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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

do you avoid sick people - even if it's not covid!

38 replies

kakeya97 · 25/09/2021 10:55

hello all. I know germs are everywhere - my kids could catch at school etc. I am not just talking about your average cold here.

say you had plans with someone for tomorrow since last week. They've texted to say they are ill with symptoms v - fever, aches, cold symptoms, cough, general fatigue. just feeling rough in general (seems to be going around) and been off work, a bit more than a slight cold but it's okay because they've done a pcr test which is negative and they still want to meet up.

so it's not covid so really you could still meet up because it's 'not covid'

would you still meet? I am reluctant. We generally avoid any illnesses, even my kids. But it's a family member so closer contact would mean potentially catching it.

becoming ill when I have a few important things on this week is not ideal also potentially meaning testing yourself to rule out covid, kids off school etc!

I mean if it was just a sniffle but if they felt unwell enough for a covid test...

OP posts:
Mantlemoose · 25/09/2021 10:59

I wouldn't, just common sense if someone has a virus they should stay home until cleared.

zafferana · 25/09/2021 11:01

I think if they're still experiencing fever, aches, chills etc they should stay at home! And no, YWNBU to ask to reschedule.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 25/09/2021 11:03

Yes and I would cancel plans if sick myself. I’d feel selfish spreading germs around when it can be avoided.

Sn0tnose · 25/09/2021 11:04

Absolutely I’d avoid them. If they’ve felt ill enough to be off work, I haven’t got time for that! Surely their attitude should be ‘I’m ill, I’m happy to meet up if you are, but completely understand if you’d rather rearrange’.

Seeline · 25/09/2021 11:06

I'd cancel. I don't think the other people should be out and about if they still have temperatures - really selfish.

If it's the cold/flu virus my teens have just had, it wiped them out for a good 10 days and the cough remains ( both tested negative in PCR tests). You really don't want it!

zafferana · 25/09/2021 11:07

And just be honest OP - say 'I'd love to see you, but I have a huge amount on at the moment and I'm afraid I simply don't have time to be ill'. Shame on your relative for not being reasonable and suggesting rearranging.

stripetop · 25/09/2021 11:07

Yes I avoid them and yes I would keep mine home.

Vallmo47 · 25/09/2021 11:08

I’d be considerate and cancel in order to keep everyone else healthy.

Original poster
kakeya97 · 25/09/2021 11:08

thanks all. I am being made to look like i'm being ott for not seeing them even if it's 'not covid' because they were looking
forward to it! 😒

OP posts:
DriftGames · 25/09/2021 11:11

DD(22m) and I cancelled plans today which involved her meeting extended family for the first time because we've come down with tonsillitis and hand, foot and mouth disease. We're all so upset that yet again, she cannot meet them (lockdown & we live hundreds of miles apart) so was very much looking forward to today but it's just not worth the risk. YANBU.

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 25/09/2021 11:11

I've always avoided people who are obviously ill with something infectious like cold/flu - doesn't everyone?

I still remember the rage I felt at a work training session - this was just before Covid - when a young man who was coughing and sneezing plonked himself in the seat next to me. I thought 'you're in your 20s, this is something you can go to work with and shake off easily. I'm post-menopausal, if I catch it, it will floor me and take weeks to shake off'. Fortunately I didn't catch it.

SickAndTiredAgain · 25/09/2021 11:13

Yes. But not because I’d be worried about catching it per se. But rather because I’d be worried that if I caught it and got a fever, I’d have to isolate until I got a test. If DD caught it she’d be off nursery etc.
The isolating and having a test would be more of a reason than just not wanting to have a virus.

romdowa · 25/09/2021 11:15

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I'm avoiding all sick people now. Don't care what you have , keep it away from me. I've never understood why people are so keen to share germs

anon12345678901 · 25/09/2021 11:16

I've cancelled plans recently with friends I've been wanting to see for ages because I'm not feeling well, got a rotten cold and I wouldn't want to risk exposing anyone else. It's not fair.
I would cancel tbh and just explain you don't want to risk getting sick

liddlelambsydivey · 25/09/2021 11:30

I avoid any potentially contagious illness and try not to mingle with others when I'm ill. It's just common sense and respect for those around me, imo.

Elieza · 25/09/2021 11:57

You’re doing the right thing avoiding.

If she has a temp, cough and aches I’d be saying those are nasty symptoms you wouldn’t want to get or pass on to vulnerable family members, so I’d avoid her. It’s only common sense. She should be ok with that. You can meet next weekend instead.

Hydrate · 25/09/2021 12:17

Yes, we have for 30 odd years. We all,
well not dh, have chronic illness, and don't want any "extra" bugs if possible.

Yummiliscious · 25/09/2021 12:24

How selfish of them. It’s common sense to avoid being around someone that is ill. Even if you had no plans for the week why would you risk catching whatever they have? Especially during a pandemic, if you catch it and develop the same symptoms then you will have to isolate and get tested. On top of that is it worth feeling ill for the sake of a meet up? They sound spoilt!

SMBH · 25/09/2021 12:26

Yes, as we have done for decades, I sadly had to cancel seeing my CEV sibling earlier this week because we all had nasty start-of-term colds, negative PCR tests. It was a shame but we are used to taking this into account over the years

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/09/2021 12:29

I really don’t like risking illness even outside of covid times! I don’t have time to be ill either!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/09/2021 12:30

At the moment I really want my Dd (12) well so she can have her covid jab when they finally make it to her school!

Notaroadrunner · 25/09/2021 12:33

@kakeya97

thanks all. I am being made to look like i'm being ott for not seeing them even if it's 'not covid' because they were looking forward to it! 😒
Tough shit. Why would you want to catch their cold. They are completely selfish to even consider meeting up, covid or not.
Squirrelblanket · 25/09/2021 12:42

We went on holiday earlier this month. The weekend before, we were due to go to the in-laws. They messaged us a few days before to say they were getting over colds and had tested negative for covid etc. I suggested to my husband that we reschedule the visit as it didn't seem very sensible especially just before a holiday that we'd paid a lot for and were looking forward to.

He didn't want to, and then spent the first week of our holiday with an awful cold. So yeah, I wouldn't risk it.

Squirrelblanket · 25/09/2021 12:44

Also, when we got there one of the in-laws casually mentioned that their best mate had just tested positive for covid and they'd spent the afternoon with them earlier that week. 'It's ok though, we didn't get close to each other.' 🤦🏻‍♀️

zafferana · 25/09/2021 13:04

We self isolated for 10 days before going on holiday in the summer @Squirrelblanket for exactly that reason. People are selfish.

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