Let me start by saying that I know single parents have it tough, I honestly don't know how you do it - I know you just have to, but it must be incredibly difficult. But those of you in a couple, how do you balance life when you both work full time and you/the kids get sick? Or just life in general.
This week I haven't worked at all - felt rubbish Monday and had annual leave anyway as I had a childcare issue which meant I had to have the kids at home. Eldest has just started school and is on the last week of half (2 hour) days. Youngest has some sort of sickness bug that seems to be worse during the night and disappear for large parts of the day (except ongoing clinginess).
I've called in sick the last 3 days and am feeling really guilty about it. I do feel rubbish, but I also know that if I had more support I'd probably feel fine by now and be able to work.
I have stacks of washing to do due to baby throwing up on beds, clothes, pj's, towels etc. DH cooked dinner last night but didn't clean up (common if he ever cooks dinner, and pretty rare for him to clean up if I cook dinner). I've asked him to come home early and he apparently can't, but always seems to manage to get home in time for early football games.
I'm obviously feeling rubbish and probably am being slightly unreasonable. But DH seems to be carrying on as normal, gets up for work, sorts himself out then leaves within 15 minutes, comes home and seems a bit pissed off that I'm expecting more from him than usual - and what I'm expecting isn't all that much tbh. He seems to think because he's working in the office and out 11-12 hours a day that his day is done when he gets home.
I work FT but currently WFH. I pretty much wake/get up as he leaves as he usually wakes the kids. I get the kids ready and dropped at childcare/school (not this week obvs), start work ASAP to try to fit all the hours in, do washing/house organising etc whenever I can fit it in breaks, collect kids, cook dinner, tidy up, make sure we all have clean dry clothes, bills are paid etc. Wash up mostly. We put a kid to bed each. Youngest still doesn't sleep so the only full night I get is if my parents have her (rare).
On a normal week DH will work 5 days, maybe one of those from home (no housework done in lunch breaks- would rather nap or play xbox). I'm lucky if he cooks dinner once a week, and washes up once/twice a week. He might pick up toys a couple of days or hoover, if I seem overwhelmed.
Weekends aren't really any different. I get a very very rare lay in (once a month maybe, and I've usually been awake a while anyway by the time he gets up with the kids).
I just can't help thinking (knowing) that if he was the one sick there is no chance he'd also be looking after the kids FT and carrying on as normal. He'd be recovering in bed and moping about telling everyone how sick he is. It happens, every time he wants an easy day it seems - as he knows I'd look like a dick if I suggest he get up and get on with it while he's dying of some mysterious condition which never strikes when he has something he wants to do.
Sorry, I know its a long one. Am I expecting too much? I don't want to leave him, but would appreciate any practical suggestions on how to manage the inequality in our relationship and bring a bit of balance.