My Dsis has bought DD2 a coat for Christmas, DD2 has lots of coats. I said no thank you give it to someone else. She said...

[MarsyChristmas]

no one else would fit it and so it was another one for the wardrobe. WTF?????????????

I just emailed her back to say that it wasn't coming to my house and that I would buy DD2 a present myself!

I mean... how many ways can a woman say NO????????????

Oh Mars I feel disappointed for your DD2, she's just at an age when that sort of thing really matters, esp if she's got a coat she doesn't need and the others get toys. Extra annoying if you've given someone an idea of what would come in handy and they ignore and buy something you have plenty of. Still I know you'll give it to someone who'll get use out of it.

At least she has something to open, last year my horrid older brother turned up with a gift for DS1 and nothing for DD1.

It isn't the coat, is it? It is about a member of your family respecting you, listening to you and showing some consideration and love.

Agree with the handing it straight on. I've got relatives, who buy (very kind of them) but without asking and so, we have 3 lovely coats. So, one bright and shiny coat goes straight to a charity.

Will DD2 have enough over Christmas that this can be a blip. If not, yes, it is down to you to get her something. Relatives can be the pits .

I understand you don't need another coat for your DD but I think you are being a bit over the top about it.

Why not just accept it gratefully with a smile and then decide whether to keep it / EBay it / give it away afterwards? I think it's pretty bad form to say 'it's not coming to my house'. YABU.

Mars just needs to rant - we all do sometimes! hope the wine and late night tele worked

Sis sounds a pain in the arse... Sounds likes she is being lazy tbh, she already has it and doesn't want or can't take it back.

Your DD is hardly likely to be excited about another coat is she!

Rant away Mars

Marsy - I feel for you. My mil piles coats on my girls. I have even resorted to chucking a couple of them out because there is only one second hand store in our town and if I give it to them, my mil will probably see it there. If I say a polite no thank you we have plenty of coats, my mil takes offence. To make it clear, we are talking about dirty, second hand coats.

Is there any chance your dd will actually like the coat, and you could give one of her old ones to charity in its place?

Its the buying something when you asked for something else.

My MIL did this last year - we said no, she bought it anyway, dd hasn't played with it... What a waste

This year she has bought her a dolls house. Lovely idea. That's what we were buying and MIL knew that. And it is huge and we live in a tiny tiny house.

But I can't be bothered to argue. We just need to rethink what we're getting dd.

god take the coat and say thank you

lifes too short

Oooh I have this! We have 6 (I think) coats for DD because people pass them down to her, and then get all offended if she isn't wearing them/I say I don't want another coat.

Tis a joy.

my SIL and dh's brother's wife (is she also my SIL?) are always buying my DDs coats. it is infuriating, it's not like something they don't already have, is it?

and it is a waste - and the money would have been much better spent on something else.

oh well, i gave a whole bag of brand new coats (with tags on) to a Polish orphanage so at least i know they are been well used.

life's too short. think yourself lucky that your children have everything they need.

God, my sister and I just say "right DD needs this", "OK, well how about you get DS this?"

No, it's not exciting, but they are 6m and 20m, who cares and at least we don't double up!

NO, YANBU Marsy.

amidawish, your post has thrown me. Forgive my ignorance, are there Polish orphanages? (If so I would love to donate clothes my kids grow out of)

Mars, I am beginning to think that maybe I am a little like your sis when it comes to my cousins gorgeous litte dd. I am forever buying her clothes, Monsoon, Gap, Mothercare, M&S, if I see something really pretty, that I am sure her little girl would love, I splurge! (I have sons, my only chance to buy girly stuff is my cousins dd) But I also take care now that she is 4 to buy toys and fun presents too. It is just that I cannot help myself, I sometimes see something, and I can picture her dd in that particular outfit, and I just so want her to have it. (Especially being overseas, her choice of shops are very different) Do you think your sister could possibly just really want your dd to have that coat, and when you see it, and when your dd sees it, it will be instant love, and you will all be happy about that coat?

Quintessential - it is an orphanage in Poland that the church was doing a charity collection for, and driving a lorry over full of things they needed.

it felt good! better than many charity shops round here where i am sure everything ends up on e-bay or sold at the next NCT sale by enterprising individuals.

i love getting little outfits etc. for the DDs, but coats? you really can only have 1 or 2 max.

My last comment as clearly some can't see it's simply a rant. I'm not throwing myself off a bridge about it! I was pissed off that once again she's asked what DD would want and gone and gotten the very thing I said she didn't need.

I know that I am lucky my children have most things they need. Of course I'm capable of handing it over to a charity or another person.

I have an older DD with half a dozen coats that she's passed down. DD2 does not need more coats and I was pissed off that she got yet another one rather than some pointless toy she would adore.

The wine and tv helped. I will remember that there is no topic called... I want to have a wee rant and drink wine instead.

It was a light hearted moan that has somehow turned me into a selfish, unappreciative snob! Yes I know life's too short. That's why I posted.

and breathe...................

Thank you Ruby. You made me smile and break my word

5 foot stuffed fluffy unicorn recently voted Best Ever Present chez Enid

We definitely need a topic called 'I want to have a wee rant' on MN...

My ma-in-law does this to me all the time - buys tat off market stalls that I would rather dd ran naked than dress her in - the clothes go to nursery as spares, the coats... go to charity. Pain, innit? As she's my MIL, I can kind of laugh about it. When it's close family, however, it does hurt.

I'm still mildly p-od with my mum for ignoring my request for some piece of Lakeland-related frippery one year (because it wasn't 'presenty' enough) and buying me a William Morris-style owl paperweight. I don't have paperwork and owls freak me out. It's the sort of thing she loves and would love to have received herself, which kind of added insult to injury - but a fluffy 5 foot unicorn... now you're talking!!

"It's doubly irritating because she asked me what DD2 wanted!"

All she heard you say was "yaddah yaddah yaddah.... a coat". So it's clearly all your fault. [snigger]

immodest rubyrioja - oh yes, that's so annoying, we've had at least four huge cuddly toys dumped upon us that have been won through raffles, and they take up so much space ...which is why we get given them in the first place