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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To enquire what profession your parents wanted you to take up and whether you followed their advice or did something else.

72 replies

peewitsandy · 23/09/2021 19:03

My mother wanted me to follow her in to teaching, this despite being less than enthused with my choice of Politics at University . Mother wanted me for some reason to be a History teacher .

Fast forward some 23 years since I left University and I have had no Professional Career at all . Consequently I have not worked at all since DD1 was born some 16 years ago.

OP posts:
Subeccoo · 23/09/2021 20:16

Dad wanted me to be a lawyer like him, no chance. Dearly departed mum told everyone from the day I was born I'd be a headteacher. She was wrong but I'm a head of year so not wrong in the education idea.
I've never really thought of anything else I'd ever do, went straight into teaching and still here many moons later

eddiemairswife · 23/09/2021 20:17

Long time ago I was 4 or 5, and I went to the bank with my mother. At that time only male bank clerks were at the front desk, dealing with the public; the women were in rows behind doing the clerical work. My mother said, "That's the work I'd like you to do when you are grown up.". I know why she said that; It was a respectable job and you had to look smart. But I didn't leave school at 14. I did A Levels went to University and went into teaching.

Original poster
peewitsandy · 23/09/2021 20:19

Summer: Yes I feel really unfulfilled at the moment , because basically I ended up working for my ex husbands /father business when I left
Manchester University and living in Manchester/Cheshire for age 19-40 This, before moving to Essex 6 years ago for the children's education and to support my ageing parents who had moved to from Kent. Another thing that gets me down is that my elder sister followed dad into criminal law and prosecutes for the Crown Prosecution Service.

I am thinking of doing a Masters in International Relations because i need something to stimulate me.

OP posts:
Original poster
peewitsandy · 23/09/2021 20:20

Sorry for the typo's

OP posts:
MyCatDribbles · 23/09/2021 20:22

Dad wanted me to get into IT, because that’s what he was in and IT contractors get paid shit loads.
Problem was I hated the thought of that kind of career, money or not. Not me at all. Dad tried to train me, imagine trying to learn something you have literally no interest in and would hate to do as a job!
I ended up doing very well in my chosen field.

LookieLikie · 23/09/2021 20:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Lonecatwithkitten · 23/09/2021 20:23

I was lucky my parents encouraged me to pursue my dreams what ever they were and the same for my sister. I am a vet (the 10th my family over 200 years, but neither my Mum or Dad) and my sister is an construction engineer ( my grandpa who died before she was born was an architect).
My own daughter I have encourage and supported in her dreams which are in performing arts.

Newmumatlast · 23/09/2021 20:25

I may be flamed for this but it isn't my opinion. I wanted to be a teacher but my parents said I was too clever to be and encouraged me towards a higher income profession. I did achieve that in the end, and love my job otherwise I think I would've rebelled, but teaching is something I always have had in the back of my mind as something I would like to do.

bibliomania · 23/09/2021 20:27

Like Ellie, my parents discouraged me from medicine, which I do regret. They said I argued a lot so I should be a lawyer, so I studied law but didn't practice. Worked for NGOs then uni admin. Nearly 50 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

MintJulia · 23/09/2021 20:32

My dad decided I was useless and unemployable Hmm

Instead, 9 O'levels, 3 A'levels, business degree, 35 years career in computing.

I told him he was wrong. He never did listen Grin

Bumpsadaisie · 23/09/2021 20:37

@bibliomania

Like Ellie, my parents discouraged me from medicine, which I do regret. They said I argued a lot so I should be a lawyer, so I studied law but didn't practice. Worked for NGOs then uni admin. Nearly 50 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Why did were they not keen on medicine?
Gingernaut · 23/09/2021 20:39

Loved music and played instruments and sang - there was no support from home for that.

Liked science, wanted to be a lab tech, DM was always disappointed I didn't want to be a nurse.

No career, no job atm and utterly fed up.

UnsuitableHat · 23/09/2021 20:43

My parents wanted me to be a teacher. This was the thing in the world I wished to consider, as I made clear to them when I left uni.
Ten years later I became one.

UnsuitableHat · 23/09/2021 20:43

*the last thing

thetesdybears · 23/09/2021 20:50

My mum & dad didn't want me to leave school at 16. Think she was scared I wld end up in a low paid dead end job. There were no particular careers suggested but to stick in and get good results at school.

She now realises it was the best thing I ever did in leaving. I'm a chartered accountant. I wasn't getting out of bed to go to school/uni for no dosh 😂

Worked full time and went to uni part time at 21. Did some day release then night school along the way. Then did my professional exams. It was hard work but my employers paid all my fees and I had my own house at 22. Worked out well for me doing it this way.

Autumngoldleaf · 23/09/2021 20:52

They never did I can't imagine how trying to impose a career on dc!!

EishetChayil · 23/09/2021 20:54

My mum wanted me to be a lawyer.

She's very embarrassed that I'm a writer/editor instead, and work from home (heaven forbid!)

When people ask her what I do, she says "Oh, she hasn't decided yet". I'M FUCKING 40.

5foot5 · 23/09/2021 20:55

At one point my Dad got it in to his head that accountancy would be a good idea. I think it was because his brother kept banging on about how his son (my cousin) was going to be an accountant because he was good at maths. Dad knew I was pretty good at maths too and thought I might earn loads as an accountant.

I was very underwhelmed by the idea, it didn't appeal at all. However, when there was a careers evening at the local college I went to the accountancy stall for information just to please him. That was as far as it went. I thought it sounded dreadfully dull so I became a Software Developer instead!

Incidentally, cousin turned out to be not quite as hot at maths as his Dad thought so he didn't become a chartered accountant after all - he worked as a turf accountant (bookmaker) instead. Grin

MintyCedric · 23/09/2021 20:59

My mum, who was a pretty high flying PA in London prior to having me (think UK Mad Men kind of company) thought being a secretary/PA was the Holy grail of career options for me.

30 years, a qualification if graphic design and a post grad in journalism later I'm...a school administrator/PA.

Harrumph Sad

bibliomania · 23/09/2021 21:24

Bumps, I'm not sure what they had against medicine. I didn't love chemistry at school - but that's partly not having a good teacher. My mark was still okay. They thought it would be hard work and take a very long time. And if I'd been determined enough, they would have supported me. So in the end, I didn't have my heart set on it and maybe that's what you need.

spinachandchickpea · 23/09/2021 21:38

Dad thought I’d be a good news reader. That, and mum and dad came back from a parents’ evening once and said I should maybe become a diplomat. I said this to my teacher, who said she had said I am diplomatic - not that I ‘should be a diplomat’. They were (are) good parents though and always said I should just try my best. Took an arts degree; ended up in finance; hope to write later once I stop chasing the dollar. They keep me level-headed as though their pleasures are simple dad always says he’s ‘content’, which is now my aspiration.

CandyLeBonBon · 23/09/2021 21:53

Teacher, physio or optician were her choices!

I became a photographer.

Onlyfoolsandhorseswork · 23/09/2021 22:16

Mine wanted me to be a waitress
To the point she’d save clothes and shoes for me to grow into that would be suitable for the job
Then I was to get married and be a sahm
I’ve never been a waitress and I’ve never married
I have been a sahm for periods of my life
Oddly she had high hopes for my brothers-none have lived up to it tho-to her horror,one is a sahd
I’d never do this to my own-they can do whatever they like career wise with my full support
(Doesn’t stop her from trying to force what she thinks they should do onto them-they just ignore her)

MusicTeacherSussex · 23/09/2021 22:19

They wanted me to become a social worker!!!?? But not go to uni. Not sure what they were thinking. They begged me not to go then begged me not to do music, bribed me with a car. Did music, and saved every penny I made from gigs to buy said car myself.

flumpetto · 23/09/2021 22:26

My parents weren't at all ambitious for me or dsis but definitely wanted us to be financially independent.

I did go on to be hugely successful at something for about a decade before burning out and their feelings were mixed. Proud for sure but also alarmed by the success.

Now I am at a senior level in a great organisation with excellent work life balance and it has all worked out swimmingly. But I don't know why they weren't more ambitious for me and found my success a bit daunting when it did come.

I've enjoyed making them proud though

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