Feeling like a bad Mum tonight

[Newmama93]

I got angry at my baby. He’s only 6 months old and I got angry at him :(

He had fought sleep for an hour - I had been rocking him for 45 mins and he was thrashing his body back and fighting sleep.. I tried laying down feeding to sleep, didn’t work, I tried cot settling didn’t work so I just rocked him as this is what we always do to get him down. He was screaming, throwing his body back and as I was tapping his bum I feel like I tapped it a little harder - not a smack at all, just firmer pressure for a second, he didn’t even notice and I sometimes can pat his bum with that pressure if he’s really unsettled and it’s calmed him but I know it came from a place of frustration so I’m feeling really horrible. I put him in his cot crying and left for 2 minutes to gather myself, I came back and got him to sleep twice and within 5 seconds he’s awake and screaming, I said oh for fucks sake. Have you gotten frustrated with your babies? My husbands away and I’ve had a hard time, my dinner was cold and I haven’t eaten since morning. No excuse I know but I’m feeling like shit, he’s only a baby.

Everyone gets frustrated sometimes. It’s ok to leave the baby in a safe place and take yourself away for a few minutes to settle yourself. It doesn’t make you a bad mum.

6 months was a hard age for me with sleep. I really hope things are better for you soon

It doesn't make you a bad mum for needing to have afew minutes to yourself to recompose.
He was in a safe place.
I remember sitting crying through the night at
that age trying to get him to sleep.
It's very hard.
Things do get easier.

I used to put mine in a pram and put some music on. Didn't take them long to associate music as nap time.
Doubt there is a dm that hasn't walked away from a crying baby.

It’s more the fact I tapped his bum with more pressure out of frustration and swore loudly. I wish I just stayed calm

Guilt is a totally useless emotion really, unless we remember it the next time and it helps us with our behaviour the second time round. Don't worry, your baby won't have known you were frustrated. You are the only one you are punishing.

Is your baby teething OP? Mine is a similar age and does that when he's teething.

@Newmama93

It’s more the fact I tapped his bum with more pressure out of frustration and swore loudly. I wish I just stayed calm

I didn't comment on this because you said he didn't notice. I'm sure the pressure was slight but felt more to you because of how you were feeling.

I had a moment of frustration when dd was around that age and even said to myself 'I now understand how some people shake their baby to death', luckily I recognised that I needed to remove myself from the situation for a moment. So went out in the yard and I screamed. I let it all out. The neighbours must of thought I'd lost it 🤷‍♀️ but it let me vent my frustration, then went back and started the sleeping battle again.

We all have moments we are not proud of, but you've recognised your wrong doing and are now paying the ultimate price - your own guilt. Try not beat yourself up, parenting is hard, especially by yourself.

So true - I had the same thought process. And no he didn’t notice with the bum tap , it was more me because I knew it was slightly harder due to frustration :( I usually step out and call DH but I guess being on my own just got the better of me.

Thanks everyone, I’ll try to learn from it and move on

I bet 99% of Mums have been frustrated or angry at their babies at some point over something that is out of their control, and let that frustration out in various ways - I certainly have. I bet not all will admit it though. Sleep deprivation can heighten any emotion. Don't let it upset you and stop punishing yourself for being human x

Every single mother has been there so don't bear yourself up honestly I remember my baby my baby screaming for hours and I told her to fuck off!! Then crying for feeling guilty for saying it...I remember my friend telling me she rang her husband from the car to say she'd had enough...the husband was in the house and she went for a drive to get away!! Your not the first woman to feel like this and won't be the last!!! And as for the tap on the bum I really wouldn't worry the nappy would've stopped baby feeling anything

I’ve sworn around my baby before- not proud of it and I always aim to do better but we’re humans we get fed up and swear. If you ever suspect you may get more worked up or physical then seek help, put the baby down in the cot and walk away- but ease up on yourself

Thank you!!! Yes I’m up every 45-60 minutes with him ALL night long and have been for 8 weeks now! I’m not over exaggerating either. It’s a killer, I think he is teething.

It's the hardest thing in the world op.
Catch up on some sleep today when he sleeps or if you can't, coffee, feet up and chill watching tele.
The hard nights do disappear.

It’s perfectly ok to put your baby down for two
Minutes and leave the room. Cover your ears deep breaths. Or scream into and punch a pillow.
I too have been there with a cholicy baby and thought now I know how people shake babies. I phoned my mum and got her to come and take baby for a bit. If you have anyone who can, get them to come and take baby out or sit with him so you can get out for five minutes. You’re not a bad mum.

Yes, I got frustrated with my baby. I yelled at them a couple of times... not my finest hour . Said baby is now a bubbly, confident 3yo so it doesn't appear to have had a long-term impact.

I also went through a period of being so sleep-deprived that I hallucinated that I had dropped my baby out of the window. I went through a stage of shutting every window in our third floor flat just in case.

You're doing OK and your baby will be fine. If you feel you're about to lose it, just put the baby in their cot, shut the door and walk away. Take a few minutes to yourself or make a cup of tea.

Every 45 mins? Can you talk us through his routine op?