job or something!

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HundredMilesAnHour · 25/09/2021 19:39

I can understand why you think it's an issue. Especially given you're senior. I'd be worrying that I'd be criticised in my annual review for not doing the job expected at a senior level - especially as she seems to be preventing you from doing tasks in your job description. I'd start thinking about covering your arse.

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 19:49

That's it, really. I'm even just worrying about the fact that there's a huge backlog of stuff to deal with and perhaps someone is going to turn round to me next week and ask why I haven't been handling these issues, since it falls within my responsibility to do so. But the fact is LM has told me not to do anything without their instructions, and when I asked if I should attend to X, Y and Z, they said "no, only do as I instruct".

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HundredMilesAnHour · 25/09/2021 20:16

@AllChangePleaseAllChange

That's it, really. I'm even just worrying about the fact that there's a huge backlog of stuff to deal with and perhaps someone is going to turn round to me next week and ask why I haven't been handling these issues, since it falls within my responsibility to do so. But the fact is LM has told me not to do anything without their instructions, and when I asked if I should attend to X, Y and Z, they said "no, only do as I instruct".
Sounds like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I think all you can do is make sure your escalations / concerns to your LM and her responses to her are in writing so you have evidence (which it sounds like you're already doing). And if you're asked why you've haven't been handling the issues, make it clear that your LM has told you not to.

Personally I'd be speaking to my former LM or my LM's boss about my concerns. In the most professional way of course. Sounds like your LM is either ineffective and/or too unwell to be working. Whilst you don't want to be unsupportive/disrespectful, ask yourself if this is a ship you're willing to go down with.

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 25/09/2021 23:56

Good advice, thank you!

I'm just concerned why LM is so wary to let me do work - that they may think I'm totally incapable or something!

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HundredMilesAnHour · 26/09/2021 11:08

@AllChangePleaseAllChange

Good advice, thank you!

I'm just concerned why LM is so wary to let me do work - that they may think I'm totally incapable or something!

It could be that, or it could be any number of other reasons. Maybe they're a bit paranoid as they've previously had direct reports who failed/let them down, maybe they're a control freak, maybe they're a terrible manager, maybe they're out of their depth, etc etc. They bring their own baggage with them and have their own motivations.

All you can do is protect yourself and make sure you're acting appropriately/professionally for your level of seniority. If their behaviour is preventing you doing your job, you need to speak up or you become an easy target for pointing the finger at. Sad but true.

AllChangePleaseAllChange · 12/10/2021 21:52

To update: things have improved in that line manager is now allowing me to actually do more of the duties I am supposed to be doing.

Things have not improved in that they constantly pick at the way I do everything! For example, I will deal with a situation not in the wrong way but maybe not using the precise wording or approach they have in mind, and that is a problem. My voice is a problem. My body language is a problem. If I don't ask questions it is a problem. If I do ask questions it is also a problem. My cough is a problem (it isn't a viral cough but it is still a problem).

It is starting to grate a little bit!

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