I don’t know if this is me being oversensitive or if this is actually some sort of strange passive aggressive behaviour that I can’t understand! Basically I have a colleague, also female. She’s pleasant, as in we’ve never had a big fight etc but I find her comments wierd and I don’t understand them. I’m currently pregnant. She has a son also, she is younger than me. When she found out I was pregnant, she said ‘congratulations! I’m really happy for you’ - all normal. She then over the next couple of weeks probed me generally about being pregnant and kept saying ‘I really am so happy for you, at last’. I asked what she meant by ‘at last’! And she said ‘well with your age.’ We’ve never discussed my lack of kids etc so I found this wierd. In the weeks/months since, she’s made other comments to me along the lines of:
- “I don’t think you will come back to work if you are taking a year off”
- (when talking about my replacement, a male) “I think So&So (the other team member I work with) would work better with him as it’s a more macho environment”
- “You’re looking massive! (Ie bump!) I doubt you’ll get all the way to your maternity leave staying at work”
… these ‘themes’ have been brought up by her multiple times now across different ‘conversations’. Then this morning, possibly the most bizarre yet; she walks past me as I’m having a coffee and eating a banana, and says:
- “you know that bananas make babies huge right! Seriously!” And not said as a joke.. I mean I doubt scientifically that’s true but why does she comment rather than just walk by?!
What is this about really. Am I being oversensitive.. Is she trying to be friendly? It makes me feel uncomfortable when I see her now and I’m waiting for her to open her mouth and make a strange comment! I just try and smile or move the convo on but what is this behaviour?!
xo