To be furious with myself for spending all this money and having nothing to show for it

[Runnyrose]

I've just seen my payslips (I do occasional bank shifts for another Trust as well as my main full time job) and because of the 3% pay rise for NHS Staff and that being backdated to April I have quite a bit more than I normally would. But I have spent so much money this month I cannot save a single penny of it. Literally. In fact I need to take £11 out of my savings account to cover all the things I have spent! I've just totted it up and after my bills and everything else that I pay for and budget for in a month I should have been able to save £900 this month which is an awful lot more than I can normally save because of my childcare bill. I am completely disgusted with myself because I have very little to show for it. I'm trying to justify a few things to myself and there are some things that I know made this month an extra expensive month; there was a wedding we went to including hotel and gift and meals out around it; I have invested in a few nice things for my art hobby which I don't think we're an excessive luxury. I've bought a few nice things for DD ready for Christmas and stored them away and a few birthday gifts bought as well for friends and family but that's it... And that really cannot account for much more than half of that! So Christ knows what I've spent £450 on.
I've been doing so much better with my savings recently despite not being able to save as much so to have had a month where I really could have boosted my savings by almost a grand and to have frittered it away is just disgraceful!
I don't really know what my point of this is other than to announce my shame and hang my head!

@BluebellsGreenbells

Best way to save is to constantly check your account for upcoming bills and current total.

I’ve also had an expensive month - kids back to school , so clothes stationary etc - we had a celebration for exams.

It happens.

Or you can separate money into different accounts and leave your bills account alone to run itself, so you don't need to check it between paydays.

I put all regular spending on a credit card that is paid off in full every month and I only need to look at my main account once a month on payday to check there's enough for the regular DDs including last months credit card bill.

The decision about whether or not something is needed/affordable etc is completely separate from the card used to pay for it.

Well, you couldn't have saved the full £900 if you needed to spend some of it on attending a wedding. Dress, hotel, gift, dinners are all expensive things, adding up to £100s!

Some of your other expenses, the gifts, were 'annual' things that happened to fall into this month.

I think the only way to make sense of spending is by budgeting, tracking spending and reconciling the two, every six months or year. That's how you see what's fixed, what's discretionary, how much discretion you really have and what you want to limit in order to save.

You have effectively saved by buying ahead for birthdays and Christmas - as long as you don’t buy more in November- December. I find I have to be strict over this.
I have a Christmas planner and I write down what had been bought for whom so I don’t get extra by forgetting what I’ve already bought.

Half a pound of tup'penny rice
Half a pound of treacle
That's the way the money goes...

It's often little things that it goes on, just adds up to a lot.

It is important not to never treat yourself but when I've found things slipping away it's often on little treats that end up adding up. So we get ice creams because it's hot on the way after school. I buy a drink from a cafe when I'm shopping, add a couple of extra packets of biscuits to the weekly shop, think I'll just get the car washed rather than do it myself because I'm tired etc. None of which is a huge expense but together it adds up. I then feel I haven't got a lot for it because nothing was big.

@Runnyrose we getting the raise this month? Thought it was voted against . Don't get paid till Tuesday.

[quote drinkingwineoutofamug]@Runnyrose we getting the raise this month? Thought it was voted against . Don't get paid till Tuesday. [/quote]
I have a small NHS pension, I wonder if I will get the pay rise and when.

It's strange how getting older means more cash, less or no worry. In some ways everything comes too late, could have done with more during the child rearing years but.....never mind. Better late than never.

Have you factored in the increased cost of living, OP? I did a normal weekly shop a couple of days ago and it cost far more than the same shop a year ago (£150.00 for the required groceries instead of around £95.00). I use a list and bought the same groceries as last year, as we are trying to stick to the same basic diet. (We are a family of four adults).

@ablutiions

The tricks to saving are 1) get paid enough to save (which you seem to) 2) set up a standing order to go out just after payday to a savings account that's hard/fiddly to access (see point 6 below to work out how much) 3) set up a 'sweep' on your account on last day before payday to put any surplus straight into savings 4) use a banking app like mondo that pings you when you spend and tracks it all very visibly. 5) don't use a credit card 6) do an analysis on a spreadsheet for last 6 months analysing exactly what you spent and where. Allocate a sensible budget for presents, meals out etc and stick to it. Be clear on how much you will allow yourself to spend each month. Be realistic. Whatever is left after standing orders and your budgeted living expenses is the amount to save every month. Or if you don't have time to do that , take a guess and see how you do.

You'll soon start to see the savings rise and that's a lovely feeling. Being able to replace /repair the washing machine when it breaks for example, without an overdraft is wonderful.

Hi good advice. How do you do no. 3 - set up a sweep? That sounds like a great idea x

When I started work my DDad said to put away 15% of my wages every month irrespective of what else is going on. Behave as if it never existed and budget as if you are on the reduced income that this meant.

I have had to switch the lecky off at the mains and borrow when my DDog needed emergency surgery at a referral practice but I have consistently done this my entire life and it was good advice.

I know what you mean it's been an expensive month here. I had to buy new filters for the water 403 quid! Apparently I need glasses for the first time. I splurged and got nice frames/anti glare coating but it came to 215 quid.

Not in the budget stuff is challenging but I think it's important to treat yourself too. Living in self imposed poverty because you want to save X every month.

I used to be like thus. Now I have spending account. I put the amount I feel I can afford to just spend in this account each month. The bill money goes into the bill account the rest goes straight into savings.

Its always better to save at tge beginning of tge month. Un like DH who always says he will put in what's left in his in account at the end of the month. Hence why he has no personal savings. He does earn more than me now as I'm semi retired so puts more into the bill account, and into the joint savings. But also has more disposable income than me. He us always astounded how much savings I have

I always move money to savings pots on payday because otherwise I just spend it. I would go back through your transactions for the month and see where the money really went. If its big one off spending like a wedding - that's OK because its not symptomatic of general frittering away of money. Similarly, Christmas and birthday spending unless you are being OTT is inevitable (you can budget for it and put so much a month away). Look for all the silly little things that waste money and see which of those you can eliminate.

A spending diary really focuses the mind.

I keep minimum amount in my current account for DD plus £100 started doing this when my card was cloned. The rest is in savings account that way I have to log on and deliberately transfer money across for presents clothing etc. this works for me

I always put my savings (that I know I won't need to touch for a while) in premium bonds. That way I don't touch it as I think to myself 'what if I take out what would be the winning bond this month!' I sympathise with you though, I generally find it quite hard not to spend what I have.

Sounds like you have spent on some sensible things this month though like getting ahead on Christmas presents so December won't be so expensive, and stuff for your art hobby which is good for the soul. As for the other £450, it's so easy to spend a little here and there and it to add up to a large sum like that, but now you've realised how awful that makes you feel, next month will be different. :)

I know how you feel. I should be comfortably off this month but no, the dog has developed itchy skin and all the surplus has gone on vet's appointments and tablets for her. (she is too old for insurance to be viable)

Everyone does this from timd to time. Especially after this awful lockdown. I gave up doing a craft years ago. This month I spent quite a bit on new stuff for it and then thought can I really be bothered doing this. Give yourself a fixed amount spends a month. And write down what you spend.

Why don't you transfer your monthly spending allowance to a Revolute (or similar card) so that you separate your day to day finances from your main account.
All those "small" nip to shop purchases can soon add up along with the media subscriptions etc.
Transfer a manageable amount from your account to savings on pay day then at least you are accumulating something each month.

Are you young enough to open a LISA? Mind you cant get access to it without losing interest until you are 60 or buy your first house. With my LISA with moneybox I have it set up to 'round up' any purchases I make with my card to the nearest £, over the last 2 years this has saved £2k the govt then add £1 for every £4 you save. If you can't get a LISA I know my old TSB account also offered a round up service into a savings account that you could get access to but without the govt bonus.

If you are on a lowish income you might be able yo set ip a Help to Save account, you can save a max £50 a month and the govt give a large bonus at the end of 2 and 4 years.

Channel that anger OP!

I'm trying to justify a few things to myself and there are some things that I know made this month an extra expensive month; there was a wedding we went to including hotel and gift and meals out around it; I have invested in a few nice things for my art hobby which I don't think we're an excessive luxury. I've bought a few nice things for DD ready for Christmas and stored them away and a few birthday gifts bought as well for friends and family but that's it

Actually I don't think any of that is that bad. Even if you hadn't received the extra money you would have had to pay for the hotel and meals out for the wedding anyway, so the extra money was a help there.
You didn't splash out on random gifts for DD and give them to her now, but are saving them for Christmas, so in the next couple of months you won't need to spend that on her again and can save the money.
And as for the art supplies - I think when you get an "unexpected" bonus like that, it's nice to buy something for yourself that you would like which you might not normally be able to afford.

You reckon you spent half the money on the above and half has disappeared, but I reckon the above probably cost more than the 450 quid anyway.
It is easy to fritter away stuff - I'm on a spending strike at the moment - bought enough food to last a month, meal planned and prepped. I'm being really strict - I haven't been to the supermarket for 2 weeks. It's amazing how much money you can save - those "top up shops" always end up costing a fortune - you go in for a couple of things and there's 20 quid down the drain straightaway.

You could make a plan now to save the disappearing 450 quid back as quickly as possible so you don't need to feel bad about it. And the things you listed above you don't need to feel bad about at all!

Don't beat yourself up too much. I get a quarterly bonus and despite my best efforts to save most of it there's always something unexpected that pops up and the money is gone (vet bills, car repairs, dental treatment...)

If you've been picking up extra shifts it's possible that the money has partially been spent on little treats such as coffees/lunch/snacks etc - this is where my money tends to go when I'm not keeping a watchful eye on it.

For a 5-day work week, having a coffee each day could be costing you £60-80 a month on that alone, for example.

I also tend to online shop more when I've been working hard/stressed etc, never buying big things, but a few pounds here or there does add up.

Don't feel bad about it though - it sounds like you're already improving with your savings strategy and it sounds like you work hard, so all you need to do now is analyse where the extra money is going and come up with some strategies to save more of the 'extra'. Combing through your bank statements may help identify where it's gone.

Best of luck OP, it's been a horrible 2 years, especially for NHS staff. Don't be too hard on yourself

Can you calculate your monthly budget then set up a DD for some savings to go out when your salary comes in?

Just work out what the frittering was. It hasn’t disappeared into thin air. Go through your bank debits and look at your diary and identify frittering v actual legit expenditure.

In future put savings away on payday, according to a realistic budget. Don’t wait til the end of the month to save what’s left.

Hi everyone, thank you for your kindness. I am normally quite good with budgeting and saving, I think this month has just got away from me. I do have a separate emergency fund in premium bonds so the savings I'm trying for now are to make my home nicer; there are so many improvements we would love to make but hey ho. And I do have a LISA and already have round ups set up for that. I actually ended up putting £60 in this month because of the amount of spending 🤣 so I have saved something... I just can't touch it for 30 years.
I have sat down and looked at every purchase I have made this month and I have just let those little things get away from me; far too many tops ups here and there and too many getting coffees whilst out and about. I've also broken down how many of those things I actively regret buying (not just could have gone without) and to be fair, there aren't too many. I'm very pleased with my new arty bits and they are a nice treat. The wedding was a wonderful little get away and you're all right that these Christmas and birthday bits would have been bought anyway. So nevermind. A new toilet would have been nice but maybe I can get that in December.

Happy saving everyone and thank you for the perspective.