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AIBU?

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Original poster

How does my phone know?! AIBU to be freaked out by this.

57 replies

OuiOuiBonjour · 25/09/2021 11:41

Yesterday I was driving with my Mum, I live in a small town with barely the basic shops in it as almost everything has closed.

I got stuck in traffic lights for a while.

A woman came out of a beauty salon, evidently to lock up. She was around 12 metres away wearing a very unusual item of clothing. If I'm honest it was a bit bizarre. I have never seen any one wearing anything like it. It was a cross between a puffer gilet and a dress (to her knees), rose gold metallic material and it had some sort of writing emblazoning the edges in a bold bias type tape.

My exact words were,

"I wouldn't wear that but I think Katie would like it. It's very unusual. Do you think it's Victoria's Secret Pink? It looks like the kind of thing I've seen there in America."

My Mum said, "It could be. The writing might say Love Pink but I can't make it out."

My phone (iphone XS) was in the back of my car in a bag. My Mum didn't have hers and it's a dumb phone anyway.

That was the only conversation. The lights changed and we moved after a minute or so.

Just now, here on MN, I've had an advert for the exact item. From an Italian Designer Website I have never heard of and is definitely not a mainstream company (and definitely not VS Pink). It's an item of clothing that will never be mainstream. I've never seen anyone wearing it on Instagram or the like so it's not like it's suddenly being worn by influencers and that's why it's on my phone as it's popular.

I saw it with my eyes. My phone was inside a bag. I never said "Rose Gold Metallic Puffer Gilet Dress with bold writing on" - I had no need to describe it. If I'd had received ads for VS pink I would have understood. I didn't google afterwards to find out where it was from, I totally forgot about it until now.

But it's like my phone saw what I saw. But it can't have...so how did it know?!

Recently I also had the thought "I would like to try an Improvisation class". Literally just a thought. None of my other hobbies are remotely related to that. I didn't google it. I didn't speak about it out loud. It was just a thought in my head. The next day I was getting targetted ads for part-time Improv courses and classes in a city 2 hours away.

AIBU to be freaked out and wanting to ditch my phone?

OP posts:
UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 25/09/2021 11:42

Phones listen. I thought that was common knowledge by now!

Original poster
OuiOuiBonjour · 25/09/2021 11:44

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername

Phones listen. I thought that was common knowledge by now!
It is. I know they listen.

But I never described the clothing out loud. I never said "I want to do an improv class".

I saw the first thing. I thought the second one.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 25/09/2021 11:45

It's picked up your thoughts and sightings from the microchip in your Covid vaccine.

Ifyoudontlikeitdosomethingelse · 25/09/2021 11:46

I bet your phone knows you better then you know yourself.

VickyEadieofThigh · 25/09/2021 11:48

@girlmom21

It's picked up your thoughts and sightings from the microchip in your Covid vaccine.
Grin
EarringsandLipstick · 25/09/2021 11:51

It just a coincidence that you are attaching an interpretation to.

TimeForTeaAndG · 25/09/2021 11:51

Phone data cross matches against other phone data around it. Links up to purchases etc. There's a good explanation floating around on Facebook about how this happens. They don't listen per se.

I'd been at my in-laws and commented about their new lamp and how I'd like one. When I got home and searched for lamps the first hit was the link to the in-law's lamp.

Mynameismargot · 25/09/2021 11:53

Do you think that your phone is reading your mind?

InpatientGardener · 25/09/2021 11:53

I have a Samsung and kept getting adverts weirdly related to things id talked about, turned off Google assist and it stopped! Not sure what the iPhone version is, maybe siri?

TenThousandSpoons · 25/09/2021 11:54

The improv thing must be coincidence - perhaps you’ve seen that ad a few times and it made you think of doing it and then you saw it again and properly noticed it.

The gilet dress thing is a bit freaky.

Gyredjk · 25/09/2021 11:54

Have you got all the advertising stuff switched off and ad blockers on, I never get any of this crap on my iPhone.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 25/09/2021 11:55

Phones are mind readers.

waterrat · 25/09/2021 11:56

There is a real answer here. Phone cross link to other open and shared 3g ads. So you get the same ads that someone near you has as it is done on location.

You may have cross interests with that woman? So you mentioned a brand and she recently googled it and the dress as well?

There was an article recently about this. About a man who got toothpaste adverts for his mums brand after visiting her

MyPatronusIsACat · 25/09/2021 11:57

Happens to me - and everyone I know - all the time. Of course it's listening, and so is your Alexa. Mwaaaa ha ha ha... Grin

#bigbrotheriswatchingyou

TheVolturi · 25/09/2021 11:58

Maybe that shop that you were outside markets /sells those gilet things and the phone thought you were actually at the shop?

Dragonpox · 25/09/2021 11:59

Your phone may have been showing you ads for improv classes before you thought about the. The advers CAUSED you to think about improv not vice versa. You just weren't consciously aware of them.

Original poster
OuiOuiBonjour · 25/09/2021 12:01

@TimeForTeaAndG

Phone data cross matches against other phone data around it. Links up to purchases etc. There's a good explanation floating around on Facebook about how this happens. They don't listen per se.

I'd been at my in-laws and commented about their new lamp and how I'd like one. When I got home and searched for lamps the first hit was the link to the in-law's lamp.

Thank you this actually makes sense.

The position of where my phone is was closer to her than I was (she was nearer my car boot). So if her phone interacted with my phone and she'd recently bought this item from this Italian Website (and maybe even taken a selfie that day of her wearing it), then I can see why it might come up as a suggested item. Especially as we were the same sort of age range and demographic. Maybe the phones thought we were interacting.

The second one one reflection; my thought about the Improv class came a couple of days after I'd listened to a podcast about an American Mental Health Ambassador who had taken Improv classes on the advice of a mentor and it had helped her. I played the podcast on my phone, so I guess it makes sense that my phone knew those words had come up in the podcast, even if I hadn't said them. And also that I'd recently bought this person's book, so I had an interest in them.

I already knew that if I said, "Do you know what I haven't seen in the shops for ages? Doilies!", I'd get 10000 ads for doilies in the next couple of days. I understand the listening thing which is why I have disabled the microphone etc.

OP posts:
SpikeyFloof · 25/09/2021 12:02

I was walking into the swimming pool with the dc and suddenly thought "shit, I forgot to buy goggles". Never said it out loud, just thought it. Literally a second later the Ebay app chimed with a notification about children's goggles!

Original poster
OuiOuiBonjour · 25/09/2021 12:06

No I'd definitely never seen an Improv class suggested beforw and I wouldn't have been interested. I generally click "I don't want to see this ad" when I'm not interested and I know I would have prior to listening to the podcast.

I think it has to be related to the podcast. I studied Psychology to post-grad level and have worked in the field so I understand Confirmation Bias and know this wasn't a case of that.

The shop was a tanning and nail salon, it doesn't sell clothes.

Thanks, the 3G data sharing thing actually makes sense.

OP posts:
Dntevenknowit · 25/09/2021 12:10

Have you had the vaccine? It maybe those microchips that we’ve all now got inside us has linked with your phone and allowed the ad to appear 😂😂😂😂

KrisAkabusi · 25/09/2021 12:10

There's a big case of confirmation bias at play here as well. You've seen two ads this week that are for things you were thinking of. And you think it's amazing/intrusive/spying. But you probably saw 1000 other ads that weren't for things you were thinking of, and you don't attach any significance to this. But if you'd had a conversation about going to France and you saw the ad for weekend breaks in Paris that I have in screen, you'd think the same as you do now, that something is going on. In reality, people in general are really bad at statistics and probability and often see significance where it doesn't exist.

Original poster
OuiOuiBonjour · 25/09/2021 12:11

@waterrat

There is a real answer here. Phone cross link to other open and shared 3g ads. So you get the same ads that someone near you has as it is done on location.

You may have cross interests with that woman? So you mentioned a brand and she recently googled it and the dress as well?

There was an article recently about this. About a man who got toothpaste adverts for his mums brand after visiting her

The last part is why I always click "I don't want to see this ad". I'm always getting ads for things my elderly Dad is interested in or, if I'm round at the same time, my Mum's cleaner!

My Dad recently got ads for OPK sticks and couldn't figure out why Blush.

I suppose I didn't realise this could work at such a long range or while my phone was in a bag in the boot. We were pretty close to a 5g mast at the point. Not sure if that is also relevant.

OP posts:
StarryStarrySocks · 25/09/2021 12:13

I swear this happens to me! A couple of times recently, I've only thought about something (for example, getting a new coat) and bingo! Adverts for coats right there on my phone.

Original poster
OuiOuiBonjour · 25/09/2021 12:15

@Gyredjk

Have you got all the advertising stuff switched off and ad blockers on, I never get any of this crap on my iPhone.
I'm going to do that now.

Or go back to a Nokia brick.

OP posts:
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