F***ing menopause

[ProfessorofCunning]

Seriously had enough. GP won’t see me so I can discuss getting help, I’ve only managed to have one phone appointment in the past 6 months and certainly no face to face. I feel like I’m going mad, and it doesn’t help that I have young children who are baring the brunt. Mother’s guilt is adding to my woes. I’m mid 40s and have definitely started going through the menopause during the last 18 months. AIBU to ask what can I do to help myself? I’m overweight but swim 2-3 times a week. I don’t smoke but I know I drink too much, possibly self medicating to drown out my brain. I’m crying nearly everyday and very frustrated at things that I would normally sail through. I don’t know what to do.

Private GP consultation to discuss if medication is appropriate? Then you know whether to keep pushing your NHS practice to see you?

Every sympathy.

I'm afraid I threw money at the problem and had an online consultation with a private clinic ...

I was prescribed HRT and was sent a prescription the next day - a letter has gone to my GP so that future prescriptions will be NHS. I'm one week in now to oestrogen gel and already some symptoms are improving.

I went to the newson clinic which still had a waiting list -but many others are around

Is there a different doctor at the practice you can speak to? My doctor (NHS) was very efficient and on phone consultation prescribes HRT. It has literally changed my life. If I had known I would have pursued it sooner.

Go private to a peri/menopause clinic if you can, and I implore you to stop drinking. For many, many, peri-menopausaul women, alcohol becomes a huge enemy. It disrupts your sleeping, it can lead to weight gain, and it can massively trigger anxiety. Quite often, the sensitivity to alcohol doesn't last forever, but for now, please stop drinking. I am confident you will feel much better if you do.

At our surgery you get who you’re given. We’re very rural and there isn’t much choice. I’m not regarded an emergency so they won’t see me. And wow a private consultation is 1/3 of my monthly wage, let alone paying for medication and follow ups, so that’s not happening.
I know I need to stop drinking, if only for my own general health. I didn’t realise it could play such a big factor in how I’m feeling in regards to exacerbating menopausal symptoms. It explains a lot about my mum too.
Friday cold turkey I suppose.

Does your practice have a Clinical Nurse? Easier to get appointments and I found mine much better than the GPs - and not just for menopause!!

Although I am a big hrt advocate, magnesium works well for anxiety and sleep issues. Agree the alcohol has to go unfortunately - and that's from a woman who was a complete pub going pisshead! 😆 I'd be surprised if I get to 14 units a week now.

Exercise is a must and I'd add strength training to your swimming. Seemingly menopausal brains like whatever hormones are involved in building up muscles - as do the meno-belly and your bones.

I couldn’t get an appointment for 8 months, OP, so I sympathise.

In the end I emailed them about my symptoms and a GP gave me a telephone appointment within two weeks. Was prescribed HRT there and then, and in under a week I already could feel an improvement.

Best of luck!

My friend went via Spire. It was £250 but she had a full 45 min consultation plus follow up and can access her HRT prescription via NHS so no expensive bills. I know it's a lot of money but honestly, well spent. In her words "I feel like a brand new me". I followed suit tho was able to talk to my GP. I too feel like a new person. I have young kids and I wasn't good for anyone before.

Sorry to say this, but your options are:

Put up with it and crack on
Go private
Complain, complain complain. Contact the practice manager, quote NICE guidelines, email, write, telephone until you're seen and they treat you in accordance with the NICE guidance. They are obliged to take the guidelines into account.

Not GP bashing, they're overworked and under resourced, and most are not trained in menopause at all, it's something like one lecture in med school (for something that affects half the population!). Some take an interest in it and are great, some have no clue. It is what is is until the government decide to increase funding for primary care and the medical profession as a whole start to take this stuff seriously. In the meantime, there are various menopause support groups in Facebook that are helpful.

Hope that helps a bit. You are not alone.

NHS is not all bad, in case people feel put off even trying. Though it's obviously very variable!

I eventually plucked up the courage (and found the time to wait on hold) to make a GP appointment. Had a phone call two weeks later with a young female, knowledgeable GP who prescribed HRT after a twenty minute conversation to rule out other possible issues. Not started it yet but I'm hopeful it'll make a difference.