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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend annoyed with me because I don’t ‘like’ her baby photos on facebook

56 replies

Onedaylikethis21 · 23/09/2021 15:59

Friend rang me yesterday to tell me that she is really annoyed with me because I don’t ‘like’ her (endless) baby photos on Facebook. She literally posts 10 a day and frankly, as lovely as the baby is, I am working, raising my own kids and honestly don’t have bloody time to live on facebook.

Is this a thing now? Getting into trouble for how you interact with people on social media! It’s really irritated me to be honest. She’s going to loads of baby stuff and has an Nct group to talk nappies with/ family near by for support etc - my kids are older and I don’t feel a need to interact with every second of her life on social media.

Aibu to feel a bit WTF about it? I am in work and am just getting on with my day!

OP posts:
Littlemissweepy · 23/09/2021 17:07

It depends, can be a bit PA not to if you are on it a lot and you like most other peoples equivalent posts. Not saying this is what you are doing.

10 a day is ridiculous though. I have someone on my friends list who posts pictures of every single frikking dog walk. And I don’t like them as I think the fewer likes she get the more she might realize no one needs to see 15 photos a day of the same dogs.

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 23/09/2021 17:09

Just start writing really weird comments like ‘god doesn’t little Harry look like the milkman here!x’ or critique the lighting and angle of the photos, she’ll never ask again Wink

Horst · 23/09/2021 17:11

A million pictures. Today she wore this dress from so and so. Oh look waiting for dada. Big smiles now dada is home.

I just scroll. Yes you’ve had a baby I liked the birth announcement but you post at least 10pictures in each upload.

And the child looks like a potato and they even pierced its ears. Poor little potato.

AryaStarkWolf · 23/09/2021 17:11

I'm embarrassed for her

Rosesareyellow · 23/09/2021 17:12

I would say "Look, I think your baby is adorable, I really do, and I hope you know that. I don't want to feel under pressure to let you know that via social media".

I just thought the opposite. After getting a ridiculous phone call that that the less kind side of me would be tempted to say ‘sorry, you’re baby just isn’t that cute so I couldn’t in good conscience like the photos…’ I’d say I was joking of course - all babies are cute - but a stupid comment like hers deserves a stupid reply imo.

sonjadog · 23/09/2021 17:17

I had a couple of messages with similar content from FB friends during lockdown. I think it was a sign that they were lonely and feeling isolated. So YANBU for not liking all her posts and you shouldn't feel obliged to start, but try not to get too annoyed with her for bringing it up. I think it is a sign of things not being all well with someone.

Peggytheredhen · 23/09/2021 17:22

I agree, there's something up here with your friend. I don't go on Facebook a lot so by that logic would offending people often by not liking their photos. Except I am not because they are not worrying about it.

LittleGwyneth · 23/09/2021 17:32

It sounds like she's feeling isolated and she's struggling with being a new parent and this is a cry for help. Obviously its VVVV unreasonable, but I would be inclined to think it's based in something deeper than just wanting internet clout.

Smashingspinster · 23/09/2021 17:35

Tell her you do not have time for this shit.

Peggytheredhen · 23/09/2021 18:10

I agree, she may be feeling isolated. I did when I had a baby. It was horrible. I'd feel really sensitive about someone not texting me back. I am not like this at all now! I was just lonely.

ellyeth · 23/09/2021 18:42

I think the "like" facility on Facebook and other sites is tyrannical. The novel "The Circle" (Dave Eggers) shows how people are being controlled by the growing power of the internet and the need for them to respond to positively to posts if they wish to maintain amicable relationships with others. Assessing popularity and depth of friendships by means of the number of "likes" on a social media site is a very dangerous road we are going down in my opinion.

Peggytheredhen · 23/09/2021 18:49

I agree. 'Liking' stuff is just providing Facebook with more data with which to bombard you with targeted ads.

Rosesareyellow · 23/09/2021 18:51

I think the "like" facility on Facebook and other sites is tyrannical.

Maybe not tyrannical but I don’t think it brings out the best thoughts in people - likes are supposed to be a nice thing, but people do read a lot into the numbers and get upset when they don’t get enough - not because they are really bothered by how many people liked it as such, I think it’s more about others knowing how many likes you have - maybe feeling embarrassed for not getting enough - and comparing how many you get to others. This sort of thing doesn’t bother me anymore but as a teenager i have to say it did - I think ‘likes’ on your posts shouldn’t be visible to anyone but you.

Tossblanket · 23/09/2021 19:24

It's tragic.

Honestly fuck social media, it's a scourge.

MyPatronusIsACat · 23/09/2021 19:49

WOW. I would be giving HER a wide berth from now on! What a princess!

MimiDaisy11 · 23/09/2021 19:53

How old is she? It’s very childish.

I have a cute little baby with a natural Mohawk 😂 and I’ve so far avoided putting any pics up on social media.

Cookingbynumbers · 23/09/2021 20:01

I would tell her I haven’t seen any pictures and blame random Facebook algorithms that seem to have a mind of their own. Also that you only look at it a few times a week or some other low amount, so don’t see everything.
I often find myself thinking about someone who I haven’t seen anything from recently in my news feed, go to their page and there’s loads of posts. Fb is a nuisance like that.

Being kind, I might put it down to being at home bored with a new baby, because they can be dull as ditchwater, and maybe struggling a bit as a result. Or it could be that she’s a bit over invested in likes. Either way if a friend actually came out and said anything about likes to me, I would probably just laugh and ask ‘u ok hun?’ But my kids are older now, very few photos permitted.

INeed2P · 23/09/2021 20:31

My BILs partner complained about this - we didn't "like" the scan announcement photo or gender reveal photo. Neither myself or DP use FB regularly, didn't see the post until a mutual friend mentioned it a few days later (we hadn't been shown or sent a scan photo before it was on social media) and we had known she was pregnant since she got a positive result on the test, so approx 18 weeks at that point so it wasn't news to us.

Apparently personal congratulations sent and given in person when she first found out aren't good enough if it's not gushing and in public on FB!

Aquamarine1029 · 23/09/2021 20:33

@RedHelenB

If you're her friend then I'd like the photos. It's a small thing and doesn't take much time I've gone yabu, as I like my friends posts.
Worst advice ever. Ignore this madness.
AliceW89 · 23/09/2021 20:36

Sometimes I wonder if some of the things I’m doing are a bit ‘PFB’

Then I see posts like this and think ‘Nah, I’m cool’

TheOrigRights · 23/09/2021 20:38

@MimiDaisy11

How old is she? It’s very childish.

I have a cute little baby with a natural Mohawk 😂 and I’ve so far avoided putting any pics up on social media.

Can I see you baby please? My youngest is 12 and not at all cute.
Mammaaof · 23/09/2021 20:41

This used to be me 🤣🤣 not with my friends tho but with my Mother in law, by the time I had a second I didn't even have time to post anything, I cringe about saying something now 8 years later 🙈

Thadhiya · 23/09/2021 20:49

She's a dick. Can't you just tell her you're not on it? Tell her that no one under the age of 40 uses Facebook and the only people left on it are thick racists and people who have no personality left other than posting baby pictures.

UnsuitableHat · 23/09/2021 20:51

People who let things like this bother them need to get over it. Try to ignore.

Lollipop444 · 23/09/2021 21:06

Yes I had a friend say the same to me, had I seen her post because I didn’t like it! (Usually posts at least once a day!). And that she’d seen that I’d been on Facebook by my green light being on.

She also said she noticed a mutual friend always liked my posts but not hers!

I wanted to be honest and say it’s because you write cringey gushing posts which make my toes curl, but I actually said oh I didn’t see it, bloody Facebook algorithms! Then went home and liked them all! Yes I’m a doormat!

Secretly think she’s batshit though!