To want him to learn at home too

[TheBeautifulMoors]

DC 12 is in y8. Due to ASD and anxiety, school gets them to do homework at school in learning support. He’s capable enough if he puts his mind to it but he’s anxiety around making mistakes ( which we are still working on). He needs to be taught things more often than others in order to retain it but he can do huge sums out automatically in no time.

I don’t think no homework at home is good enough at all. He does 30mins or so of learning at the weekend. I’d like him to do an hour of learning after school of maths/ English/ science/ etc a day. I want him to get some GCSEs and if this continues, I’m afraid there’s a possibility he might not get any. (I’m probably being a bit dramatic with the GCSEs bit but I mean a C i.e. 4 at least).

He does oppose because at school, he’s told that he won’t need to do homework as he does it in school.

He currently spends his time after school playing in the garden and on the trampoline. He picks up his laptop a few times a week to practise coding.

Considering the aforementioned issues, aibu? If you don’t think I am, please suggest good apps, books, resources that you’ve used at home for your secondary school children please?
Help!

@Kanaloa

If his homework is mostly incorrect I would actually encourage him to show this to the teacher. I’ve always been a big believer in supporting with homework but only to an extent - if they aren’t able to do it independently and are answering most questions incorrectly then this is something the teacher needs to see as obviously there has been an issue in the teaching of a specific area.

I’ll keep an eye out and see he brings any more homework home. He did not attend this lesson, hence him not knowing the answers. If he’d done this at home in the first place, ( like I made him do), he’d have researched the answers if he didn’t know. I do agree that it’s useful for the teacher to be able to check understanding again through homework

I would be talking to school about why his is doing intervention work during key subject time, especially if not being supported to catch up.

@Thevoiceofreason2021

I never did a jot of homework, but then again I didn’t have additional needs. Grades aren’t the be all and end all. Having activities outside of school that boost his confidence and relive anxiety would properly be of more use to him. Not everyone is cut out for a classical education and I know plenty of people who went down the apprenticeship trades route who are incredibly successful. If he’s doing homework at school maybe you could engage him in activities like wood work?

Good shout, he’s taught woodwork about twice a year by a friend. He’s getting a toolbox for Christmas and we’ll see what useful videos we can try on YouTube. He’s very eager to ‘fix things’ at home

@Tomnooktoldmeto

Both DD and DS with ASD and ADHD use Seneca at home to reinforce classroom learning and help with revision

Signed up. Looks great. Thank you

@Cattitudes

Where do you think his anxiety over making mistakes comes from? My ds is more anxious if I check over his homework. He is yr7 but does most of his homework in school because he likes having a strong boundary between home and school. In my experience of older dc yr8 can be a more fallow year for homework before ramping back up again in yr9. Yr7 the school are trying to train them to do homework, hand it in, detention if not done etc. Yr 8 wasn't quite as pressured, teachers are busy with yr7 and older years so aren't as worried about yr8. My older dc often had less homework and did that homework at school. Maybe talk to the school about whether they would encourage any specific work, and maybe ask other parents if you know any how much their dc are getting.

Try not to turn it into a battle, the school may still be trying to normalise homework and get him less anxious before getting him to do more at home.

Tbh, he’s probably more anxious when I check over his work as he’s to correct any mistakes whereas he’s doesn’t have to do that school. He’s always had this fear for as long as I can remember. He’s so so much better as we’ve worked on it.

Thank you everyone. I’m feeling so much better now than I was in that moment of panic which led me to decide a rigid hour of learning was needed.

I’ve a list of points to talk to school about next week as I’ve a meeting.

I’ll also work with DS to decide what he’d like to do after school and on weekends. Apart from the one day running club we’ve just joined. We need to have a good try at that one!